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Solie's Tuesday Morning Report: EXTRA!

Volume 1, Issue 13
June 18, 1996

Brian Pillman Press Conference

Here is the transcript of the Brian Pillman Press Conference. Very interesting reading.

(After Pillman signs contract with the WWF.)

Brian Pillman: I want to thank everyone for being here. I'm normally not this choked up, but the events that have taken place in the past eight weeks have changed the future of my life to the point where I didn't know whether I was going to live or not -- to standing here signing a contract for the World Wrestling Federation. It's a dream come true. It's an opportunity that very few athletes get, and I'd like to thank JJ Dillon and Gorilla and the rest of my now extended family. Thank you very much.

Dok goes to interview Brian...

(Clapping)

Brian Pillman: Shut the hell up! Yeah, I'm talking to you bozo!

Dok: I'll be more than glad to walk around...

Brian Pillman: Just get over here! Do what I say, you're the prop here! I'm the star! The latest WWF superstar...it's all official...the formalities are out of the way. So why don't we just cut to the chase Mr. President Monsoon, what did they make you the president of the good ol' boys network as well?

Gorilla: I think this contract signing is officially over.

Brian Pillman: I think you need to back up!

Gorilla: What?

Brian Pillman: What are you a big bully too? You gonna beat up a cripple? A helpless invalid??

Gorilla: You got one leg now, you wanna try it with none?

Brian Pillman: Go ahead! Why don't you sit down, I think this press conference is now BRIAN F'N PILLMAN'S PRESS CONFERENCE AND WE'RE REALLY GONNA FIND OUT WHAT ALL YOU YES MEN...WHAT ALL YOU OBSEQUIOUS LAPDOGS THAT ARE TELLING MONSOON AND JJ DILLON WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR WHEN THEY WANT TO HEAR IT! Well, ladies and gentlemen, the loose cannon is here...at your disposal. So go ahead, you want the truth? Ask away!

Reporter: Brian, why the sudden change of character? I don't understand. What's going on?

Brian Pillman: You don't get it, you're just a dumb reporter. All you do is just distort the facts, ruin people's lives each and every day on the front page and you don't get it do you? I don't get you, what's your motivation?

Dok: Let me ask you this, obviously you have a hidden agenda here...

Brian Pillman: I DON'T HAVE AN AGENDA!

Dok: So why don't you just cut to the chase and tell us your hidden agenda?

Brian Pillman: I am here to kick ass! That's what Brian Pillman does each and every day of the week. I don't have a hidden agenda like yourself! I don't have to make somebody in the north tower of some fancy suite happy! I do what's best for my success! That's what's made me the greatest athlete that's ever graced the face of this sport. My record speaks for itself. Another question!

Reporter: Mr. Pillman, do you think your track record internationally would make you a liability to the World Wrestling Federation?

Brian Pillman: LIABILITY?? MY TRACK RECORD AND MY MARQUE NAME VALUE IS GONNA BRING YOU MR. SUIT...RATINGS!! IT'S GOING TO LINE YOUR POCKETS WITH GOLD...because I'm a star. And people want to be as close to me as possible.

Reporter: Mr. Pillman...

Brian Pillman: It figures we had to hear from a feminist sooner or later..don't get hysterical on me!

Reporter: As a "dumb reporter" sir, using your words, if we were to write a headline tomorrow, how would you like to see that headline written?

Brian Pillman: "Brian Pillman, The Greatest"...that pretty much sums it up.

Reporter: In your book sir...

Brian Pillman: You can go across the board ma'am, there's no weaknesses here.

Reporter: I'm not so sure of that.

Brian Pillman: Well why don't you address them now if you are not so sure? Or are you going to have to go back to your little library and get on your laptop and find some little glitch along the lines? Speak up NOW!

Reporter: I think you have given me plenty sir. Thank you.

Reporter: How do you see yourself presented on merchandise?

