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Solie's Tuesday Morning Report

Monday Night Wars Edition

Volume 2, Issue 171 - May 12, 1997

Nitro Report

The program opens with Michael Buffer in the ring announcing "Lets get ready to ruuuuumble!!!" Randy Savage comes down with Liz and without crutches. He grabs the mic and starts to rant. He says he is healed. He claims DDP attacked him from behind last week. He calls Page out - of course we all know that DDP was really injured last week - we won't see him tonight. Tony tells us that Eric Bischoff is planning to interview Sting on the program.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Ultimo Dragon w/Sonny Onoo - TV Title match - Lord Regal is interviewed in the back as they approach the ring. He promises to get the TV belt back on Sunday. Meanwhile the two high-flyers go at it. Juventud takes the early advantage. But then the Dragon goes into his kicking machine act and turns the tables. Juventud comes right back and this becomes a see-saw affair. All the announcers seem to care about is that Sting interview later (which I doubt will actually happen). On the outside Sonny Onoo distracts Guerrera with a few well placed karate kicks and finally the Dragon takes a definite advantage. He wins it (after a spinning Frankensteiner off the top) with a Dragon Sleeper.

Mean Gene w/the Fogies team - Flair/Piper and Greene - Greene promises the nWo to "break my foot off in your a$$..." Flair says his piece (very little actually) Piper compares himself to a dinosaur (seems apt...). Oh, I see - he means a T-Rex. Hall, Nash and Syxx interrupt to taunt them. What a waste of time...cut to commercial.

Steve "Mongo" McMichael (w/Jeff Jarrett and Debra) vs. Dean Malenko - Mongo uses his superior power pretty effectively in this one. Malenko fells him with a drop-kick to the knee. But he doesn't stay down. Meanwhile Jarrett is providing distraction from the outside. During the next exchange the referee gets felled by Malenko's flailing boot as Mongo scoops him up. Here comes Reggie White - he jumps up on the apron. Jarrett grabs his leg then Mongo drags him into the ring. Steve tries a whip but White reverses it, clotheslines him coming out of th corner than throws a rather clumsy splash that looks like it may have done some real damage (he didn't get the stop leverage at all). He does a celebratory dance then turns around to confront Jarrett who is on the apron. White shoves him to the floor then goes outside. In the ring Malenko is rolling McMichaels up for a pin. The crowd chants "Reggie!! Reggie!!" as Malenko leaves the ring area.

Mean Gene w/Reggie White - White tells Mongo to lay off the fans and promises to continue Greenbay's winning ways against Chicago on Sunday. Cut to commercial.

Scotty Riggs vs. "The Wrath" (w/Mortis and James Vandenberg) - this is the mystery man as portrayed by Brian Clarke (I believe I got that right) over the last few weeks. This is his first scheduled match since he started interfering in Glacier's matches and it's squash city from the get-go. The former Adam Bomb makes short work of the American Male.

Glacier's music and lights fire up and he appears on the ramp. Cut to commercial.

Hug Morrus/Konan vs. Alex Wright/Ice Train - This could be a great match - three of these guys are genuine talents. Ice Train is a big goof but he does have a lot of power. It looks like we are seeing young Herr Wright's anticipated heel turn as he abandons his partner to a doubleteam attack at the beginning of the match. Ice Train holds his own and then Alex is ready to tag in. He lays some effective blows on Morrus but is demonstrating a tendancy to showboat. As soon as Morrus starts coming back he bails - tagging in Ice Train who is distracted by something happening in the crowd. Morrus drags him into the ring and destroys him handily. Meanwhile Wright is on the floor posing and strutting. The Train fights his way back to the advantage then tries to tag in Wright who feigns a knee injury and refuses the tag. While they discuss it, Konan clips Ice Train's knee from behind ala SCSA. Wright leaves the ring area as the DOD'ers finish off his partner and win the match by submission. He is up the aisle dancing and complimenting himself on his great body. This is reminiscent of Rick Martel's turn on Tito Santana a few years back...I wonder if he'll show up with a perfume atomizer..? Let's go sell something...

Review of the nWo attack on the Page's is interrupted to go back stage. We see members of the nWO (looked like Nash and Syxx) in burglar's masks (handkerchiefs over their noses) leaving the area in a hurry - in their wake, Roddy Piper is writhing on the floor yelling and holding his left (previously injured) leg. The thugs have struck again. Cut to commercial.

Eric Bischoff comes out to the nWo music. He's doing his usual "I love you guys..." schtick. He enters the ring and continues his routine. He is pretending to wipe tears from his eyes as he begins his rant. He says he is going to interview Sting. He wants to know where Sting was last week when they (the nWo) called him out. Sting's music plays and Stink (nWO Sting) comes out with a bat. Bischoff pretend that this is the real Sting and puts the question too him (to paraphrase) "Isn't it true that people compare you to Hollywood Hogan and that and you know you will never measure up to him?" At this the real Sting finally shows up. He comes into the ring with his own bat. He and Stink face off - Stink cowers and then gets dropped on his head. Eric flees as Sting mounts the corner. Fade to black...

