Volume 2, Issue 113
January 19, 1997
I receieved this message from my Seattle correspondent tonight:
I goofed. It was Hysteria and Mini Mankind playing Blackjack and on the second match it was Hysteria and Venom vs. Venom and Mascarita Sagrada Jr. The details of the match are unchanged though. I guess I'm not very well versed on AAA stars. Sorry.
Mini-Vader/Mini-Mankind vs. La Parkita/Masquertita Sagrata Jr. - this is a typical midget match in the Luche Libra style - meaning even more frenetic than the usual of either type. To fast to call really, but the littlest guy (Sagrata) ends up pinning the biggest guy (Mini-Vader)
This rather short match (no pun intended) is followed by the usual 20 minutes or so of advance hype for the main program coming up. Shawn Michaels is interviewed saying he has the flu but will still win the belt back tonight. Sunny dances in, Todd whips up the crowd from the ring. Sid makes an appearance and apologizes for what he's going to do...
The PPV starts with Goldust vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley - Goldust enters on film, in letterbox format. Hunter brings a butler with him - Mr. Hughes. Goldust attacks them both in the aisle. Drags Hunter to the ring and goes to work on him. Throws him out and rams him into the guard rail. Back inside Goldust pins his opponent in the corner and pounds on him until Helmsley gets a reverse Atomic Drop. Goldust comes right back - throws Hunter outside then drops the ring steps on him! Hunter gets up then stumbles and runs his own head into the steps.
Hunter finally snaps Goldust's neck off the top rope to gain the advantage. But Goldy comes back again and turns the tables - Goldust gets tossed out of the ring. Helmsley drops a double ax-handle on him from the top.Then he flings Goldust's shoulder into the ringpost, sets him up on the guard rail and runs his own knee into the rail when Goldust steps aside. Goldust drops the steps on his knee this time. Goldust helps Hunter back into the ring then follows him in - starts to work on his knee in earnest.
Hunter finally escapes but can't keep his freedom. Goldust slaps on a figure-four leglock. He uses the ropes for levarage and gets caught by the ref - releases the hold. Outside the ring Goldy clips Hunter ala Stone Cold, shouts "Get up you piece of shit!!", then hits him again. He drops Hunter's knee on the steps (ouch!). Back inside he continues to pound on Hunter but Helmsley lifts a knee and turns the tables. Goldy whips off the ropes and flings himself out of the ring. He's limping as he attacks Goldust on the floor then shoves him into the railing. He then rams him into the steps and goes back inside.
He can barely stand on his injured leg let alone do his curtsy schtick for the crowd. He goes back out and slugs Goldust who is still down. He grabs Marlena's director's chair but is prevented from using it by the referee. Meanwhile Todd Pettingill is interviewing country singer Collin Raye in the crowd (apropose to nothing...).
Both men are back in the ring going into a criss-cross, Goldust gets a flying clothesline then a back body drop. he goes to the top but get shaken off when the ref is shoved into the ropes. Hunter goes up for a super-plex but gets shoved off. Goldust throws a flying elbow but misses. Mr. Hughes throws the Title belt into the ring to Helmsley. Hughes is on the apron, so is Marlena. Hunter grabs Marlena and kisses her! Goldust attacks from behind but then gets distracted by Mr. Hughes - he shoves Marlena's cigar into Hughes face. Hunter uses the distraction to blindside Goldust then puts the Curtain Call on him to win.
Bret Hart interview - he's a "marked man" but he still plans to win (duh!) Mankind (the big one) says he doesn't care about the title shot - he just wants to hurt people.
The Nation of Domination accompanies Faarooq to the ring. Finally were going to get to see this match after all these months.
Faarooq vs. Ahmed Johnson - Ahmed runs right into the ring and goes on the attack as the NOD scatter. Faarooq rolls out - Ahmed follows him out and runs him into the ringpost. Back inside Faarooq goes after Ahmed's kidney. Crush tosses him a belt but the referee prevents him from using it. Ahmed get hold of it and whips Faarooq repeatedly. It's still all Ahmed to this point. Outside the ring he rams Faarooq into the steps - Faarooq shoves one of his goons at Johnson then clotheslines his opponent. He slams Ahmeds kidney on a chair then hits him on the back with it. He's concentrating on the kidney area with every blow.
