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Solie's Tuesday Morning Report

Monday Night Wars Edition

Luger wins the WCW Heavyweight Title!!!

Ted Dibiasi to Manage the Steiners!

Sgt. Slaughter is the New Commissioner of the WWF

Volume 2, Issue 203 - August 4, 1997

Tuesday Nitro Report

Michael Buffer intros this special 100th Edition of Nitro from Detroit, Michigan - a three hour program tonight.

Unfortunately they then turn it over to the Nitro Girls (gag...), then Voodoo Child plays to introduce Eric Bischoff and Hollywood Hogan. The announcers are telling us that the Steiners will have a "Bombshell" for the Outsiders later this evening. Hogan has evidently shaved since the last time we saw him - his beard is on the way back - blonde this time. Eric intros the Champ then puts Lex Luger down. Hogan says it's all a trick (the Title match tonight). He promises that Luger will be dragged "through the mud..." He then stops the rising music to say that he will beat Luger tonight and then Scott Hall will get the Title shot at Sturgis. The announcers inform us that Hogan and his lawyers tried to stop tonight's match. They also reiterate that Sting will get an offer from JJ Dillon tonight.

Mortis w/James Vandenberg vs. Curt Hennig - here's an interesting match-up. A chance to see what Mortis has...and how much Hennig has left... - if DDP doesn't come out to spoil it. Mortis' martial arts style seems to get the best of Hennig at first but he recovers quickly. Vandenberg provides the distraction that gives Mortis back the advantage. But not for long - Hennig is clearly the superior wrestler. He finally wins it with a Perfect Plex.

Fans tear up a RAW sign for the camera as we return. Cut to a video montage of the last year in Sting's life.

Hector and Chavo Guerrero vs. Jeff Jarrett/Dean Malenko w/Debra - Chavo starts against Malenko and doesn't do well. Hector tags in and also Jarrett. Hector fares a little better but stops to showboat and gets blindsided. Malenko comes back in and continues the assault. Jarrett and Malenko are showing some good team work as they take turns on Hector. Chavo finally has to save his uncle but it does no good. Malenko comes in and slaps on the Texas Cloverleaf to get the win. "RAW is WEAK" seems to be a popular sign tonight. Cut to commercial.

Raven is at the rail with Mean Gene - Stevie Richards shows up before Gene can get Raven's attention. He has some more paerwork in his hands. He talks about a "snag" in the situation. Raven is ignoring him as he explains that he has renegotiated the contract. Raven takes the contract and the pen, then he spits in Richard's face and cold cocks him yet again. Richards gets up and blocks a second punch. He says "Boss, you're not going to abuse me anymore..." Raven grins at him and then walks away.

The Giant vs. three jobbers (Lenny Lane, Scott Dumore, Joey Maggs) - a silly match - he squashes then pins all three of them simultaneously.

Randy Savage appears on the ramp and rants. The Giant leaves the ring and heads for the ramp as we cut to SlimJim commercial. A cute one featuring (supposedly) the Macho Man circa 1970 attacking his high school wrestling coach. The old guy gets down into referee's position only to have "Macho Boy" kick him in the ribs then drop an elbow on him off the bleachers.

We return to a video montage of Lex Luger.

High Voltage vs. Public Enemy - a rematch from the Philly Street Fight of a few months ago. This is bout #4 between these teams - HV is 2 and 1. PE starts strong and very aggressive. High Voltage comes back with some power maneuvers but they waste too much time between assaults. Still they hold the high ground through the middle of the match. PE finally gets it back then squanders their advantage by going out to the table. Rage is in position to be splashed but Kaos pulls him away. Rocco takes the table shot. In the ring HV doubleteams Grunge to no avail. Grunge reverses a move and rolls up Kaos for the pin. Afterward Grunge gets creamed by a part of the destroyed table as Rocco is still out of it on the floor.

Alex Wright provides some comic relief by dancing with the Nitro Girls. Mean Gene tries to interview him but he insists on speaking German. He then trashes Chris Jericho.

