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Solie's Tuesday Morning Report

Monday Night Wars Edition

Bret Hart Turns Back to the nWo

Undertaker to Face Kane for the
WWF Title at the Next PPV

Goldust Coming Back to Avenge Dustin!

Volume 3, Issue 363 - September 28, 1998

Nitro Report

Nitro comes to us live from the Blue Cross Arena in Rochester, New York. First we get the Nitro Grrrrls in the ring as Tony and Tenay hype tonight's card and the coming Halloween Havoc PPV. Legendary Larry takes his bows as the two "T's" discuss the Warrior/Hogan feud.

They are interrupted by the strains of Voodoo Child and Eric Bischoff leads Hollywood Hogan to the ring. Scott Hall joins them in the aisle - he is drunk as usual. Brian Adams appears as they enter the ring. Bischoff rants his usual obsequeous drivel then hands the mic to Hogan. Hogan toots his own horn (again, as usual...) reminding us that he made wrestling, etc...yatta, yatta, yatta... He runs down the Warrior, suggests that he is running from Hogan, etc. Then he turns his ire on Sting and Bret Hart - challenging them both to a match tonight - referring to himself as "Wood" (short for Hollywood, I guess...). This waste of time consumes eleven minutes. Cut to commercial.

La Parka vs. Super Calo - we haven't seen La Parka for a while. In this case absense doesn't make the heart grow fonder. LP starts with his little strut dance and gets creamed for dropping his guard. He recovers quickly and employs his size advantage to take control. Not for long though. Calo catches him coming into the corner and turns the tables. Moments later LaParka runs his shoulder into the corner post then rolls out to the floor and gets splashed. Not an auspicious return by any means. Back in the ring, he finally gets it together and hangs Calo in the "Tree-of-Woe" and ramming him with a knee. He slams his opponent then takes way too long climbing the corner. He launches himself and catches a mouthfull of boot. Calo takes over and his high-flying style starts to take it's toll until his larger opponent catches him in mid-flight and slams him. In a flash, La Parka is on the top, throws a corkscrew plancha and gets the pin. Calo is up immediately, grabs the "chairman's" chair, and whacks La Parka over the head with it. He gets in a couple of more shots as LP lies on the mat (of course he's really hitting the floor on the far side of his opponent and making it too obvious). cut to commercial.

Mean Gene calls Bret Hart out for an interview. Hart looks like he has recovered from his bogus leg injury. He accepts the match with Hogan saying that he and Sting have discussed it and decided to let Bret get the first crack at Hogan. He also mentions that he will have people to watch his back. He promises to "kick the living crap" out of Hogan (sounds messy...)

The Disciple vs. Sick Boy - Ed Leslie is still wearing the OWN vest from last week but comes out to nWo music. Unless I'm missing something, this is the first singles match he's wrestled since assuming this character. At one point he throws a foot into his opponent's face and clearly misses him by at least six inches - yet Sick Boy goes down - must have been psycho-kinesis or something... The Apocolypse neck breaker ends the match a moment later. Cut to commercial.

We come back to video clips of some of Bagwell/Steiner shananigans over the last few months.

Tony tells us that Chris Jericho has challenged Goldberg to a World Title match tonight then we cut to commercial.

Scott Steiner (w/Buff Bagwell) vs. Lenny Lane/Nick Densmore - handicap match - this is no contest. First he destroys Densmore and tosses him out then he pounds Lane and then hangs him in the corner, slips out and pulls on his head for a while. As long as he's out there he smashes Densmore a couple of times then goes back in a finishes demolishing Lane. Densmore foolishes delivers himself into harms way, gets creamed again and then is stacked on the back of Lane for a double Steiner Recliner to win. Afterwards he pretends to have hurt his back. The trainer comes out, falling for it... They continue the charade as we cut to commercial.

The Warrior appears in the entryway right after we come back. He goes to the ring ans starts his rant by calling on his fans to "speak" to him, then he goes off on a ramble about Hogan. He seems to be disappointed in the Hulkster, if I understand his incoher-rant correctly. More wasted time on the program... Cut to commercial.