Back in the ring he kicks Ahmed twice in the ribs then scoops him up and lays him out on the top turnbuckle - kicks him in the midsection again. Johnson is helpless on the mat. Simmons rolls him over and punches him in the kidney, then puts on a modified Camel Clutch. Faarooq then gets distracted by one of his own troups (Wolfie D I think). He gets picked up and dropped on his back. Faarooq goes for a top-rope move but gets caught and powerbombed. He comes back with a sidewalk slam - Ahmed turns around and returns the favor. The NOD swarms into the ring and Ahmed fights them all off.
Out in the aisle, one of the NOD thugs attacks Ahmed from behind to little effect. Johnson drags him back to the ring area and puts the Pearl River Plunge on him - destroying the French commentators table in the process.
Ahmed wins by DQ for outside interference. A moral victory if nothing else.
Vader vs. The Undertaker - Vader enters alone - the lights go out and the Undertaker makes his entrance. Vader seems somewhat intimidated. He rushes in and gets sidestepped. They trade blows. Undertaker chokes Vader in the corner until Vader escapes and starts knocking UT down. UT keeps doing his pop-up bit. Vader rolls out and accosts the referee. Undertaker drops on him from the apron. He pummels Vader then goes back in. Vader goes in and gets dropped with a scissor kick. UT scoop-slams his opponent then drops another leg on him. He grabs a wristlock and tries his rope-walking schtick but gets upset. Both men are out on the mat now. UT gets up first. He approaches Vader and gets crotched. Now Vader is on top for the first time in the match. Vader uses his weight to good advantage. After dropping his opponent twice he goes for a pin but fails in the attempt. He grabs onto the trapezese muscle in a modified claw.
Undertaker breaks free - punches Vader several times then gets a belly-to-back suplex. Vader comes right back and sidesteps one of UT's flying clotheslines. Moments later he gets a powerbomb but can't pin the dead man. Undertaker comes back strong, he downs Vader then succeeds with his rope walking routine this time.
Here comes Paul Bearer to make trouble...Undertaker chokeslams Vader then clotheslines him out of the ring - then he goes out and punches Paul Bearer (that must have been satisfying...) then throws him into the ring. He grabs Paul by the neck - Vader tries to attack but gets cut-off. UT knocks Paul Bearer out of the ring and goes after Vader again. He drapes Vader on the railing then rushes him - Paul Bearer pulls Vader out of the way and UT smashes into the railing. Paul comes down on UT's head with the Urn. UT rolls into the ring and Vader bombs him for the pin. Vader and Paul leave arm in arm.
Undertaker grabs the referee and chokeslams him after the match, tears up some furniture ringside then confronts Vince at the broadcast table. Then he stalks away.
Aguaio/Kanec/Heavy Metal vs. Garza/Guerrera/Estrada - this is a classic Lucha Libra style six-man match. It reminds me of the matches I used to watch on Channel 34 in L.A. as a kid. The action is too fast to call. Even the announcers are getting confused. Vince keeps referring to Aguaio as Estrada. We saw Hector Garza the other night on RAW - very impressive youngster. Now Vince is referring to Estrada as Heavy Metal. Jim Ross corrects him without making it obvious. Garza finally pins Heavy Metal for the win.
The Fink announces that the attendance at the arena is over 60,800.
The Royal Rumble - they are going to enter in 90 second intervals (although JR incorrectly states that they are coming in every 30 seconds).
Crush is the #1 entry - his immediate opponent is Ahmed Johnson. Crush attacks as Ahmed enters the ring (now Vince is calling Ahmed Faarooq - come on McMahon - get it together). Crush gets the upper hand and tries to roll Ahmed out over the top rope but can't do it. "Razor Ramon" is #3 - he enters and gets tossed out by Ahmed almost immediately. Moments later Ahmed eliminates himself to go after Faarooq who has appeared in the aisle.
