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Solie's Tuesday Morning Report

Volume 1, Issue 102
December 30, 1996

Monday Night Wars Edition

Nitro Report

The NWO arrives by limo at the top of the program. Hogan is struttin' and braggin' (about what I can't imagine) The Giant reminds him that he has a title shot coming (remember? he won WW3...) Hogan tries to tell him that he should "take a buy" on that one but the big guy isn't buying it...they don't seem to be agreeing on this point but Hogan dismisses the argument as they head inside, telling the Giant not to "drop the ball" again.

Tony and Larry open the program officially and remind us that Hogan lost the match last night. They show stills from the Lugar/Giant match.

The Amazing French Canadians vs. Public Enemy - a re-match from last week. PE bring their furniture of course. You can see the table sagging where it's been cut as they set it up. At first the Canadians won't let them into the ring - but they fight their way in and dump their opponents out to the floor. Now PE keeps the Canadians out. The Canadians decide to leave so PE grab the Canadians' flags and go on the attack. They put Jacque on the table but he escapes before they can squash him. Back inside the Canadians gang up on Rocco Rock and get the win.

Jushen Thunder Liger vs. Ultimo Dragon - UD enters wearing the Cruiserweight belt he won last night. Liger dominates the early going with quick movement and crisp blows. Then he gets dumped out and speared by the Dragon. Outside Liger is thrown into the safety railing. Back inside the Ultimo Dragon goes for a Swan Dive splash but gets a foot in the face instead. Liger suplexes him then takes him up and Superplexes him.

But the Dragon comes right back - he turns the tables then Frankensteiners Liger off the top rope to get the win.

Konan vs. Mr. Wallstreet - strap match - Bubba is announced as the opponent but fails to appear. Wallstreet comes down supposedly to deliver a message then Pearl Harbors Konan. He slips on the strap and whips the Mexican star with it. The action goes into see-saw mode for a little while then Wallstreet gets the strap around Konan's neck. He starts to make the rounds of the corners but doesn't realize that Konan is tagging all of the corners right behind him (didn't we already see this match at IYH Beware of Dog?) Konan gets thrown into the final corner and wins the match - much to Wallstreet's surprise...

NWO music plays as Hogan and Bischoff approach the ring. They are all smiles amid the jeers of the crowd. Bischoff introduces Hogan - saying that Hogan beat Piper "right in the middle of the ring" - Hogan claims that Piper had his son beg Hollywood for mercy. He the states that he destroyed Piper (what replay were they watching..?) Bischoff starts to ask for a moment of silance for Piper but changes his mind...Hogan goes into his posing schtick as we cut to commercial.

The announcers refute Hogan's claims and promise to show the video from last nights Main Event to prove their point.

Hugh Morrus vs. Kensuki Sosaki - two bulls face off in the ring. Morrus is slightly bigger but probably no more powerful then his opponent. They trade clotheslines ineffectively at the start. Then they clothesline each other simultaneously. Both are right back up. This seems to be a standoff. Hugh Morrus finally gets the upper hand.

At this point, Bischoff shows up at the broadcast position with a videotape in hand. He says he's confiscating the tape from last night so their not going to show anything.

Back in the ring Morrus is still in charge - he moonsaults Sosaki and would have the pin except that Sonny Oono brains him with the Japanese flag pole. Sosaki is DQ'd.

The announcers show still photos from last night documenting Piper's victory over Hogan.

Faces of Fear vs. Harlem Heat - good to see the Heat back in action - the Faces dominate the early action until Col. Parker shows up to harrass Sheri. She jumps him and wrestles him to the ground. Meanwhile, in the ring, Stevie Ray has put Meng down when Jacque Rougeau appears out of nowhere and throws some kind of black powder (charcoal?) in his face. The Heat still manage to win after Booker T rolls his brother onto the still down Meng.

Diamond Dallas Page interview - he's quite subdued - says he knows what he has to do but won't reveal what it is.

Review of Hogan's statements from earlier this evening.

Glacier vs Disco Inferno - Disco warns his opponent at the beginning that he's had two weeks to practice and has perfected his new leg hold. He advises Glacier to give up now and save himself a beating. Glacier doesn't buy it and, of course, Disco never gets a chance to try his new hold - Glacier squashes him. The black powder is still all over the ring, Disco Inferno's back is covered with it.