Okerlund calls Buff Bagwell to the ramp in hopes of getting an update on Scott Steiner's "condition". Bagwell says Steiner is on the way to the hospital. His rant is interrupted by the maniacal laughter that we have been hearing for the last couple of weeks. It subsides and Buff continues to spout his nonsense about Steiner.

Psychosis vs. Ernest Miller - Miller offers to let Psychosis leave before the match, his usual rant. Pschosis doesn't understand much English and just stands there. Miller attacks with a back kick to the throat then gets in several blows. Psychosis comes back with a drop-kick to the knee then knocks Miller out of the ring. He hits a spectacular plancha but takes the brunt of the blow himself. Back in the ring he gatches Miller with a missle drop-kick. He backs off for a moment then grabs a head scissors. Next he goes airborn but is sidestepped and smashed on the mat. Miller stops to pose and is almost pinned but they are wrapped up in the ropes. Psychosis goes for but misses his Guillotine, Miller comes back with a round kick and takes the pin. Cut to commercial.

Alex Wright rants in German then switches to English. He talks trash directed at the British Bulldog then dances for us.

Chavo Guerrero, Jr. vs. Disco Inferno - re-match from Thunder - Disco drops Guerrero then threatens to break Pepe - he thinks better of it and then is attacked and knocked out of the ring. Chavo puncuates it with a plancha. Returning to the ring, Disco retakes the advantage momentarily then the match starts to see-saw. Disco eventually gets control of things but only for a bit - back to see-saw mode until Disco gets a hold of Pepe and uses him as a weapon to take Guerrero out. Juventud Guerrera runs in to protest and gets into it with Disco. He dispatches the dancer and goes to aid Guerrero. Disco comes back in and gets a piledriver on Juvey. Cut to commercial.

Mean Gene introduces the Four Horsemen. Bischoff shows up with Stevie Ray and Doug Dillenger as Ric is getting started. He brings some police officers with him. He accuses Arn of committing "felonious assault" last week and orders the police officers to escort the Horsemen and Dillenger from the building. The fans chant "A**hole!" as the police do their duty. Cut to commercial.

Chris Jericho rants at Goldberg as he heads to the ring with his "security detail" - he seems to be saying that this is a TV Title match - I could swear they said it was for Goldberg's Title. But then, I am not convinced this won't be another Jericho farce. Goldberg's music plays and the World Champ appears carrying the little Goldberg clone!! He goes to the ring and dumps the little guy. Jericho turns around and his mouth drops as he sees his future. So he shoves his security guys at the monster and bails. Goldberg spears them both, tears their shirts off then Jack Hammers one of them. Jericho is long gone. Cut to commecial.

Mean Gene calls Diamond Dallas Page to the ring. This is a lot of build-up for what we know will be an extended squash. Cut to commercial.

Scott Hall (w/Vincent) vs. Kidman - non-title match (obviously) - even with Hall drunk this is a miss-match. Hall actually seems relatively sober tonight. He makes mincemeat out of his opponent from the get-go. He is distracted trying to get his drink from a reluctant Vincent - Kidman gets in a brief flurry then is overwhelmed again. Hall wants his drink but Vincent won't give it too him. He slaps his patented abdominal stretch on Kidman. After a bit he releases the hold then downs Kidman to go out and get a taste. He ends up decking Vincent and then enjoys his beverage until Kidman comes out and attacks him. Back in the ring, Kidman keeps the advantage for another exchange then gets creamed again. The match see-saws. Hall tries twice to get the Outsiders Edge and succeeds the second go round after Vincent tries to interfere and distracts the Cruiserweight Champ. Hall takes the pin. Cut to commercial.

British Bulldog vs. Alex Wright - Wright finally gets the match he has been demanding. Davey Boy makes a rather non-sensical speech before the match. The Bulldog could probably just out-power his opponent but chooses to give him a wrestling lesson instead - until he allows the referee to distract him thus giving Wright the advantage. Wright holds onto it for a while then gets caught climbing the corner. Davey Boy pounds on him then gets dropped onto the top rope. Bulldog comes back with a running powerslam but knocks down the referee in the process. Nobody to count. Bulldog goes to revive the ref, meanwhile a second referee comes to the ring. Wright grabs a belly-to-back and each referee starts counting on one of the competitors. Both guys raise their shoulders up, but the separate refs each think their guy has won. It doesn't seem like they sorted it out as we go to a Nitro Grrrrrl interlude. Spice gets a solo before we cut to commercial.