Phineous Godwin is the next man in. Crush is alone so they go at it. Steve Austin is next - Crush is out of it so PIG goes after Austin and clotheslines him to the mat. Now Crush is back. He and Austin try a double team on Phineous but Crush gets it when PIG ducks. Phineous eliminates Crush then Austin eliminates PIG. Bart Gunn comes next. He and Austin have a dust up then Gunn is eliminated. Austin is alone in the ring for about 30 seconds.
Jake the Snake is next - he comes to the ring with Damien in a bag. He tosses the snake into the ring then jumps on Austin. He gets an arm-wringer. A referee removes the snake from the ring. Austin edges over to the ropes and then flips Jake out and eliminates him. The Brittish Bulldog is next. he attacks Austin (who else?) - they talk about Bret Hart being a marked man but Austin has made nothing but enemies since entering the WWF.
Pierroth is the next competitor - he attacks the Bulldog - Austin is out on the mat. He and the Bulldog go at it until Austin recovers and attacks Pierroth. The Sultan is next. He attacks Pierroth (the poor guy is getting it from everyone!) while Bulldog goes back to work on Austin. Steve goes for the eyes and turns the tables. Meanwhile Mil Mascaras shows up. Now the ring has a few competitors in it and is starting to look like a Battle Royal.
Mascaras goes after the Sultan. He is in amazing shape - he's got to be older than Methusela, or maybe even Ric Flair... Bulldog, Austin and Pierroth are tied up in a corner trying to eliminate each other. Hunter Hearst Helmsley is next in and attacks the Bulldog right away. Then Mil Mascaras attacks Hunter. The Sultan is tossed out by Davey Boy. The two Mexicans gang up on the Bulldog. Austin is fighting with Helmsley.
Owen Hart hits the ring. He goes after Austin - then Bulldog and Austin are back into it. While trying to eliminate Austin, Bulldog gets tossed out by his partner. He calls Owen an idiot before he leaves. Goldust is the next entrant - he's attacked by Austin. Mascaras almost eliminates Owen. Cibernetico hits the ring next. He goes after Mascaras. Hunter battles Goldust while Pierroth and Hunter go at it.
Marc Mero enters next. Cibernetico eliminated then his mentor Pierroth. Mascaras gets confused (must be age...) and splashes Pierroth from the top rope thus eliminating himself. Goldust eliminates Hunter - revenge is sweet.
The Latin Lover is next up - he attacks Austin and then gets into it with Owen. Owen eliminates Goldust. Faarooq is next - goes after the Latin Lover and tosses him out. Austin and Faarooq get it on - Ahmed Johnson shows up with a six or seven foot long 2X4 and eliminates Faarooq. More justice. Owen Hart and Mero eliminate each other - Austin is alone again.
Savio Vega shows up, he scuffles with Austin - Vega dominates but Austin manages to clotheslines him out of the ring.
Double J (Job Jobber) is next up - he and Austin exchange blows - JJ does his silly dance and rushes in - gets eliminated. Austin is alone again.
Bret Hart's music plays and Austin looks stricken - I love it how Austin reveals himself in these crisis moments - he's come a long way as an actor since his Stunning Steve days. They go toe-to-toe with Hart getting the upper hand. He pounds Austin - he doesn't seem to be limping. He puts Austin into a Sharpshooter.
The KIng is next - he strips off his shirt and leaves the broadcast table - Hart punches him twice and knocks him out of the ring and out of the match, then turns his attention back to Austin. "Diesel" is next to enter and goes right after Hart. Austin collapses in the corner. (I just realized we haven't seen the Outsiders at ringside as was rumored) "Diesel" and Bret try to eliminate Austin. Terry Funk comes down to the ring and goes after the still staggered Austin while Bret battles "Diesel". Then Funk and Bret battle while "Diesel" and Austin sit it out.
Rocky Maivia is next - he attacks Austin then goes after "Diesel". Funk interferes as Maivia is tryingto eliminate "Diesel". Mankind hits the ring with a "bang! bang!" (sorry, I couldn't resist...) and attacks Funk. Terry Funk's little brother Flash is the next competitor. He goes after "Diesel". Hart piledrives Austin, Flash flies into Terry and "Diesel". Maivia/Mankind team up against the elder Funk brother.