Alex Wright vs. Scotty (the jobber) Riggs - Cruiserweight Title match - Wright is showing his usual aggressive nature of late. He is a better wrestler in any case. They go out to the floor where Riggs takes some shots before turning the tables. Back inside Riggs continues his assault. But Wright comes back and throws a stomp off the top rope. They then throw simultaneous flying body blocks - Riggs comes out on top. Moments later he takes his opponent up for a superplex but gets blocked and thrown to the mat. Wright throws a missle drop-kick (Jericho's finishing move) and then gets the pin. Cut to commercial.

Tony introduces hour #2 as the show that "chased the competition away..."

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Mean Gene w/ Lex Luger - Lex says tonight is the "defining moment" of his career. He mispronounces "spewing" as "spuing" - he plans to slap the rack on Hogan...naturally.

Syxx vs. Chris Benoit - on paper Waltman can't possibly win this one. There is a sign with the word "Kayfabe" on it. In the ring Benoit is destroying the former 1-2-3 Kid. They go out and Syxx reverses it. Back inside he holds the upper hand for several moments then blows a move off the top. Both guys are being counted. At 5 they are both up and back at it. Benoit asserts his authority again but then stops to argue with the referee and gets blindsided. He is about to suplex Syxx off the top when Jeff Jarrett hits the ring (and Benoit) - Mongo joins the frey and then Dean Malenko as we cut to commercial.

The Nitro Girls (minus Wright) boogie down...

Vincent vs. Booker T (w/Stevie Ray) - this has to be a squash...and is. Vincent gets trounced like his namesake lately...

Mean Gene w/Diamond Dallas Page - he has a match with Ric Flair tonight. He tells of his respect for the 13 time World Champ but disagrees with Flair's courting of Curt Hennig. He says Flair has his respect but he has Flair's number. Cut to commercial.

The Barbarian vs. Wrath (w/James Vandenberg) - this will be good. Both these guys are rough and tough...and big. Barbarian has the experience advantage but Wrath takes control early on. Barbarian reverses Death Penalty attempt into a suplex to take over. They go out to the floor where Wrath reasserts himself. Back inside the Barbarian comes back strong. But then he goes to the top and jumps right into a Death Penalty and is put down. Meng runs-in to fend off any further damage as Wrath and his manager retreat (Vandenberg saying "Not now...")

Mean Gene in the ring introduces the Steiner Brothers. They come out with Ted Dibiasi!!! Ted claims he's decided to stand by tradition and be on the side of WCW. He renounces his former lifestyle - and says he wants to prove himself to the Steiners and the fans - and he will start at Sturgis. Hall and Nash appear on the ramp. They talk some trash. Nash refers to Dibiasi as "Pumpkin Head" and says he is a dead man. Dibiasi says he plans to tell the Steiners everything he knows about the Outsiders. Cut to commercial.

More Nitro Girls...

Psychosis (w/Sonny Oono) vs. K-Dawg - Konan comes on strong at the beginning - he puts his opponent down then drop-kicks him right in the face. Psychosis takes to the air to turn the tables. It proves to be his undoing as Konan catches him in mid air and slams him. A Tequilla Sunrise gets Konan the win. Rey Misterio comes out on crutches and suckers K-Dawg into bending over for a crutch-shot. He demonstrates that his leg is just fine, thank you very much. Cut to commercial.

Silver King/Damien vs. Glacier/Ernest Miller - the Mexican guys shows superior teamwork - Miller shows his inexperience through much of this match. Still the Blood Runs Cold boys pull it off. Miller wins after a flying - spinning round kick.

nWo music plays - Eric Bischoff enters alone and goes to the ring. He says there is some business they need to take care of. He says there are two people he has no love for. He amends it to say three. He names the Giant and Legandary Larry. He brings JJ Dillon out. He threatens the Giant with a lawsuit. He threatens Zbysco with bodily harm. JJ leaves the ring chuckling. Cut to commercial.

The Nitro Girls dress the broadcast booth for the opening of the unprecidented third hour...

Diamond Dallas Page (w/Kimberly) vs. Ric Flair - Curt Hennig joins Flair on the ramp and shakes his hand before Flair strides to the ring. These guys are about the same age though Flair has a vast experience advantage. DDP demonstrates that he came ready for a fight. He pulls off a massive powerbomb. Then, as Curt Hennig jogs toward the ring, we cut to commercial.

