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Solie's Tuesday Morning Report

Monday Night Wars Edition

Bret Hart Attacks Shawn Michaels

Volume 2, Issue 149 - March 24, 1997

Nitro Report

From the Deck in Deluth, MN

Larry "the Axe" Hennig is at ringside - I wonder what that means...probably just that Deluth is his home town.

Konan vs. Dean Malenko - US Title match - Dean has a bandage over his eye. Tony tells us that Macho Man Randy Savage will wrestle Prince Iaukea for the TV Title tonight. Malenko has his way with Konan to start things. Syxx interviewed in an inset says Eddie Guerrero "screwed thing up at SuperBrawl" - he is implying that Guerrero is somehow in cahoots with himself. In the ring Konan is coming back until he blows a move off the top rope and gets caught in the Texas Cloverleaf.

Malenko with Mean Gene - he reinforces the idea that Syxx just suggested. He then comments on Chris Benoit - he says they have a lot of mutual respect.

Review of Mortis/Glacier at Uncensored - including Brian Clarke's appearance.

Mortis (w/James Vandenberg) vs. Jerry Flynn - two martial artists. The match starts out pretty even. Mortis comes on strong and pummels his opponent in the corner. Then he showboats and gets caught but Flynn makes an error and loses the initiative again. Vandenberg gets involved (choking Flynn with his hankerchief) as Mortis distracts the referee. Moments later Mortis showboats again and is again upset. He has to regain some ground before he can go for his finisher - an off-the-second-rope Samoan drop he calls the "Flatliner". That's all she wrote...

LaParka vs. Juventud Guerrera - La Parks has changed his costume tonight, at least it seems that way until he takes off his ring attire. Guerrera is in all black for a change. LaParka seems a little over confident tonight. It seems unwarranted as Guerrera repeatedly cleans his clock. Still he comes back strong - taking advantage of his superior size to overpower the smaller man. Guerrera ends up on the outside and feels the pain of a suicide dive from his opponent. Back inside they go to the top. Juventud tries to get a Frankensteiner but the big guy blocks it. Then he turns it into a super powerbomb to get the pin.

Review of the Steiners' feud with the Outsiders.

The Steiners with Mean Gene - they vow revenge for all the injustices done them at the hands of the Outsiders. Rick denies that he has any health problems.

High Voltage vs. Public Enemy - High Voltage takes the early advantage by attacking on the bell. PE comes back and take control. Its mostly downhill from there for the boys from Anchorage. They make a short comeback but lose the advantage immediately. Kaos takes the table shot from Rocco Rock but Jeff Jarrett and Debra come out with the Haliburton case. While the ref is busy counting the guys on the outside - Jarrett lays out Johnny Grunge and then drags Rage over to cover him. High Voltage get a big win. Back in the aisle Mongo catches up with his wife and Jarrett and wants to know what he is being "set up" for...

Lex Luger and the Giant with Mean Gene - the Giant re-affirms his friendship for Luger regardles of the upcoming 4 Corners match where they could be pitted against each other. Luger echoes those sentiments.

Super Calo vs. Psychosis - Sonny Oono talks to Rey Misterio Jr. in an inset appropos of nothing... In the ring the match is even to start. After a bit Psychosis seems to be gaining ground. But Calo is a tough bird and holds his own for a while. Eventually Psychosis gets a big leg drop from the top to win the match.

Hour number two begins about 5 minutes early...

Review of events from the first hour - the Horsemen attack on Public Enemy.

Hugh Morrus (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Chris Benoit (w/o Woman) - they mention that Arn was attacked after his interview last week. Woman is at his side tonight as he goes in for neck surgery. Morrus takes command of the match from the beginning. The crowd is chanting "Horsemen! " as Benoit comes back with authority. He goes for the top rope but Konan runs in and shoves him off. Morrus gets the moonsault and the pin. Sullivan and Konan beat on Benoit - Dean Malenko comes down to help and gets punked. The DOD are really pounding on Benoit but then Ric Flair runs in and cleans house! He runs the thugs off with low blows left and right. The crowd goes wild...

The Faces of Fear vs. Harlem Heat - didn't we just see this match over the weekend? Booker T doesn't do to well at the beginning of this match. He gets beat on and dumped out of the ring. Back inside he recovers and almost gets a pin after a wheel kick. Stevie Ray is tagged in. He maintains the advantage then tags his brother back in. Booker goes for a side-kick but misses and lands straddling the top rope. Faces get the double head butt from the top. Now its all Faces. Booker is trying to come back but keeps getting caught. The crowd is chanting "Harlem Heat!!" Sherri distracts the referee while Stevie makes a non-tagged exchange. He gets a couple of blows in but soon is overwhelmed. He is getting it good when he gets whipped to the corner where Sherri has climbed to the apron. Stevie moves aside as Meng rushes in and hits Sherri - knocking her to the ground. Meng is stunned and gets rolled up and pinned.