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Except for the Fogie stuff, Bischoff seems to be making pretty good use of the limited time format. The nWo storyline is getting weirder and weirder...

RAW Report

RAW is dedicated to the memory of Rose Anderson this evening.

Vinnie Mac reviews some of the matches from last night using still images from the PPV. He ends up emphasising that Steve Austin has a particular grudge against Brian Pillman.

The Hart Foundation comes down to open the program. He rants about how good his stable is. He introduces them individually and declares "We are the Hart Foundation". He says people call him a bad guy - but they (the audience) are the bad guys. He rants a while about Steve Austin - the usual "you cheer for a stinkin' rotton hyena, yatta yatta..." The crowd starts chanting "Austin! Austin!" He calls Austin a loser...whatever...the Harts show off their gold...he says he is going to announce something that will be a shock to everybody...the audience starts chanting "Go Home! Go Home!" - he tells them to shut up - then he leaves. JR tells us that Savio Vega will face the Undertaker in a non-title match later.

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Hunter Hearst Helmsley (w/Chynna) vs. Ahmed Johnson - King of the Ring Tournament - 1st round match - Hunter makes his way to the ring then we cut to commercial. I will go out on a limb and predict right now that Austin will win the KOR for the second year running - it's the only thing that makes sense after his failure to capture the WWF Title last night (unless they give a re-match for the Championship at KOR). We learn that the King is also in the Tournament and he has a shocking announcement to make as well...

Ahmed makes his entrance as we return - he looks as out of sorts as he usually does. Hunter tries a frontal attack to little effect to open the contest. Johnson just shrugs him off and starts pummeling him. Helmsley ducks away from a corner shot and Ahmed pretends to ram the ring post (although the camera angle reveals that he stopped his progress by grabbing the ring ropes). Hunter does his thing for about a minute before Johnson shakes it off and gets a spine-buster. He bulls the blueblood into a corner as Chynna runs in and hits him with a chair. Hunter is disqualified and rolls out of the ring. They flee up the aisle with Ahmed in hot pursuit. He catches them on the top of the ramp (where the lights are just right) and starts pummeling Hunter again. Chynna piles on and the officials have to try and break it up. Cut to Sunny in a Super Soaker commercial. I wonder if we'll start seeing her commercials on the WCW weekend shows (this is one of their regular sponsors).

Stone Cold stalks down to the ring with a scowl on his face and a crutch in his hand.. He is probably the only one I can think of who is more bad tempered than Ahmed Johnson (maybe Faarooq). Vince starts kissing up to him but he nips that in the bud. He invites Bret Hart to "...roll on down" and take his crutch back. He rants about the Harts - compares them to a snake. Vince is smirking...Austin says you got to cut the head off a snake - but he's going to start out with the snake's a$$ (that's Pillman). He talks about carrying Pillman "in the bush leagues..."

Leif Cassidy vs. Scott Putski - the Polish Power's son makes his WWF debut tonight. We get some vintage footage of his father before he makes his entrance. Al Snow gets to demonstrate some of his formidable wrestling skills here - also his ability to sell an inferior opponent. JR is talking about seeing some more of these "light heavyweights" The Putski kid is enthusiatic and very strong - but that's about it as far as I can see. Nonetheless, after a second over-the-head suplex, he gets the pin. The match is puncuated by an inside-to-out attack by Snow who gets his can kicked a second time. He then goes over the the broadcast position and tells Jim Ross "I won!!!" Ross calls him " idiot." Cut to the Road Warriors who promise to treat the NOD like "...two defenseless animals" charming...that match is next - but this...

LOD makes their entrance as we return. NOD raps it's way to the ramp. We don't know yet who will be the opponents. They confer on the ramp then decide to send down PG-13 to take the licking. This is a silly match. The Warriors make mincemeat out of the competition. Hawk lets them get a spiked piledriver on him then gets right up and continues the slaughter. They put both guys down and Hawk covers them both at the same time to get the pin. NOD leaves their sacrificial lambs behind.

We see Mankind backstage with a man in a complete head bandage - Uncle Paul apparently...cut to commercial.

Mankind's music plays - JR says Foley has an announcement to make. Everybody else is doing it so why not? Mankind says he meant to permanently scar the Undertaker but failed. He calls UT a coward for attacking Paul Bearer. He wants to bring "Uncle Paul" out but asks the crowd to show some respect and compassion for his manager. Bearer declares that the "bond" between him and the Undertaker is severed - then he offers UT "one more chance" to come back to him - he talks about a secret that he will reveal unless the Undertaker comes around. He talks about the grave of UT's mother and father and implies that the secret has something to do with them. Cut to commercial.