Brian Pillman: Any way I want to. Any piece of memorabilia, merchandise...whether it's a towel or a coat rack with my name, my legacy, my heritage is gonna sell. And that's why I am here, let's face it. This relationship was forged on greed. I went to the highest bidder. I WAS THE HOTTEST FREE AGENT ON THE MARKET IN THE HISTORY OF THIS SPORT! Believe me I took advantage of that leverage. I'm here to aggrandize my wealth, the WWF obviously has me to shoot thier ratings through the roof.

Dok: Well Brian let me ask you...

Brian Pillman: DON'T INTERRUPT ME HENDRIX!! You're not dealing with a lowlife like Pettengill that you can walk all over...you can talk now...

Dok: Thank you so much. I do know your past history. Don't you think you are putting the cart before the horse here considering you are not 100% rehabilitated and you have yet to step into a ring with any WWF superstar.

Brian Pillman: Well, people think I'm conceeded. I'm just convinced Mr. Hendrix...I'M THAT GOOD! ANYBODY ELSE WITH THIS INJURY WOULD STILL BE IN A HOSPITAL BED WITH IV'S STICKING OUT OF EM WAITING FOR THE NURSE TO CHANGE THIER BEDPAN. I DON'T GIVE A GOD DAMN WHAT THE HELL YOU THINK! YOU AND YOUR WWF SUPERSTARS...YOU GET ME A MEDICAL RELEASE RIGHT NOW AND I WILL GET OUT THERE WITH YOUR WWF SUPERSTARS...I'LL SHOW EM WHERE IT'S AT!

Dok: Just take it easy. What's your problem? I mean a guy that just lived through an accident...

Brian Pillman: My problem is that I'm a guy whose lifelong dream was reaching a higher level of mediocrity trying to question a legacy of greatness. You can check my track record, from an All-American NFL to walking up and down the road of this sport...winning achievements.

Dok: I just don't understand a man as fortunate enough as you living through an accident and being so bitter.

Brian Pillman: I'm not bitter, I'm blessed. There's a reason I'm here, there is a reason I didn't go down in the flames of that car wreckage...and now I'm here to seize it. Any more questions?

Dok: What might be your goals here in the WWF? Brian Pillman: What might be my goals? I go right to the top wherever I go. That obviously means I'm going to be wearing the World Wrestling Federation Championship around my waist unless the political hierarchy decides to subjugate me to their censorship which...

Gorilla: Well, you made alot of friends here today didn't you?

Brian Pillman: Well I don't need any friends.

Gorilla: Oh, I think you will.

Brian Pillman: I certainly don't need any friends like you.

Gorilla: I think you are mistaken, rudely mistaken.

Brian Pillman: All I need is myself.

Reporter: What about a manager Mr. Pillman? Do you need a manager? Do you have a manager?

Brian Pillman: What are you lookin' for work??

Reporter: I am just wondering how somebody controls you.

Brian Pillman: Nobody controls me. That's the legacy of Brian F'n Pillman. I DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT WHEN I WANT TO!!!

Reporter: Sir, you are out of control.

Brian Pillman: Whether you like it or not, no one's been able to shut me up yet. Now I stand here crippled and I got this bully Monsoon trying to get in my face..well you didn't do anything did you....Gorilla?

Gorilla: I don't attack cripples.

Brian Pillman: Well you're a real Gorilla aren't you? You're just a big teddy bear aren't you? I've had enough of this garbage. You can all go back to your 9-5 working class hero molds. I'm gonna get the @#$% out of here! GET THAT CAMERA OUT OF MY FACE!!

End of press conference.

Either this guy is a schizoid or a very clever manipulator - I suspect the latter.

Anyway, that's the way I see it...

Earl Oliver,
editor
Solie's Wrestling Newsletter


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This page is a personal tribute and is in no way connected to any of the wrestling promotions mentioned on it. It is dedicated to the Dean of Wrestling announcers, Gordon Solie.

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