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Solie's Tuesday Morning Report

Monday Night Wars Edition
Dude Love Returns!!!

Volume 2, Issue 195 - July 14, 1997

Here is an email I recieved from a reader who identified himself as "Hobie"

I thought you might want to pass this on to your readers who have c-band systems - they can catch uswa&ecw wrestling every sat on spacenet 3 channel 24 USWA at 6pm & ECW follows at 7pm est time zones all in the clear on "America One Network" from the (A-1's Wrestling Enquirer)

Nitro Report

Live from Orlando, Florida - Michael Buffer introduces the program

Kimberly introduces a bunch of beautiful women - damned if I know what's going on... They're doing a dance routine in the ring with an equal number of folding chairs. Mrs. Page seems rather chipper considering what happened to her man last night.

Tony says they were the "Nitro Girls" - I guess we can expect to see "RAW Girls" soon on USA...

They show us right off the bat that it wasn't Sting at the Bash last night but Kevin Nash in disguise. Tony also tells us that Ric Flair will face Jeff Jarrett later this evening.

Alex Wright vs. Prince Iaukea - we haven't seen the former TV Champ in a while. Wright welcomes him back with a slap to start the match. He then overpowers the Prince and then stops to dance. As the Prince makes his comeback the Giant comes down and enters the ring. The referee tries to interfere with him and gets chokeslammed! The Prince is next - Wright decides that descretion is the better part of valor and splits. Security guys come in and get chokeslammed one at a time. The Giant gets a mic and calls Kevin Nash out after stating that he knows it wasn't Sting who attacked him last night. By now Doug Dellenger and his big boys have arrived - they are reasoning with the Giant in the ring as we cut to commercial.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.- this is a result of Eddie's actions last week during their tag match against Norton and Bagwell. Chavo is fired up and takes the early advantage. Eddie goes to the outside and ends up on the receiving end of a suicide dive which puts them both down. Back in the ring Eddie takes over and punishes his nephew viciously. Chavo comes back with a Northern Lights suplex and almost gets a pin. Then he gets another suplex, slams his man and goes up for a Frog Splash but gets a stomach full of knees. Eddie returns the favor and gets the pin - then he goes up and does him again. Hector comes out to protect his nephew and gets shoved on his can. Eddie leaves to the jeers of the crowd.

Mean Gene w/Diamond Dallas Page and Kimberly - he questions them about the doings last night. DDP says he met Curt Hennig at a bar in Minniappolis six months ago. They hit it off and DDP decided to ask him to be his partner. He vows to get even with Hennig. Cut to commercial.

Mean Gene w/ Harlem Heat - they say they plan to "Whup" Hall and Nash tonight during a non-title match in the second hour.

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Buff Bagwell/Scott Norton (w/Vincent) vs. the Steiner Brothers - Bagwell is all ego - this guy is cruisin' for a bruisin'. Every time he hits a move he stops to pose. Scotty wipes the smile off his face with a clothesline. He follows up with a barrage that leaves Bagwell prostrate on the floor. We see a limo out back - Konan gets out followed by the Wolf Pack. Nash is limping and holding his back. Back in the ring the Steiners are taking their opponents apart. Norton turns a move by Rick into a DDT and turns the tables. Bagwell takes over working on the Dogface Gremlin. Rick turns the tables with a belly over suplex. Both nWo'ers get suplexed repeatedly until Chono and Muta show up to overwhelm them. The bell rings signalling a DQ. The Steiners turn the table and fight off all five of their opponents. Cut to commercial.

Mean Gene shows us his interview with Raven last night. He then approaches Raven at ringside again. Raven is equally cryptic tonight. Stevie Richards starts to say " said if I signed the contract with WCW..." Raven spits in his face and then shoves him down.

Chris Benoit vs. Mike Enos - the Wolverine is his usual intense self tonight. He tears into his opponent but gets distracted by the ref and Enos gets a chance to get in some licks. He gets a fall away slam off the second rope then continues to pound on Benoit. A reverse neck breaker gets him a two count. He gets another pin attempt then slaps on a bear hug. Benoit escapes but then comes off the rope and gets caught in a powerslam. Finally he capitalizes on a mistake and gets his Crippler cross-face to win by submission. Cut to commercial.

