A special - 1 hour program because of the NBA Playoffs.
We open with a montage of Ric Flair taking it to Vader to win the WCW Championship a couple of years ago. Then we cut to the present as The Fogies come to the broadcast booth and call Hall and Nash out for a match.
Prince Iaukea vs. Dean Malenko - US Title match - the Prince makes the mistake of trying to wrestle the Champ. Of course that could be because Malenko does a great job of grounding the high-flyer. The Champion retains by way of a Texas Cloverleaf submission.
Juventud Guerrera vs. Syxx - it is good to see at least one of the "SuperStar" members of the nWo actually wrestling. This match finally gives the lie to the numerous emails I have received from people insisting that Guerrera and Waltman are one in the same. Seeing them together points out that Guerrera is a much smaller man then Syxx, who uses his superior size to good advantage here. For his part Juventud gives a good account of himself but can't quite stay head of the game. Syxx gets a legitimate STF submission victory without any outside help. Buzz-killer indeed...
Road Report - then the nWo makes its appearance. They take the broadcast position by intimidation. Hall, Nash and Syxx. The "Click" has arrived...They answer Flair's challange. "Whatever...nobody cares what you guys have to say..." Nash unleashes every known nWo slogan ending with "...too sweet" - I can't believe it...even Hall and Nash are getting stale... They end up demanding 75% of the gate to wrestle The Fogies.
Lord Steven Regal vs. Chris Benoit - this should have been a very high caliber match. Instead they go at it pretty pedestrian for about 3 minutes then Sullivan and company come down and make a shambles out of it. Benoit is taken out of the ring by Sullivan. When Chris turns the tables he ends up with Jaquelyn on his back, Nancy pulling her off, Jimmy Hart gets between the women as Meng runs-in and puts a nerve hold on Benoit. Regal runs in to help Benoit but Meng just kicks him off. He continues to apply the hold as Nancy screams at her husband to "make him stop..!" She then turns and says something to Meng, who breaks off immediately and stares at her like he's seeing a ghost. Jimmy cajoles Meng away as Nancy attends her fallen man. Cut to commercial.
Randy Savage nWo rant directed at DDP. It is a parody of Hollywood Hogan's spots. Savage has been doing this "Hogan Junior" act for years...when are they going to start posing together in the ring again...?
Lex Luger/the Giant vs. The Amazing French Jobbers (...can anyone remember the last time this team won a match..?) They always hold their own because they have extraordinary teamwork but this match is typical of their record in WCW. They dominate the action until they try to double team the Giant. He puts them both down with a shrug then Luger runs in for the double-chokeslam-backbreaker finish. Silly match...
Steve McMichael vs. The Barbarian - I can't imagine how Mongo could win this one. It looks like my feeling is correct as McMichael takes it all through this match. Mongo is much improved of late but...come on... Of course there is always one way he can win..."Debra, hand me my briefcase please..." Something tells me Reggie White is in for a face full of Haliburton. Cut to commercial.
Ric Flair and Roddy Piper approach the ring microphone in hand. Flair rants "Norfolk, Virginia we are live..." He calls the nWo out. After a delay that funky music plays. Then it stops - nobody's coming... Suddenly the arena is inundated with leaflets. "Tradition bites! nWo for Life!" they say. Then the music starts again. Nash, Hall and Syxx show up and head on down. Syxx goes ahead and is met by Flair in the aisle. They scuffle, then Hall and Nash attack. Flair does his usual move (these days) he low-blows Nash and then blocks Halls punch and downs him. He puts a figure four on Syxx. Hall and Nash attack again and are beating up on Flair as Piper stands in the ring. Flair starts calling for Piper. Roddy finally wades into the frey just as we fade to black...
Live from Omaha, Nebraska
Bret and Steve show montage. Shawn Michaels comes to the rescue of Austin. Bret gets his ankle (oh yeah - and his wrist too...) crunched. That Steve Austin is one tough SOB...yatta yatta...