Brian Adams vs. Kevin Nash - a little boy runs onto the ramp as Nash appears. He scoots away and Tony talks about the lax security with Doug Dillenger absent from the building. Nash takes the early advantage and bulls his opponent into the corner. Adams allows himself to be driven to the opposite corner then explodes back out with a clothesline. Nash is knocked to the floor. The fight out there and Nash re-asserts his authority. Back in the ring Nash consolidates his advantage then Stevie Ray runs in with a blackjack and plugs him. He is held as Hall comes back, pours his drink on the floor and then lays into his former partner. Konnan and Luger run in to break it up. Cut to commercial.

Konnan/Lex Luger vs. Hugh Morrus/Barry Darsow - these are two very formidable opponents but the Wolf Pack is on fire. Jimmy Hart's atempt to interfere is met with a forearm shiver from Konnan. The match is over in no time as Luger puts Darsow in the rack.

Hollywood Hogan vs Bret Hart - this match is touted as historic and actually it is, being the first time Hart and Hogan have ever met one-on-one in the ring. Surprisingly, Hogan enters the ring first. Hart shows no sign of a limp as he approaches the ring. Hart outwrestles his opponent from the beginning of the match. In fact, Hogan foolishly tries to beat Hart at his own game and manages to show us something...but not enough. He switches to his power attack but it is too late and really doesn't help him immediately. The fight goes out to the floor, back inside and then back out agin where Hogan finaly starts to take control. He drops Hart spreadeagle across the railing twice. He attacks the legs of Hart, trying to neutralize the Sharpshooter. He wraps them around the corner post and really grinds on them. Back in the ring he grabs a spinning toehold and wrenches some more on Hart's injured knee. Stings runs in and enters the ring, backing Hogan off. Konnan and Luger restrains Hart from re-entering the ring, meanwhile Sting is restarting the match against Hogan! Hart is strapped ont a gurney and hauled to the back a couple of guys in EMT gear attack the Wolf Pack - it's Bagwell and Scott Steiner. They pound Konnan and Luger down then release Hart who heads back to the ring with a limping gait. Sting gets Hogan int the Scorpion as Hart arrives at the ring, enters and puts a DDT on Sting!! Hogan is bowing to Hart as he attackes Sting savagely, using a chair on his knee and then wrapping his legs arounsd the ring post. Hogan gets in Stings face then pitches his voice high and says, "I Quit!" pretending that it is Sting giving up. Konnan and Luger reappear with bewildered looks on their faces. Luger drags Sting from the ring and they slink away as Hart and Hogan have a good laugh in the ring.

RAW Report

Surrounded by Stooges and police, Vince McMahon comes out to Stone Cold's music. He has the WWF Title belt slung over his shoulder. He takes a mic and rants about how he kept his promise to make Austin lose the Title at the PPV. He declares that there will be no re-match for Stone Cold. A combination "Austin/Bullsh*t" chants starts up as McMahon pronounces tonight as "Stone Cold Steve Austin Night" and alludes to the police "welcoming committee" he has stationed outside, should Austin show up. He then states that a new WWF Champion will be crowned tonight - but not with Steve Austin's belt - which he shows to the camera so we can see the Skull motif that Austin had engraved on it - he says he will present a new, official WWF belt, then dons Austin's belt himself and poses for the crowd on the corners ala Stone Cold. Cut to commercial.

New Age Outlaws vs. Southern Justice (w/Jeff Jarrett) - Tag Team Title match - The Dog has regained his radio-announcer's voice for the intro tonight. He does his thing and so does Billy, then we cut to commercial.