La Parka vs. Super Calo - the announcers remind us that DDP disguised himself as La Parka recently. Sure enough, the match is barely underway whebn Randy Savage shows up and attacks. He disposes of Calo and then goes after La Parka. DDP then shows up and starts to work over Savage. Curt Hennig comes to the ring and gets the drop on DDP then splits. Savage drops an elbow on him and also leaves.

Mean Gene w/Hennig - Hennig says he has nothing in common with DDP and makes rude comments about his performance in bed with Kimberly. Ric Flair crashes the interview and wants Hennig to go party with the Horsemen after the show. Hennig is noncommittal. Cut to commercial.

The second hour begins with the nWo music - the Wolf Pack plus Konan and the rest of the nWo present in the building are on the ramp. Nash is riding in a wheel chair. Eric talks about the allegations against Nash - Nash denies the charges then inducts Konan into the nWo calling him K-Dog. They say nothing about their pending match with the Heat. They troup down to the ring (except Nash who rolls...) It looks like Syxx will take the place of Nash for the coming match. Cut to commercial.

Harlem Heat makes their entrance as we return. Syxx begins the match with Booker T and after a slow start gets the better of him. Booker comes back with one of his infamous side-kicks. Hall is tagged in with Stevie. Hall lets his bravado get away from him and gets pounded into the corner. Hall makes a brief comeback and then he is downed again. After being on the receiving end for several moments Hall gets a powerslam to turn the tide. Then Booker gets tagged back in and regains the advantage with another kick. The Heat doubleteam Hall as Syxx looks on in desparation. Nash shouts encouragement from ringside. The Heat knock Syxx off the apron then doubleteam Hall again. Hall is getting creamed as Syxx sags in the corner. When things look the worst for Hall (Syxx has been taken out to the floor and trounced) Nash jumps on the apron and turns the tables by hitting Booker T from behind before pretending to limp back to his wheelchair. Hall gets the Outsiders' Edge to win the match. Cut to commercial.

These WCW girls are getting annoying. More nWo music heralds the appearance of Chono and Muta (w/Vincent) they will face Public Enemy who come down with their table in tow. Chono and Muta attack them in the aisle and take the early advantage. Back in the ring PE show their superior teamwork and turn the tables. The nWo guys are forced out of the ring and decide to circle for a while. Chono re-enters the ring with Grunge - the two power guys collide and Chono is outwrestled. Muta finally gets the drop on Grunge after the next exchange. He drops back for a spring off the ropes and Rocco nails him in the back. PE rules the ring until Muta unleashes his green mist into Grunge's eyes. That spells the end - a Mafia Kick from Chono puts him down - he is pinned. Cut to commercial.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ric Flair - Jarrett enters with Debra McMichael (I can't imagine that Steve won't have a hand in this match). Jarrett gets the early advantage but Flair comes right back. They adjourn to the floor to slug it out. Flair gets back dropped on the padding at ringside. Back in the ring it is see-saw until Flair rams his shoulder into the corner. Jarrett puts Flair down then takes a moment to crow about it when he should be pinning Flair. Still he maintains his advantage. Jarrett is trying to set Flair up for the figure four but it's too soon. Flair keeps foiling it. Debra steps in front of the camera and rants while Flair slowly turns the tide. He has Jarrett in the figure four when Mongo and Benoit show up and start the triple team on him. That causes the DQ but Flair doesn't care. Jarrett eventually escapes and flees with Debra. Cut to commercial.

Mean Gene intros Lex Luger - (the Giant has been escorted from the building) Luger considers last night to be a high-point of his career. He really enjoyed racking Dennis Rodman. Gene questions him about the Title shot he still has pending against Hogan (since his win in the Four Corners Match) - nWo music plays - send in the clowns...

They surround the ring. Here comes someone in a Sting costume and a long-haired wig. He takes off a mask and the wig to reveal the real Sting. Fade to black...

RAW Report

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From San Antonio, Texas

We start with some review of the happenings last week at the pay-per-view and RAW in Canada. This week there will be different heroes...

