Volume 1, Issue 27
August 5, 1996
Nitro Report: NWO Lets WCW OFF with a Taunt/Outsiders No Show
The Disney/MGM Theme park seems to have become the permanent (temporary) home for the Nitro program...of course, security is almost impossible outdoors.
This evening wrestlers have stationed themselves around the arena to provide security for the event. Tony introduces this as perhaps the greatest card in the history of Monday Nitro (to make up for the disruption last week...?) There are four empty chairs down front ringside.
First up - Rock n' Roll Express vs. The Harlem Heat -(World Title Match) the 5 time NWA Tag Champs certainly have the credentials to be in this match but who have they beaten lately? Although the Heat are looking good as usual, Ricky and Robert are crafty and make few mistakes. All of their gains in fact are a direct results of the Heats' miscues. Finally Sherri gets involved. She tries to kiss Robert but gets brushed away. Col. Rob tries to wade in and gets clobbered...but then, he was only a distraction. Superkick city...Harlem Heat gets the win.
Nasty Boys interview (they're set to face Sting/Lugar in the main event) - Sting and Lugar interrupt to ask the Nasties where they stand on the NWO controversy. The Nasties' reply that they stand "in Nastyville" just like always and claim to be Hogan's friends. They forcefully express no opinion about the angle.
Medusa vs Osaka - Osaka?? Isn't that a city??? (Jeez, I guess if you're a woman you can't just face an ordinary wrestlers...you have to go up against a freakin' city!!) This is a very competitive match which is promptly ignored when a limo pulls up out back...
Back in the ring - Osaka gets a screwjob pin when Sonny Oono holds Medusa's legs from outside.
Review of the Benoit/Malenko non-feud (so far at least).
Alex Dowright vs. Chris Benoit - Benoit brings the brunettes. Wright has a spectacular flurry towards the middle of the match. Benoit is as usual, cruel and efficient...Larry refers to him as a machine. The first time Wright makes a mistake, Benoit is all over him. Alex hangs in there but he can't quite come back. Suddenly Jimmy Hart is on the scene and entreating Woman to leave the Horsemen to join the Dungeon. He says something about someone being "...crazy over you..." Must be talking about Sullivan. Malenko runs in and attacks Benoit - gets him counted out. Lets look at the limo again before we go sell something.
Steve Regal vs. Randy Savage - this is a great match! Regal, with almost unlimited technical savvy is the perfect foil for Savage's uncontrolled violence. It turns into a pier six brawl eventually.
The second hour begins as the mayham continues in the ring. Eric and Bobby haven't shown up!! Here comes Sting and Lugar to fill two of the empty ringside seats. Savage brings Regal out and smashes him into the seats as Sting and Lugar jump aside. He drags him back in and puts him down with the Elbow Drop from the top.
Sting/Lugar head out to the limo where they find a floral bouquet with a black ribbons enscribed with the words "Condolences on the Death of WCW". Sting fains an opinion that the Outsiders must be "nice guys" but that the WCW is still very much alive. He turns the flowers over to Savage who suggests they kick a fieldgoal with it. Two points. The limo leaves.
Review of Guerrero/Flair incident from last week. There's Mysterio trying to tell us about the "fourth guy" while Mean Gene studiously ignores him. Tonight's mystery - where are Eric and Bobby?
Bootyman (w/Kimberly) vs. Flair - Ed Leslie (Brutus/Butcher/Zodiac/Beefcake) is one of the real question marks. He and Hogan really did grow up together. Where will he come down all of this...and who cares?
Flair cheap shots right off the bat. All the Horsemen are now present at ringside (even Arn with a crutch). The "security" won't interfere with them of course.
A competitive (and completely ignored) match is going on in the ring until the Horsemen attack Brutus en masse. I believe they broke his leg. Flair says in a post-screwjob interview that they beat up "Hogan's best friend" just like the Outsiders beat up Flair's best friend Arn.
We review the Outsiders' attack off last week - they show clips of the entire incident, dwell on it for a full five minutes. Seems longer. Bobby Heenan shows up long enough to say he hasn't seen Eric and then walks off the show again.
Cut to NWO commercial. Same one we saw over the weekend. It gets cut short when Sting and Lugar invade the control room ala The Outsiders a few weeks ago. They decree that no more "garbage" gets put out on the air. Hmmm...so there is no freedom of expression in the WCW and Sting and Lugar are the dictators in charge. Very interesting.