RAW is coming to us live from the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, Michigan. SJ and Jarrett make their entrance as we return. Billy starts with Mark Canterbury and gets squashed early on. Dennis Knight tags in, takes one shot and then tags back out. Billy makes a brief come back then tags in the Dog...who promptly throws away the advantage - this guy is pathetic. Knight is back in and lets the Dog get a tag to Billy. Billy cleans house. About this time, Jarrett throws the guitar into the ring, which the Dog gets and uses on Knight, causing the DQ. Billy is upset at the screw-up and goes nose-to-nose with his partner. X-Pac comes out to try and straighten things out and gets popped in the eye. Billy stalks out, encounters HHH (in a wheelchair) and Chyna on the ramp but brushes past them as JR comments about how he has been "carrying the load" for DX the last several weeks because of injuries within the stable. Cut to commercial.

We get a shot of the outside where the police are keeping an eye out for Austin.

Dan Severen vs. Owen Hart - Submission match - Mike Cole is outside the DX dressing room talking about the argument going on inside. In the ring, Severen grabs the early advantage by spearing Hart - but Owen comes right back with the same treatment. The match is a see-saw affair which Owen brings to and end rather suddenly by Tombstone piledriving Severen. Severen, who seems to be hurt, says he can't move his arms just before we cut to commercial.

Severen is being hauled away as we return. He has a brace on his neck and rides the gurney to the ambulance. They show the piledriver again and it does look like he hit pretty hard.

Vader (w/Sgt. Slaughter) vs. Al Snow (w/Head) - Vader throws Snow to the mat after the first lock-up, so Snow seeks sdvice from his bodyless friend before continuing the match. Vader seenms to have this one in hte bag as he just steamrolls right over his opponent, but Snow keeps coming back and finally scorea a knockdown with a series of clotheslines. Vader still outweighs him be at least 150 pounds and isn't going down easy. Snow makes another comeback, but Slaughter distracts him so that Vader can retrieve his dignity. Snow grabs Head and starts swinging...Vader goes down for the count. We see Billy Gunn leaving the arena for the night before we go to commercial.

Edge vs. Gangrel vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. D-Lo Brown vs. Marc Mero vs. Droz - Six Man, Four Corners match for European Title contention - Edge starts with Gangrel and pins him in a matter of minutes. D-Lo comes in and fares little better. Edge tags in Droz who throws a spectacular flying clothesline then follows up with a flurry that sends D-Lo over to tag Jarrett. Jarrett does much better against the rookie who messes up an attempt at a sleeper. The match falls out to the floor where Droz gets rammed into the ring steps. They are both counted out. Back in the ring it's Mero vs. Edge. Mero gets the drop on his opponent and goes to the top only to be shaken off by Brown. Edge gets a Frankensteiner off the top. D-Lo tries to interfere again and this time he hits Mero by mistake. Edge gets the pin then dives onto D-Lo out on the floor. Back in the ring, Edge is about to end it when Gangrel shows up again with the young stranger from last night. Edge is distracted and pinned. D-Lo gets the Title shot. Cut to commercial.

McMahon enters again with his entourage to present the WWF Title to somebody. There is a display case set up in the ring holding the new belt. He drags out the naming of the "worthy superstar" as long as possible first introducing the Undertaker, and then Kane. Changing UT's music was a major error in my opinion. This new theme really doesn't do him justice. As McMahon rants in the ring, Austin breaks into the arena driving a Zamboni! We lose the audio for several seconds as this takes place. He drives right to the ring (rams it, in fact) and then dives in and flattens McMahon - then pounds on the owner of the WWF until the police manage to subdue him - then he attacks again with handcuffs on!! Some of the police officers are grinning as they take Austin away. So we still don't know who the new Champ is. Austin's and McMahon's audio seem strangely out of sync as they go to the back (maybe that's because neither of them has a mic...) Austin is driven away in a squad car while Vince limps away and we cut to commercial.

Replay of what we just saw. McMahon goes on with his presentation. Now he is renegging on his deal because he claims that the Scarey Brothers have failed to keep Austin off of him. He tells them they will have to fight for the Title at the next PPV (conveniently called "Judgement Day") He also names Austin as the guest referee! he also announces a 3 on 2 handicap match pitting the Brothers against Mankind, Ken Shamrock and the Rock. Before he leaves, UT threatens McMahon with bodily harm if he steps out of line again with them. They turn away and then turn back just in time to see the promoter flipping them off. They attack McMahon then Kane holds off the Stooges while UT grabs a leg submission hold on Vince. They drag him out to the floor and crush his leg, laying it across the bottom section of the ring steps then pounding on it with the top section!! It looks real bad for Vinnie as we cut to commercial.