The Harts troup down to the ring, Canadian flag flying. The crowd is rabid of course. Vinnie awaits them in the ring - mic in hand. He points out the difference in the reception from last week. Bret rants about Texas being full of rats (my what a metaphore...). He mentions that the stipulation that he will cease to appear in the US if he loses at the next PPV (Vince sorrects him to point out that the stipulation is that he will retire from wrestling in the US if he fails to win the WWF Title). The crowd attempts to shout him down as he goes on. Owen says he isn't intimidated by his match with Austin at Summerslam (he has pledges to kiss Austin's butt if he loses). Bulldog expresses similar non-reservations about his match with Ken Shamrock and pledges to eat a can of dogfood if he loses that match. Pillman talks about his pledge to wrestle Goldust in a dress on RAW if he loses to him at the PPV. Finally, Neidhart pledges to shave off his goatee if any of the Harts lose. Bret says its "going to be a Canadian summer" then Steve Austin crashes the party. Shamrock joins Austin on the ramp followed by the Patriot (porobably Del Wilkes) then Sid and finally Shawn Michaels - so who will be Austin's partner tonight...I guess that's the idea. Cut to commercial.

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Looking at the lineup - we know it can't be Sid because he is still on the shelf from his auto accident. I doubt that it will be Michaels - too obvious. Shamrock - highly unlikely and the Patriot - well frankly who cares? My guess is that it won't be any of these straw men...we'll just have to see.

Jerry Lawler/Brian Christopher vs. the Putskys' (father and son) - Ivan is considerably less bulky then that last time I saw him (has to be 6 to 7 years ago) - his pecks are sagging worse then Flair's. Scott does most of the work in this match. Dad seems content to cheer him on, even allowing himself to be restrained by the referee when the bad guys doubleteam his son on the floor. Lawler gets a piledriver on young Putsky but sonny boy says "No - let me". Lawler obliges and Brian promptly gives up the advantage. Lawler tries to help but further muddies the waters. Ivan finally gets to tag in and starts flailing around to little effect. Lawler tries to oblige him by allowing himself to be punched over the top rope but Ivan can't muster up the force to make it look believable. Finally he whips Lawler and hits him with a surprisingly credible Polish Hammer. Ivan pins Lawler. Revenge is sweet (if somewhat ridiculous...)

Review of the Mankind/Austin incident from last week. In person Mankind declines to comment - prefering to sit and rock with his head down. This could get interesting. Cut to commercial.

Paul Bearer claims Kane (Caine?) is alive and says he'll prove it next week.

Taka Michinoku vs. Tojiri Yoshahiro - this is a very fast paced match and frankly somewhat boring. Obviously choreographed to the point where a suicide dive to the outside is saved by the guy on the receiving end reaching out for his descending opponent in order to to take the shot. During the match it was hard to tell them apart. The crowd is clearly not into it and I don't blame them. Taka wins it with a combination piledriver/powerslam but nobody really cares. The WWF just hasn't learned yet how to use these foreign stars. I notice we haven't seen any Luchedores lately...

We see Savio and his gang (Los Boricuas) arrive in a customized Chevy - they have switched to red tank tops (probably trying to kill the image we have of them as a group of busboys...) They have a match with the Headbangers up next.

The Headbangers vs. Los Boricuas (Miguel Estrada Jr. and Jose Perez) - The Bangers start out strong but their opponents are apparently cagier - they take the advantage early on. Mosh is the victim but he escapes eventually and tags in Thrasher. Things are see-saw for a moment and then Mosh gets upended out of the ring. Thrasher can't stand up to the two on one situation and gets pinned. All four of the Puerto Ricans go on the attack until DOA show up to start a melee. Los Baricuas splits and are declared the winners.

The Patriot is interviewed - it is Wilkes (his Southern accent is unmistakable - then Vince identifies him by name). Cut to commercial.