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NOD makes another appearance as we return - Faarooq enters the ring. Vinnie waits to interview him. He refers to Faarooq as the number one contender for the WWF Title (why would that be? He hasn't had a match with anyone lately except the one last night - hasn't he been on the injured list?) He claims the WWF is racist because there has never been a black WWF Champion (true fact Ron Simmons was the first black NWA Champion) We learn that he is to face the Undertaker for the Title at King of the Ring.

Savio Vega vs. The Undertaker - the rest of the NOD occupy the ring as the Undertaker's music starts. The lights go he comes right down the aisle and into the lion's den...the thugs scatter. Undertaker takes his time disrobing as his opponent confers with his cohoorts on the outside. Cut to commercial.

The match is underway as we come back. Savio is getting his clock cleaned. UT is showing the effects of his match from last night...moving somewhat gingerly on his injured knee. Savio turns the tables by focusing on it. Then he gets behind UT on the turnbuckle and uses UT's own hair to strangle him. Ut throws him to the mat but Savio comes right back. Its near the end now though - moments later Savio gets chokeslammed. As UT goes for the Tombstone the thugs attack. The fall on him in a pack then Faarooq signals them to let him take care of it himself. He loses that inclination as soon as the Undertaker does his pop-up schtick. The dogs fall on him again then Faarooq gets Savio's belt and starts whipping the mat next to the Undertaker's body - it looks almost as fake as when Ahmed was supposedly pounding on Faarooq with his 2X4 a few weeks ago... Faarooq retreives the Title belt and displays it to the crowd just before we cut to commercial.

Robb Van Damm vs a jobber - Lawler takes over the mic and introduces Van Damm as an ECW expatriate - this is Lawlers surprise apparently. Van Damm kicks his opponent out of the ring and then throws a planche - manages to hang himself up on the railing and takes a pretty good bump. Back in the ring he makes short work his opponent. They are calling him "Mr. Monday Night".

Part 2 of the Goldustin interview - he says he just wants to have some fun with his character and entertain the people. He says something at one point about hoping that "when I'm 70 years" that his daughter will still feel that she can come sit in his lap (lets see - he's in his twenties now so when he's 70 she will be in her 40's...) He sheds a tear as he talks about how he looked up to his father who never had the time for him...this is really tacky. Vinnie just doesn't know when to back off apparently...he'll do anything to stick it to the competition - it wasn't bad enough that he made Rhodes wear polka dots when he was in the WWF...mercifully it ends. Cut to commercial.

JR interviews the Undertaker on the TitanTron. He wants to know how UT feels after the attack earlier - he ignores the question and tells Paul Bearer to keep his mouth shut. Then he threatens Faarooq - says he will unleash a demon to help him against the NOD (Papa Shango anyone..?)

Furnas/LaFon vs Headbangers vs Black Jacks vs Owen/Bulldog - 4 corners match - this one goes pretty fast - LaFon is pinned by Windham to eliminate that team first. Moments later we go to commercial.

The New Black Jacks have been eliminated during the break. Owen gets hurled face first into an exposed turnbuckle and almost pinned. Bulldog comes in against Mosh and dominates until Thrasher gets a boot in during a whip. They double team the Tag Champ in their corner. Something is going on back in the locker room - something to do with Bret Hart but we don't get to see it yet. In the ring Davey Boy is taking it. Owen gets in and takes over on Mosh. Gets a Sharpshooter but Thrasher breaks that up. All four me are in now. The Headbangers have their opponents in opposite corners - they go for the double whip and get reversed. Owen places a boot while the Bulldog powerslams his opponent and gets the pin. Here comes Bret and the rest...lets go sell something.

The Harts are in the ring as we return - Bret tells the crowd to shut-up - so they make more noise. He tells his pals to go back to the locker room and leave him alone in the ring. He then tells Austin to stay away or face the consequences. He then says he wants Shawn Michaels to come out. Calls him a "gutless little poser..." He calls him out - the HBK theme plays and Shawn comes out to the ring. Bret tells him that he hates his guts and rants for a while about all the things that make him sick about the Boy Toy. He compares him to the WWF fans - rotton to the core...he calls Michaels scum to his face. Shawn stands stone-faced through this tirade. He rants right to the end of the program...(Ross says they will keep the cameras rolling) fade to black.

The Hart Foundation storyline is getting weirder and weirder...and why would Faarooq be deemed the top contender for the WWF Title..?

Anyway, that's the way I see it...

Earl Oliver,
editor Solie's Wrestling Newsletter

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This page is a personal tribute and is in no way connected to any of the wrestling promotions mentioned on it. It is dedicated to the Dean of Wrestling announcers, Gordon Solie.

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Copyright 1997 - Jump City Productions