Stills of Benoit vs. Jarrett from last night.

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit - Jericho comes on very aggressively and has the upper hand until Benoit drops him onto the top rope in a stun-gun maneuver. From then on it is a see-saw affair with Benoit mosly in charge. In the end a belly-to-back super-plex gives him the win.

Four Horsemen interview - Debra tries to kiss up to Woman whio tells her to shut her mouth. Mongo chews Woman out and ends up nose -to-nose with Benoit. Jarrett interrupta and wants to know why he was shafted by Arn last night (Arn isn't around). Benoit tells Jarrett " proved it yourself, you can be anything but a Horseman". He and Nancy leave. Flair is still trying to keep the peace...Debra runs her mouth...the Horsemen are falling apart.

Midget wrestlers from Mexico - Octogoncito/Mascarita Sugrada vs Jerico Estrada/Piratita Morgan - the action here is to fast to call - the biggest guy in this match (Estrada) is only 5 feet tall. It seems like about a third of the flying moves they throw fail to connect but these guys just bounce right back. The smallest guy (Octogoncito) ends up pinning the biggest guy.

Dean Malenko vs. Rey Misterio Jr. - as stoic as ever, Malenko still manages to convey a certain desparation in this match. He grounds his smaller opponent from the get-go. Rey can't seem to get his flying act together - obviously Malenko has done his homework. At one point Misterio leapfrogs Malenko who thrusts up and sends Rey sailing right to the top rope in the corner. Unfortunately Misterio loses his footing and straddles the rope. Moments later he goes for a Frankensteiner but Malenko shifts his weight and turns it into a Boston Crab. Incredibly, Rey Jr. bridges out of it! Then the time limit (10 minutes) runs out. Rey wants 5 more minutes but doesn't get it.

Greg "the Hammer" Valentine vs. Lex Lugar - this should be a squash but Valentine comes on strong. Lugar comes back but keeps getting caught in mistakes - Valentine rarely makes one. After a few exchanges Lugar ends up out on the floor and has considerable difficulty getting back in. As soon as he does he puts "the Hammer" in the rack and makes him submit.

Piper makes an entrance - he says he figures Hogan and Bischoff must have been "on Mars" last night. He declares that he is the icon and he's proud to wear a kilt. He announces that last night was his last fight - he says he's getting to old for this stuff.

NWO music plays - here come Hogan and Bischoff again. Piper lays on his back in the ring as they approach - but he's back on his feet before they get into the ring. Hogan calls Piper a liar, claims he "dogged" Piper. Piper says "the only time you ever dogged was when you wee-weed on a fire hydrant..." The crowd is chanting "Piper! Piper!" and its killing Hogan. Hogan renews his claim that Piper son begged him for mercy on his father - then the Outsiders and Syxx attack Piper from behind.

The Giant brings up the rear but he's moving slowly. He stands and watches while the rest of Hogan's thugs (now with Norton and Bagwell) beats Piper down. They spike him on his shoulder then Hogan brings in a chair and whacks his hip with it. Hogan calls on the Giant to chokeslam Piper. The Giant grabs Piper by the throat and holds him aloft but hesitates. Then he drops him to the ground and stands over him as the rest of the NWO retreats to the opposite corner. The Paramedics come and cart Piper away.

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Hogan is berating the Giant for "dropping the ball again" when the big guy grabs him by the throat! He demands his title shot...Hogan chokes out an apology and rolls out of the ring. As soon as he's clear he sics the pack on his tormentor. The Giant holds them off for a while but soon is overwhelmed. They hold him while Hogan smashes him with the Title belt. They strip off the NWO T-Shirt and beat him some more. Hogan hits him with the belt again.

We see Piper being hauled away in an ambulance as we fade to black...

RAW Report

We get a video review of the verbal feud between Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels. They will meet face to face tonight (in an interview).

Steve Austin/Farrooq vs. Job Armstrong/Savio Vega - Double J sings his way to the ring in his funny outfit but gets blindsided by Austin on the way there. Savio shows up and evens things up somewhat. He takes Austin into the ring and starts beating on him. Austin recovers his composure and turns the tables with a stun-gun - he tags in Farrooq who tries to make short work of the Carribean Legend - but its not going to be that easy. In fact Vega holds his own against both opponents. He tags in Armstrong who does okay for about three seconds then loses his momentum by tossing himself over the top rope to the floor. Austin does his clip job number on Double J's leg.