Shawn Michaels is introduced. He is clearly not dressed to wrestle anytime soon. He appears in shorts, a t-shirt, baseball cap and shoes without socks. He does his Boy Toy schtick and gets a rousing reception and some fireworks once he hits the ring. Vinnie asks him if he will be Austin's partner - rather then answer it he restates the question. Then he says he's not 100% but swears he is "...good enough to go right now" - then he says that it's up to Austin. (Interestingly, Austin has already stated that he would prefer to have Michaels as his partner). He drops the subject to talk about Bret Hart. He wants to see Bret "buried" by the Undertaker and appeals to Vince to let him to be a part of Summerslam. In the crowd there is a "Canada Sucks" sign. Vince doesn't answer the appeal - he just shouts Michaels' name. Michaels prances. Cut to commercial.

Let me say here that there is no way that Bret Hart will be forced to give up appearing in the US, so Bret will win the Title at Summerslam - count on it.

Savio Vega is screaming that a terribla accident has happened in the back - he takes a cameraman with him and vanishes. Vinnie and JR vamp while the camera feed is restored.

A moment later we see the Boricuas in the backlot garage destroying one of DOA's motorcycles. Another melee erupts and the Puerto Rican drive off dragging the broken bike behind their car.

We come back for a replay of the action just before the break.

Jim Neidhart vs. Ken Shamrock - Lawler joins the broadcast table for this one. Behind the ring an "nWo for Life" poster is shown. Shamrock easily outwrestles his opponent from the beginning. Neidhart finally turns the tables by hammering on the anvil which is Shamrock's back. He maintains the advantage my using shots to the eyes. He finally makes the mistake of mounting the second rope - to risky and he pays for it. Shamrock gets some kind of a sleeper submission hold to win. Immediately the Bulldog hits the ring and they double up on the former UFS champ. The Patriot runs in and saves the day by grabbing the Bulldog and Neidhart in turn in a Full Nelson and then tossing them down. Cut to commercial.

Mankind continues to sit and rock... they review his campaign to be Steve Austin's partner then they talk about the current Million Dollar contest - I haven't paid any attention to this silly stuff...

Road Warriors vs. The Blackjacks - the Godwins attack the LOD on their way to the ring with chairs and a slop drop. Hawk is busted open - no match tonight...lets go sell something...

Review of the Godwins attack. Hawk has been taken to the hospital.

Flash Funk vs. Vader - Funk gets punked early on. Later he comes back and does some of his trademark flying moves. On the outside he suicide dives onto Vader and then runs him int the ringsteps. Back in the ring Vader regains the advantage momentarily but Flash reverses the trend once more. He blocks a powerbomb the first time but then runs right into the 450 lbs. monster. This time the powerbomb works for Vader. He gets the pin then Vader Bombs his helpless opponent.

Steve Austin says he still doesn't care who his partner will be tonight - he still plans to walk out with the belts tonight. We will find out after the commercial.

Owen Hart/Davey Boy Smith vs. Steve Austin/? (WWF Tag Team Title match) - Austin charges into the ring before his partner is announced. The announcers are saying that he doesn't have a partner - then change their tune and say he must have one. Meanwhile he is going it alone in the match and getting creamed inside and outside the ring. Austin's partner is finally revealed to be... a pair of wrestling boots...oh, I see, we're going to go to commercial first then we'll see who it is. Isn't this fun kids..?

We're back and in the ring Austin is still going it alone. The partner must be in Oklahoma... Stone Cold continues to hold his own - maybe they should just let him do it that way. Mankind appears as Dude Love - still a long haired freak. He's switched his costume and covered his missing hair with a bandanna. He tags Foley in and I guess has decided to accept him. Dude Love goes into the frey and aquits himself well. During a confused moment Austin sneaks into the ring and wins the match for Foley by putting the Bulldog in a Stone Cold Stunner. After the match the referee hands one belt each to Austin and Foley. Foley offers his belt to Austin who snatches it away. Two bimbos come into the ring and start making more than eyes at Dude Love. Austin drops the belt at his feet then rather grudgingly shakes his hand. Fade to black...

I watched the WWF Summer Flashbacks program but decided not to report on it. It was basically a succession of closing moments of famous matches interspersed with other notible events of the last 10 years or so. A fun program to watch but hardly newsworthy.

Anyway, that's the way I see it...

Earl Oliver,
editor Solie's Wrestling Newsletter

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