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Ric Flair and Chris Benoit with Mean Gene - Benoit accuses Sullivan of being the one who attacked Arn at his hotel last week. Flair is still ragging on Piper.

Malia Hosaka vs. Medusa - finally she wrestles instead of just talks - Medusa starts aggressive - shoving her opponent around. Her opponent is formidable and shows that she isn't to be trifled with. She comes back with kicks and gets a Boston Crab. She lets up on it but continues to punish the back of Medusa. Medusa slips past a clothesline attempt and then follows it up with a bridge suplex to get the pin.

The Renegade vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggen - this match has got to be a joke...the combatents shake hands then Duggen throws his roll of tape away. After the second exchange Duggen turns his back and gets blindsided. The Warrior wannabe is doomed to failure regardless. It turns out Hacksaw has a second roll of tape and uses it...'nuff said. Duggen challanges Hogan after the match.

Video tribute to Sting - the montage includes a scene that I don't remember seeing previously showing Lex Luger embracing Sting and getting hugged in return.

The Amazing French Canadians vs. The Steiner Brothers - the Canadians want to sing their song but I don't think it will last. The Steiners let it go but they peter out anyway. Scotty comes on with a big suplex then Rick gets them both with a double clothesline. Scott goes out with Rougeau and gets slammed into the railing. Back inside they continue the assault but Rick gets into the battle and turns the tables. Both Steiners are in for a bit pounding on their opponents then Scott is dumped out again. The Canadians attempt a double team using Col. Parker's boot but Carl hits Jaques instead of Rick. Rick drops down for the pin.

NWO music plays - here come the clowns. Nash leans into the camera and says "Right back at yuh, HBK!" Hogan is not present neither is Scott Hall. The thugs pile into the ring to await the arrival of the TV champ. Iuakea makes his entrance seemingly oblivious until he looks into the ring. The NWO surrounds the ring as the match begins. The Prince is holding his own pretty well until he goes for a body block and Savage ducks out of the way. He creams the champ and then gets the elbow drop but pulls his opponent up instead of pinning him. Diamond Dallas Page comes flying to ringside and attacks the thugs. He gets dragged into the ring and powerbombed by Nash. The Prince is also powerbombed. The thugs hold DDP so Biscoff can deliver a karate kick. Then they paint both of the WCW guys. The only bright note here is that the Prince keeps his Title...

RAW is WAR Report

Mankind is announced as the top contender for the WWF Title - don't understand why...

The Headbangers vs Owen Hart/British Bulldog - Tag Team Title Match - the Champs are trying to upstage each other as they come to the ring. Owen starts out with Mosh and has the advantage through most of his tour. Bulldog tagged in he puts the Headbanger down and launches Owen onto him. As the match goes on the Bangers develop a decided edge but the champs keep coming back. In the middle of the match Owen seemingly accidently brains his partner. The Bulldog rolls out to confront him, they argue and Owen walks away! He's leaving the ring area as we cut to commercial.

We come back and the Bulldog is getting creamed. Owen has returned to the ring but he's being singularly uncooperative about helping his partner. After ignoring a tag he finally gets in the second time around. He gets in a few shots then tags his worse-for-wear partner back in. They are still arguing. The Bulldog returns the favor. Thing continue to disinigrate as they end up arguing about tactics. They shove the ref out of their way and that ends the match. The Headbangers leave in disgust - their Title hopes shattered. Meanwhile the Champs have started to brawl and have to be separated by officials. Owen grabs a mic and Challanges the Bulldog for his Eyropean Title. Bulldog accepts the challange but says it is the only shot Owen will get so he better make it good. So much for the Championship Tag Team.

Mankind makes a statement. He says he can beat the Undertaker, that in less than a month he will be the WWF Champion but "Uncle Paul" has left him. Cut to commercial.

Bart Gunn vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley - first lets hear from Bret Hart - he demands to have as much time as he needs to express his feelings. Oh, I guess it's going to happen later... so lets have the match - no lets get some stills from last night's match - okay, now we get the match - Hunter takes a few shots and then takes over - we listen to Goldust express his anguish over the injuries sustained by his wife last night. He and HHH will have a match next week on RAW - Chyna and Marlena will not be there for this one. Oh yeah...the match - its kind of boring anyway. Hunter is plodding along in his usual fashion. He finally gets caught in a mistake and Bart gets in some licks until Chyna pulls down the top rope and he goes tumbling out to the floor. She scoops him up and slams him. attack again as soon as Bart takes his attention ramming him into the ringpost for good measure. The groggy Bart rolls back into the ring and gets the dropped on his face.

Slammy awards review (yawn...)

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Three bizarrely dressed Mexican wrestlers are in the ring as we return. They are sooned joined by three more equally weird looking guys. A six man tag match ensues which I won't even try to describe. Suffice to say they are flying all over the place missing each other about as often as they connect. The announcers aren't trying to call the action either. The match ends when the guy in the powder blue tights pins one of his opponents in a copy of Rey Misterio's standard ending - a flying springboard Frankensteiner into a roll-up pin. Bret Hart is impatiently waiting to get his time on the air.