Big blastoff opener...it takes about a dozen vamps on the theme before Vinnie finally introduces Brian Pillman who comes to the ring with a new - very tense feeling, hard rock theme music. He says he's actually very religious - he describes the nightmares he has had over his attack on Steve Austin last week. He asks the crowd to join him in prayer...? He prays for Bret Hart's speedy recovery, for forgiveness for us sinners who enjoyed all the violence last week and finally for Steve Austin to be struck down by a lightning bolt or something...Stone Cold interrupts this drivel with some drivel of his own. Pillman shows him his a$$. That gets Steve out to the ring. The Harts emerge from under the ring but fail to cut him off. He back pedals. Brian still has the mic. He invites his "brothers" to pray and they do in the middle of the ring. Davy prays for Bret's recovery, Owen wants everyone to pray for his brother and adds that they should pray for Steve Austin as well...Austin runs in with an axe handle and chases them off...
We are told that Bret Hart is on his way to the arena, that Maivia will defend against Owen and that the Undertaker will face the British Bulldog in a non-title match later (and by the way - Austin will be around all evening). Cut to commercial
Pillman is still praying for Bret in the locker room as we return. This is certainly going to offend someone...
Rockabilly w/HTM vs. Flash Funk - Funk outwrestles and outflies his man until Honky starts distracting him. Once Billy gets the advantage he is effective at keeping it. We see Bret Hart arriving by ambulance. The announcers are busy reminding us how tense the situation is rather than covering the match. In the midst of their revery Billy makes a mistakes and clobbers his manager. In the confusion he gets rolled up and pinned. Honky confronts Flash - distracting him again - Billy hits him with the guitar and they put the boots to him. Several referees pull them off. We see Bret being wheeled in a wheelchair by his brother and brother-in-law. Cut to commercial.
Vince rather elaborately introduces Bret - they show video of the surgery procedure. Bret appears on the ramp in his wheelchair. He says he approves of Brian's prayer vigil. He calls himself a Lion and Austin a hyena - then he calls the fans a pack of hyenas. He uses "lousy stinking..." a lot. It degenerates into his standard anti-US Wrestling fans rant...please spare me... "I'm the best etc. etc." He reminds us that his mother is an American. He threatens Steve Austin and Shawn Michaels with bodily harm tonight.
Cut to promo - Henry Godwin is said to have broken his neck on Shotgun Saturday Night - Steve Austin still has the axe handle and he's looking for the First Aid room...cut to commercial.
The Road Warriors make their entrance as we return to face Furnas and LaFon. The latter are interviewed on tape and make a new heelish attitude evident. Why am I reminded of the Quebecers?? Vince is telling us that Henry Godwin will be back soon - so which is it Vince..? The Burger King is equally confused..."...back?? From a broken neck..?" The match is pretty much all LOD, except for scattered flurries the "International Stars" are hardly evident in the match. They manage to break up the usual Warriors' finish but get beat just the same.
They do their best Bret Hart crybaby routine...
Sunny comes out to hawk Austin 3:16 T-shirts...
Vince questions Ahmed Johnson about the fact that the Sultan had to go to the hospital last week - he apologizes to the fans then throws a hissy fit. Pillman is praying with both of Owen's Slammies in his hands...cut to commercial.
Bret Hart's music plays - but it's Owen who is up next to wrestle Rocky Maivia for the Intercontinental Title - He dedicates the match to his brother. The match is competitive but not spectacular. After some preliminary skirmishes Owen levers the Champ out to the floor and then goes to work. Back in the ring he slaps on a reverse chin lock. Rocky fights out of it so Owen goes to work on the legs. Rocky fights out again but gets put down via the now-injured left knee. He goes for a Sharp-Shooter but Maivia breaks it up with a handfull of hair. Owen misses a DDT and both men are down. Rocky comes back soonest but Owen turns the tables on him. He climbs to the top but Rocky is right behind him. Belly to back Super-plex (ouch!) Rocky fails at a pin. He tries another move but Hart gets behind him and rocks him back into a pinning combination. Owen is the new IC Champ.