Vader is up next and goes after Hart. Flash interferes. Austin attacks Vader but gets repelled. Hart attacks Vader. Henry Godwin hits the ring and goes after Vader. He puts him down with a clothesline then goes after Mankind. Flash Funk is on Maivia, Hart is on "Diesel".
The Undertaker is up next - the lights go out momentarily. Undertaker goes after Vader and puts him down - then attacks Mankind. He then grabs Austin by the throat and chokeslams him. Ditto for Vader. He smashes "Diesel"'s head into Flash Funk's who is then eliminated by Vader. Godwin battles Undertaker while Hart and Austin go at it while Vader, Funk and Maivia mix it up. Austin and Funk trade chops.
Undertaker eliminates Henry Godwin, Mankind eliminates Maivia then Terry Funk. Undertaker eliminates Mankind. Terry Funk and Mankind get it into it on the floor providing a distraction so that when Bret eliminates Austin it goes unnoticed by the referees (this part was very well choreographed...).
Austin sneaks back into the ring and starts eliminating left and right. He dumps Vader and the Undertaker before eliminating Hart. Steve Austin wins the Royal Rumble.
This really stinks!! Expect to see Bret Hart spoil Austin's chances in the match tomorrow night.
Next up the Main Event
Shawn Michaels enters with Jose Lothario. He's wearing a cowboy hat that really looks stupid with his boy toy outfit. He does his dance routine while the crowd pops it's head off.
Here comes Sid - he "smells a powerbomb" (or so he says). He is roundly booed by the fiercely partisan crowd. The two contenders talk trash nose-to-nose then Sid shoves Shawn down. HBK comes back and gets shoved down again. Michaels gains the early advantage, bounces Sid's head on the mat a few times then super-kicks him in the chest sending him out to the floor.
Shawn goes out after him and gets slammed onto the apron and then gorrilla pressed. He escapes with a rake to the eyes. Back inside Sid slips on a Camel Clutch. Shawn is looking a bit peaked. Sid pounds on his back then slaps the Camel Clutch back on again. Sid tries a butt drop butt misses (cute, huh?). Shawn is back up and all over him until he gets whipped to the corner and over the top to the floor.
Sid goes out after him - scoops him up and runs his back into the ringpost twice. Back in the ring Shawn kicks out of a pin attempt. Sid goes back to work on the back of his opponent - reverse chinlock with a knee to the back. Shawn escapes - punches Sid then springs off the rope and gets clotheslined. Another pin attempt fails. Shawn is whipped piller to post and ends up in a bearhug. Shawn escapes after a while, goes for a flying move and gets caught in the bearhug yet again. Shawn sinks to the mat still in the hold. Sid tries another pin - no soap.
Shawn is back with a flurry - gets in a flying elbow then goes for the superkick but Sid has done his homework - in fact Sid is wrestling this match far more intellengently then he usually does...he grabs Shawn's foot and flips him over the top rope. Sid powerbombs Shawn on the outside (I noticed that he reached underneath and grabbed Shawn's tights to take some of the momentum out of the blow) then he grabs both Lotharios (father and son) - Shawn is back up so they return to the ring.
Sid chokeslams Shawn but the ref is down because Shawn was just shoved into him in the corner - a second official comes in a gets a two count. They all scuffle in the corner then Sid punches out the second referee.
Jose Lothario jumps up on the apron (pretty spry for an old man) and distracts Sid while Shawn grabs a camera away from the cameraman at ringside. he hits Sid in the back then brains him with it. Sid kicks out on the two count. Shawn hits him with the "sweet chin music" and we have a new WWF Champion.
Shawn, the Lotharios, the crowd, Vinnie Mac all celebrate as the PPV ends on a high note. Tomorrow Shawn faces Steve Austin but I'm sure Bret Hart will interfere in that one...
Anyway, that's the way I see it...
editor Solie's Wrestling Newsletter
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