In a taped interview Rocky Johnson tells his son that he came to the arena to surprise him last night and that he didn't mean to get involved in the match. He promises to never do it again.

Flash Funk vs. The Brooklyn Brawler - we haven't seen Steve Lombardi in quite a while. Not that he's been missed, the guy is a perpetual jobber. He's a tough customer but has no finess - Flash handles him fairly easily. We hear that Ken Shamrock is in the house and will be back for an interview after the commercial.

Shamrock says he stopped the match last night because Austin was unconscience although he never did concede defeat. He says that Steve Austin is one of the toughest guys he's ever seen. Bret Hart is shown pacing in the backstage area. He will be allowed to speak after the commercial.

The second hour begins with a repeat of the opening montage

Bret Hart makes his way to the ring. He takes the mic from JR. He starts by apologising to his fans all over the world (except for the USA). He says even though he beat up Austin and won the match - he feels like he lost. He maintains that he was screwed out of the Title by HBK last year at WrestleMania XII - he accuses Michaels of posing for "Gay Magazines". He goes through the litany of his complaints. He says that Monsoon and McMahon begged him to come back after he "Quit". He implies that Michaels faked his knee injury to avoid facing him for the Title. He talks about the Royal Rumble, the Final Four match, and the cage match with Sycho Sid. He's pissed about it all, he says American heroes are people like Charles Manson and O.J. Simpson. He concludes that the American wrestling fans don't respect him - so he has decided that he doesn't respect them and they can kiss his "bleep" (all the profanity gets cut in this broadcast).

Shawn Michaels comes to the ring with his own mic. He tells Bret that he (Michaels) can admit his faults and doesn't have to obsess about everything. He stands up for freedom of expression and the First Amendment. He concludes by offering Bret a match right now. He drags out the old chestnut "America, love it or leave it."

Bret advises to Shawn to get out of his face. Shawn decides to dig the barb in a little deeper then turns his back. Bret attacks and wraps Michaels' legs around the ring post then slaps on that figure four like he did to Austin last night. The officials are trying to pry them apart and having no success until Sid comes down. Bret releases the hold and retreats up the aisle. He starts to come back but stops - flips Sid the bird and then stalks away. In the ring Michaels is in a lot of pain. Cut to commercial.

We review the events just before the commercial

Rocky Maivia vs. ? - they cut to commercial before we find out who the opponent is.

Leif Cassidy is the opponent - the match is in progress as we return. Uh oh - here comes Bret again. He goes to the broadcast booth and and starts whining again. We see Michaels being helped away from the arena. They are ignoring the match as Vince exoriates Bret for "flushing his legacy down the toilet". Rocky wins it then Bret says that he will "show them bad" and goes to the ring and attacks Maivia. He works some on the kids leg but then cuts off the attack and leaves. The Undertaker is due out in a while - I'm sure we haven't see the last of Bret tonight...

We hear that Faarooq has been injured (separated shoulder, punctured lung) as the match between Savio Vega and Ahmed Johnson gets underway. Vega attacks fast and assumes control of the match. Eventually he drops his head too soon and Ahmed comes back. But he can't sustain his attack and loses the initiative once more. They continue to brawl and Ahmed turns the tables once more. He drops Savio onto the top rope then rushes him taking them both over to the floor. Vega lands on Ahmed's leg and Johnson seems to be feeling it as we cut to commercial.

Savio is back in control as we return. The NOD are keeping their distance as this goes on. Things soon change to a see-saw condition - they are trading the advantage until Vega gets a sleeper on. For some reason he releases it and Ahmed gets a chokeslam then a spine buster. He's about to put on a Pearl River Plunge when the NOD finally come down and pull Savio to safety.

Ahmed challanges the NOD to pick a member for him to wrestle in a "loser leaves town" match. Meaning the entire NOD leaves the WWF if Ahmed wins the match. They don't respond but I suppose they are stupid enough to think about it...cut to commercial.

Vince introduces the Undertaker by saying "Won't you please welcome me comes the Undertaker" What a slick guy...

UT is back in his leather outfit for the occasion. He calls these the "dark days of the World Wrestling Federation" and refers to himself as "the Knight" who will defend "the creatures" against anyone. Paul Bearer approaches the ring. He says "if you still feel the need to beat me up I guess you will have to do what you have to do..." he goews into a concilliatory speech but is interrupted by Mankind and the clock. Fade to black...

A very strange program indeed...

Anyway, that's the way I see it...

Earl Oliver,
editor Solie's Wrestling Newsletter

Bret Hart's Weekly Column The Calgary Sun has started publishing Bret Hart's column on line so rather than continue to summarize it here from now on I will be putting this link to it so you can go peruse it for yourselves.

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This page is a personal tribute and is in no way connected to any of the wrestling promotions mentioned on it. It is dedicated to the Dean of Wrestling announcers, Gordon Solie.

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Copyright 1996 - Jump City Productions