The second look at the incident as we return shows that UT turned the steel steps slightly so that the corner struck the bottom section - it made a big noise but it didn't touch McMahon's leg at all.

Mark Henry vs. Farooq (w/Chyna as the referee) - Henry knocks Faarooq out to the floor almost immediately. Henry gets the drop on his opponent out on the floor before rolling him back in. Back in the ring, Faarooq delivers a low blow and Chyna administers a fast count. Chyna is served with court papers which she promptly tears up then splits. In the back, McMahon is being loaded into an ambulance.

Shamrock says he hates everybody in the match tonight. Cut to commercial.

Insane Clown Posse sing the oddities to the ring. Golga has a new Cartman doll and seems pleased (if that is possible to see through his mask. The Headbangers are the opponents again. They are taking on Golga and Kurrgan. They start by doubling up on Golga and do a pretty good job of laying him out. Then Thrasher misses an elbow drop giving Kurrgan a chance to tag in. The Bangers grab back the advantage with another team attack until one of the Clowns trips Mosh and causes him to get pinned.

The Rock gets the chance to say his piece, and we get a sleezy interlude with Mr. and Ms. Cheese before we cut to commercial.

Val Venis (W/Terri Runnels) vs X-Pac - European Title match - Waltman has a bandage over his injured eye - that's not going to help him any. Venis has the size advantage in this one and starts using it from the get-go. X-Pac is a game competitor however and turns the tables pretty quickly. Venis comes right back and the eye bandage gets torn off. Now the fight goes into see-saw mode with Waltman pulling ahead until Terri trips him from the outside. Here comes Chyna to even the odds. She shoves Terri away from the ring then confronts Mr. Cheese and attacks him. X-Pac gets in a baseball slide then Chyna really starts laying into the Big Valboski. Waltman is disqulified. As the Cheese people oil around the ring they are interrupted by the Goldust Theme and the voice of Dustin telling Venis, "see, I told you he was coming back..." Golden glitter rains from the ceiling onto the startled couple.

Mankind has his say concerning the coming match as we cut to commercial.

The Scarey Brothers vs. Mankind/Rock/Shamrock - handicap tag team match - Shamrock's stock has really fallen with the fans of late. He enters to almost no reaction. Mankind fares much better. Shamrochk attacks him as soon as he hits the ring. They are supposed to be partners, of course. The Rock gets a sizable pop as the fight in the ring dissapates. Shamrock attacks Maivia as well and the three of them are brawling even before their opponents have been introduced. This match is shaping up to be a handicap affair in the other direction. The Scarey Brothers clear the ring. Mankind and Shamrock battle on the outside while the Brothers gang up on Maivia. The outside guys finally get up to the apron but Mivia is already sinking. He rebounds out of the corner and finally gets the upper hand over Kane. He tags in Foley who starts strong them gets run down. UT and Kane isolate the deranged one for a bit but he finally tags Shamrock in. Shamrock gets a couple of shots in, then Maivia clotheslinses him! Of course, the Rock has nothing to lose here - he's already been declared the #1 contender to the new WWF Title. Shamrock takes it for a while then comes back with a Frankensteiner. Mankind is tagged in and the odds are finally starting to tell against the Scarey Brothers. But they fight back and soon have Mankind isolated again. The fight goes to the outside after several minutes and now they are hitting him with furniture. He is rolled back in but prevents the pin with a foot over the bottom strand. Maivia and Shamrock are arguing across their corner as Mankind gets creamed. Foley manages to down Kane and tags in Maivia who downs Kane again and gets the "People's Elbow" and a two count. Mankind comes in then tags Shamrock who goes for the ankle lock on UT but Kane breaks it up. Now things get confused as Shamrock, Kane and Foley tumble out of the ring. Back inside, Maivia gets a Rock Bottom on the Undertaker and takes the pin. The Scarey brothers are having a little verbal set-to as we fade to black.

Both shows tried hard tonight. RAW carried the bigger punch but Nitro had some surprises as well.

At least that's the way I see it...

Earl Oliver
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