The Harts celebrate Owens victory leading to the next commercial. Meanwhile, Steve Austin is wheeling around in a wheelchair of his own.
It's Austin time! He comes through the crowd and brings his axe handle and his wheelchair. He interviews himself he's threatens bodily harm right back - to the whole bunch of them. He then declares himself the next WWF Champion, after he "...kicks the Undertaker's a$$" - Bret Hart comes on the monitor to threaten some more...please could we go to a commercial..?
Vader is warming up in the back as we return. Lets go look at Ken Shamrock. The former UFC champion confesses that the WWF will be his biggest challange...we get to meet his family...how sweet...
Double J pantomimes his way too the ring (thankfully the PA has gone out so we can't here him lip synch) Vader is the opponent. Squash time... The guy in the funny outfit has about 45 seconds of fame then the slaughter begins. Double Job double jobs - first he gets splashed then he gets bombed.
Vader w/Jim Ross - he has no regrets about his misadventures in Kuwait. Ross presses him on over-reacting during the TV interview that got him in trouble. Vader has him by the collar when Shamrock grabs him from behind and suplexes Vader. He rants as Vader retreats. Goldust is seen preparing his make-up - he's arguing with Marlena about whether she should accompany him to the ring to face Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Cut to commercial.
HHH is in the ring as we return. We await the Golden One. Dustin storms the ring without waiting for his introduction. He goes right to work then pins Hunter in the corner to pound on him. He does his "machinations" and then kisses his opponent. Moments later Hunter turns things around. He dumps Goldust to the outside where Chyna gets a chance to do her Jaquelyn impression. Marlena shows up but his cut off by a referee. He stays between the two women while Hunter dumps his opponent back into the ring. Cut to commercial.
Hunter is still in charge as we return but soon gives up the advantage. He goes down as Chyna is menacing Marlena. Goldust gets between them but Chyna sidesteps him and backs into Marlena who throws powder in her face!! Hunter is counted out while Chyna has him by the throat over her head...
The Undertaker makes a video wall appearance. He promises to make Steve Austin "Rest in Peace"
Sable comes down to sell the latest Untertaker T-shirt
Brian is praying for the Bulldog now...cut to commercial.
Austin is still pacing backstage somewhere as the Harts come down for Davey Boy's match. Bret and Owen stick to the entryway. Davey dedicates the match to Bret and says he's going to be the new WWF Champ (this is a non-title match). The Undertaker enters and the match begins almost immediately. He dominates the opening moments until the next commercial.
Undertaker is still in charge as we return but Owen runs-in and causes the disqualification. They double-team the dead man until Steve Austin shows up with his axe handle to even the odds. Afterwards Austin goes out for the WWF Belt and displays it like he won it or something. The Undetaker is understandably miffed - they face off and Austin gets the drop on UT with a Stunner. But then he leans over to taunt the big guy and gets caught in a chokehold. Undertaker makes it to his feet and chokeslams his nemesis.
Austin rolls outside and turns his attention to Bret who is still sitting in his wheelchair up on the ramp. Bret sees him coming and gets out of the chair. Austin pulls the chair away and threatens Bret. Then Jim Neidhart, looking big as a house attacks and levels Austin. He is escorted away. As Austin gets up and turns around, Bret whacks him with one of his crutches causing Austin to fall off of the ramp. Neidhart helps Bret leave while the paramedics are loading Steve onto a stretcher. We get a look at Pillman's satisfied, maniacal countenance as we fade to black...
Well, that was a fun show...
Anyway, that's the way I see it...
editor Solie's Wrestling Newsletter
Bret Hart's Weekly Column The Calgary Sun has started publishing Bret Hart's column on line so rather than continue to summarize it here from now on I will be putting this link to it so you can go peruse it for yourselves.
(Editor's Note: If you have found anything thats been said here to be particularly offensive please read this disclaimer. If you'd like to correspond with me personally please e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org).
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