Flair has the match under control as we return - Hennig is at ringside. So far he hasn't interfered. Moments later he provides the distraction so Flair can clip DDP's knee. Now it's all Flair as he works over the leg of his opponent. He goes for the Figure Four but DDP has the ropes nearby. Flair continues to pound on DDP. Then he tries to suplex DDP from the inside out and gets blocked. DDP slaps on a Figure Four of his own! Hennig tries to interfere but fails. Flair escapes via the ropes. Moments later Page gets a modified chickenwing face slam on Flair. Hennig comes in with a set of brass knucks but DDP cuts him off. Now Page has the weapon - which he tosses to the referee. He takes on both guys on his own and runs them out of the ring. Cut to commercial.

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Villanos IV and V vs. Lizmark, Jr./Hector Garza - Garza is the star here - and for a change he hits more moves then he misses (but he still misses his share). The Villanos are the better tag team and take over control early on. Garza throws his usual signature move (the Corkscrew Planche) and takes out his own partner along with the Villanos. The latter finally win the match by making an illegal switch and a roll-up.

Mean Gene is in the ring and introduces JJ Dillon - he talks about wanting to talk to Sting. Sting descends from the rafters and enters the ring. Dillon offers Sting a contract to wrestle Curt Hennig. Sting tears up the contract and leaves. Okerlund pleads with him to reconsider. Dillon says he will keep trying to figure out what Sting wants. I would say Sting wants Hogan (or is that too obvious...?) Cut to commercial.

Michael Buffer introduces the Main Event. Lex Luger challanges Hollywood Hogan for the WCW Heavyweight Title - but lets go sell something first...

Voodoo Child plays as we return - Buffer introduces the Champ. Hogan enters with the defaced WCW Title belt. He faces Luger in the center of the ring and punches his finger into the Package's chest. The match begins and they exchange hammer locks. They tie up again and Luger shoves him off. They tie up again and Hogan backs Luger into the corner then returns the shove. The next lock-up ends when Hogan gets in a cheap shot. Now he is relentless as he pounds on the challanger. Hogan seems to have this match well in hand. He's not trying to pin his man. Each pinfull opportunity is used to put on a chokehold. Luger comes back with a vengence until Randy Anderson gets between them - Hogan sucker punches Luger over the referee's shoulder. Cut to commercial.

We come back to find both guys staggering around but Hogan is still in control. We here that Luger took a chair shot during the break. Hogan goes for a pin but fails. He gets a belly-to-back suplex and tries again. Luger gets his foot on the rope. He is attacking and trying the pin repeatedly without success. Luger in on his hands and knees as Hogan spits on him. He raises his foot into Lugers face - still no cigar. He drops the big leg - Luger kicks out. He goes for it again and misses. Luger is back and so are the Outsiders and Savage. he fights them all off and then racks Hogan. Luger wins the WCW Heavyweight Title!!!

All of WCW joins him in the ring to congratulate the new Champ.

The announcers are triumphant as we adjourn to the respective locker rooms to see Luger celebrating as the Giant tries to clean off the spray paint from the Title belt while Hogan and his thugs are breaking furniture...

I won't remind you all that I predicted this result of tonight's match...Oops...I guess I just did...

RAW Report

RAW is starting one hour later tonight (and I assume from now on since Walker, Texas Ranger now occupies the eight o'clock hour). This means that on the East Coast RAW is going head-to-head against the second hour of Nitro. Hardly seems like a recipe for success...

Live from Bethlehem, PA

The new (5 time) WWF Champs comes to the ring with his cohoorts to open the program. His greeting is mixed at best. Jim Ross is there to interview the Hitman. They show clips of the ending of last night's main event. The sound is pretty crappy during this part of the broadcast. We hear Vince McMahon off camera mixed in with the ranting in the ring. Now we hear the Spanish translation in the background...there is a scroll across the top of the screen telling us that they are experiencing technical difficulties. We can gather that Hart is calling for the WWF to suspend Shawn Michaels for showing favoritism last night. (If I remember right the stipulation was that Michaels couldn't show favoritism to the Undertaker...but what do I know...?)