Pittbull Pittman vs. the Giant - wrestlers make their entrances - cut to commercial. Uh oh...the limo is back.
Were back - this is an extended squash that ends in a chokeslam. Teddy Long tries to intervene and he gets chokeslammed for good measure.
The Giant says, "If you've got any guts Hogan, bring them to Sturgis and I'll show them to you!" Larry the Legend keeps referring to the NWO as the New World Odor. I love it.
Nasties vs. Sting/Lugar - no violence yet from the Outsiders. Steiners are at ringside. Lugar and Sting definately get the short end of this stick. The Nasty Boys came prepared for this battle but then Saggs runs afoul of Rick Steiner on the outside. He's thrown back into the ring and put into the Scorpion Deathlock. Commercial time.
Back in the ring with Mean Gene/Sting /Lugar. Stings wants to go check out the limo again. They stroll out and open the door. We see hands struggling to close the door, our boys snag some kind of leather purse but we're out of time...fade to black.
Tonight the main event is a Battle Royal for the right to face the WWF Champ after Summerslam. The Burger King is in the ring, waiting for Aldo Montoya and insulting Jake the Snake. He produces a pint of Jim Beam as a visual aide. He decides to commentate during the match. Big mistake - Aldo comes to life after a standing suplex wakes him up. he wails on Lawler until he gets caught between the King's legs and then piledriven twice. Lawler forces whiskey down his throat then pours it all over him. Cut to commercial.
New (Improved?) Rockers vs. Bodydonnas - Dorks vs. Dorks match. Hillbilly Jim sits in the color chair. Rockers attack in the aisle before the match. The teams are about equally matched size and skillwise (and in dorkiness), the action is fast and furious.
Godwins and Gunns are shown watching on separate monitors in the back.
Cassiday gets a vicious swinging neckbreaker on Skip on the outside. The Rockers take turns pounding on him. Cassiday (Al Snow) is another well known wrestling machine. Another commercial.
The match goes on as we return until the Gunns run in and help the Rockers attack the Bodydonnas. Of course the Hog Farmers show up and clean house. Do I see an eight man tag match looming? Still another commercial.
HBK interview - he discusses his chances against Vader, expects to beat him (surprise, surprise). He's asked about Brett Hart, says he hopes the Hitman will come back to the WWF. Seems to be filled with respect.
RAW Invitational Battle Royal - the winner faces the Champion after Summerslam.
Undertaker and Mankind go for each other immediately and are both eliminated. Doesn't matter - they go on fighting into the stands. Remaining eight pretty much pair off. Ahmed eliminates Bulldog, Sid throws Bradshaw out, Mero takes out Owen Hart. Sid and Ahmed are cooperating. Cut to commercial.
We're back - Goldust eliminates Mero, then Vega. Now UT and Mankind are back fighting right into the ring! Then they disappear back up the aisle.
Back in the ring four are left - Goldust/Ahmed/Sid/Austin. Ahmed vs Goldy - Sid vs Austin. Then they switch off. The bad guys are winning - then Sid comes back. Knocks Austin away from Ahmed. Meanwhile UT and Mankind are going at it in the bowels of the building. Why wait until Summerslam? Another commercial.
As we come back Sid powerbombs Goldust. Austin attacks and gets the same treatment. The double stalemate is broken when Bulldog and Owen come out to distract Sid and get him eliminated.
Goldust and Austin agree to coordinate an attack on Johnson but then Goldust holds back and lets Stone Cold do the stomping. Steve turns around and gets clobbered by Goldust. Moments later he helps Ahmed eliminate the King of the Ring.
Now its one on one - Ahmed dominates untill the commercial.
Coming back there is a pitched battle in the ring. After stumbling against the ropes Ahmed forces Goldust over the top rope - almost tumbling over himself. Ahmed will face Vader in two weeks (my prediction). As Johnson is regaining his composure Faruuk Assad storms the ring - they face off amid swirling officialdom - fade to black.
Well Nitro had some good matches but again shortchanged them while dwelling too much on the NWO angle (then didn't even produce an Outsider confrontation). RAW was fast paced and very entertaining - the (taped) Battle Royal to showed off some of Vinnie's finest talent. I would give the nod to RAW tonight - but not by much.
Anyway, that's the way I see it...
editor Solie's Wrestling Newsletter
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This page is a personal tribute and is in no way connected to any of the wrestling promotions mentioned on it. It is dedicated to the Dean of Wrestling announcers, Gordon Solie.
Copyright 1996 - Jump City Productions