Bret Hart comes down to intervene - Double J seems to be out of it and Hart is lobbying to replace him in the match as we go to commercial.

Hart is in the match as we return although Savio Vega is the one on the ring with Austin. Vega is taking it from both his opponents. Still he manages to tag Hart in who starts cleaning house. Hart has Farrooq set up for the Sharpshooter whe NOD hits the ring. Hart and Vega get ganged on until Ahmed Johnson shows up with his 2X4. The African American Jim Duggan starts his "Your Going Down!" chant as Vega and Hart limp away from the ring.

Flash Funk vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsly - Goldust and Marlena are on hand to scout the opposition. Goldy has a match with Lawler later tonight.

2 Cold comes on strong - he's definitly the one with the lion's share of the talent in this one. Hunter is overwhelmed in the opening stages of the match. Eventually Hunter suckers Funk into splashing the canvas. Now he takes over. He tosses Funk out to the floor - as he returns to the ring he almost turns the tables but no cigar. Hunter takes over again just before the commercial break.

Funk gets in a good shot just as we return but loses the advantage almost immediately. Hunter is relentless. Meanwhile the Burger King decides to start verbally abusing Goldust. Back in the ring Hunter is starting to lose it because Lawler is distracting everyone except 2 Cold. Hunter rolls out of the ring as Flash finally starts paying attention to Lawler. He grabs the belt and plays possum until Flash gets close enough to get cold cocked. He takes the pin.

Out in the aisle Goldust is stalking the King - Hunter tries sneak-up behind him but gets attacked by Funk who drags him back into the ring and throws a double-somersault splash on him to get his revenge.

Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels - the verbal duel - Shawn enters first to his music and fireworks - he doesn't do his strip tease since he is in street clothes. Hart makes his way to the ring. Shawn declines to speak first so Hart berates him for having no class and no respect. His mic keeps cutting out so he's a little hard to make out. He says that Michaels degraded the WWF Title. Throughout this tirade, HBK stands stone-faced and chews gum. Hart ends his speech by saying he'll kick Michael's ass - because he can.

As Michaels starts to respond Sid shows up and interrupts the proceedings. Sid starts to rant but the lights go the Undertaker is headed to the ring! He gets back-jumped by Vader but fights him off and continues down the aisle to face Sid. Vader attacks again. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Michaels takes advantageof Bret's precarious position straddling the second rope to crotch him and then launch himself onto Sid. They fight it out in the aisle - the suits show up to separate them as we cut to commercial.

Helmsley and Honky Tonk Man have joined the broadcast team. Lawlers music (I believe that's Holst's "Great Gate of Kiev") plays and the King starts his entrance as we cut away again. There are less then five minutes left in the program.

As expected the match is underway when we return. Helmsley has lured Goldust into position so Lawler can back-jump him. Back in the ring, the King can't maintain his advantage - Goldust is taking him apart. Lawler momentarily regains the upper hand as Helmsley grabs Marlena and throws her over his shoulder. He's leaving with her when confronted by Marc Mero. Goldust abandons the fight in the ring to rescue his lady as Hunter tosses her to Mero. Goldust rushes in and Helmsley sidesteps sending him carreening into Mero - Marlena goes flying. Goldust and Mero are down as well. Helmsley attacks Goldust - kicking him in the ribs repeatedly - then he attacks Mero, stomps on Goldust for good measure then leaves. Marlena lies in a convenient pool of gold light as we fade to black...

Both shows were pretty good tonight - they seem to be trying harder again. The Giants defection was well played out - and the Horsemen saga is turning into a tradgedy before our eyes. The Michaels/Hart dustup was exciting stuff and I really enjoyed the tag team match on RAW tonight. Not bad at all...

Anyway, that's the way I see it...

Earl Oliver,
editor Solie's Wrestling Newsletter

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This page is a personal tribute and is in no way connected to any of the wrestling promotions mentioned on it. It is dedicated to the Dean of Wrestling announcers, Gordon Solie.

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Copyright 1996 - Jump City Productions