Bret says that Brian Pillman will refuse to wear the dress tonight (I imagine the new Commissioner will have something to say about that). Owen says he beat himself last night and claims he has put Austin out of wrestling. JR then introduces Sargent Slaughter as the WWF Commissioner.

Slaughter corrects Bret Hart's assertion that he (Hart) is the new "sherrif in town" because he (Slaughter) is. He orders Bret to face the Patriot at the Ground Zero PPV. When Bret protests asking "...who has he ever beat?" Slaughter reminds him that it was Bret himself who was beat last week on RAW. He then orders a rematch for the Bulldog against Ken Shamrock , tells Pillman he will wear a dress tonight or face suspension and tells Owen that he will get a rematch when Steve Austin says so!!. Austin then appears on the ramp and shows that his "injury" from last night may have been a work by granting the match tonight.

Fans are shown calling Shawn Michaels a traitor and saying that the Undertaker was robbed last night. Cut to commercial.

NOD is interviewed backstage - Farrooq rants about the coming Triple-Threat match at Ground Zero - the sound is breaking up again.

Ken Shamrock vs. Kama Mustafa - Slaughter has to order the thugs away from the ring so the match can begin. Shamrock starts out aggressive but he is dwarfed by his opponent. Kama assumes control early on. They go to the outside and Kama gets posted. Shamrock goes back into the ring, meanwhile Los Boricuas show up and doubleteam the NOD member then throw him into the ring. Shamrock hits his belly-to-belly and gets the pin. Cut to commercial.

Sunny introduces the next match - Brian Christopher vs. Taka Michinoko - Light-Heavyweight Division match - (I get the impression the Light-Heavyweight Division was invented to showcase Lawlers little boy...) - Taka throws a spectacular springboard suicide dive towards the middle of the match but the star here is Christopher. Still Taka reverses a suplex attempt into a small package and gets a pin. Christopher attacks him after the match and slingshots him over the top rope. Daddy has a fit at ringside.

Slaughter confronts Pillman at the door of his dressing room. Flyin' Brian is refusing to wear the dress. Slaughter says "fine" and orders him to wear the dress every week on RAW until he beats somebody in the ring or else he's suspended on the spot. This could really be fun if they stretch it out and let a few jobbers beat him...cut to commercial.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley (w/Chynna) vs. Vader (w/Paul Bearer) - Vince says the "individuals are pretty well matched..." (funny...I thought Vader had about 200lbs on Helmsley...sounds like an insult to me) - Vader throws his superior weight around to take control early on. Helmsley comes out of the corner after a whip and clotheslines his opponent to turn the tables. He pounds the big guy into the corner. Vader bulks up and drops his opponent. Then Chynna goes over a drop-kicks Paul Bearer. Vader goes out, followed by Hunter - both men are counted out of the ring. Cut to commercial.

The Patriot vs The Sultan (w/the Iron Sheik) - I imagine we can expect the Harts to have a hand in this match. The Patriot rants in a patriotic way against Bret Hart before the match. He seems genuinely insensed... The two face off in the ring with competing flags. The Sultan then uses his as a weapon to get the match underway. The King is misquoting Samuel Johnson at ringside (the right wording is: "Patriotism is the last refuge of scoundrels..." not "...the last refuge of a scoundrel"). After a few exchanges dominated by the Sultan the Patriot "Hulks Up" and and has his way with the big guy by applying a Patriot Missle and a full nelson suplex to get the pin.

Bret and the gang are headed to the ring when Slaughter intervenes, the Patriot takes advantage of Bret's distraction and blindsides him. They scuffle out on the floor until Slaughter breaks it up and orders Hart away from ringside. Cut to commercial.

Vince McMahon introduces Shawn Michaels as "...the most controversial athlete in the WWF". HBK gets a mixed reaction as he enters in his usual fashion. He seems outraged that the blame for last night's debacle is being dumped on his shoulders. He says he doesn't give a damn what anybody thinks of him. He says he called it fair and square. Vince wants to know if Shawn is in cahoots with Bret Hart. He replies that Vince is the (words bleeped out) he's ever known. Vince (who can't seem to decide if he wants laugh or get angry) says that Shawn will have to face the Undertaker at the next PPV. He hands the mic to Shawn and leaves the ring. Michaels continues to rant - he tells the fans to go to Hell (this is beginning to sound remarkably like Bret Hart's heel turn) - he promises to put the Undertaker out with a superkick the next time they meet - so naturally UT shows up. Shawn splits in the dark...

Vince is back in the ring to interview the ex-Champ. UT says he isn't here to talk. He plans to take souls and make people "rest in peace". He names Shawn Michaels as his first victim. Paul Bearer starts screaming from the backstage area that he was "...with Kane last night" - and "...he's coming"...Geez! this is lame...cut to commercial.

Ahmed Johnson (w/NOD) vs. Chains (Brian Lee) (w/DOA) - Slaughter interviews Steve Austin's doctor backstage to determine Stone Cold's condition. The Doc says Steve shouldn't wrestle, then Slaughter goes to the ring and orders the non-participants in the match to vacate the area - Ahmed thinks he's faced Chains down and turns his back only to get clipped behind the knee. Lee has his way until he flings himself astraddle of the second rope. He continues the attack as Savio and one of his gang show up at ringside. Savio revs up Chains' bike which distracts him so that Ahmed can sneak in a PPP. The rest of DOA shows up and a melee looks about to erupt. Suddenly the rest of the NOD attacks Ahmed! Farrooq whips him in the ring as the DOA retreats. Vince is vowing to get to the bottom of this turn of events as we cut to commercial.

The Headbangers vs. The Godwins - Thrasher shows us some decent mat wrestling at the beginning of this one against Phineous. Vince is telling us that Steve Austin has been ordered to stay out of the ring tonight. Dude Love will take his place. In the ring Thrasher is still in and the tide has turned in the Godwins' favor. Now the match has degenerated into a brawl. The Godwins use doubleteam tactics to win the match with an illegal Slopdrop.

Goldust and Marlena show up unexpectedly (to enforce the dress action I presume) just as we cut to commercial.

Mr. and Mrs. Runnels are sitting ringside as we return.

Brian Pillman (in drag) vs. Bob Holly - Pillman hesitates at the curtain and is shoved out into view by Slaughter. He runs to the ring and goes to work on Holly. Holly turns the tables and reveals that Pillman is wearing panties (or maybe a Speedo) under the dress. Goldust and the Frau are cracking up at ringside. Pillman goes out to confront them and gets counted out. Guess he'll be back in the dress again next week...

Dude Love (subbing for Austin) vs. Owen Hart - Bret Hart has invited hiimself to ringside to offer commentary on the match - Sgt. Slaughter decides to stick around as well. It seems really funny to see Lawler and Hart with their heads together agreeing on everything. Apparently this will still be an Intercontinental Title match. The Dude is distracted by his ladies and gets blindsided to start the match. He comes back strong however. Owen reverses the field with a reverse spin kick then gets dumped out to the floor. DL tells Bret that he's next while he's out there (he calls him Owen, however). Back in the ring he continues to cream his opponent. Vince is calling Lawler on his change of Hart (pun intended) as Owen turns the tables in the ring. The Dudester is reeling on the outside as we cut to commercial.

His Dudeness is back in the ring and in control as we return. Owen's neck is snapped off the top rope. Foley goes out to throw an elbow on him and misses. Owen rolls him into the ring and then mounts the corner and throws a missle drop-kick. Now it's all Owen. The Bulldog approaches the ring thus drawing the attention of Slaughter. Bret takes the opportunity to interfere in the match. He hands Dude Love to his brother who slaps on a Sharpshooter. Now Stone Cold is stalking down to ringside. Slaughter tries to forstall him but Austin pushes past him. In the ring Owen has released the hold to watch the goings on at ringside. There is a lot of confusion as Slaughter tries to get between the two enemies. Austin grabs one of Owen's Slammies from the table and brains Owen with it. Dude Love rolls him up and pins him.

Steve Austin leaves the area in triumph as his partner is smothered in kisses by his girls. Fade to black...

Both promotions went all out tonight and put on good shows.

Anyway, that's the way I see it...

Earl Oliver,
editor Solie's Wrestling Newsletter

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