Erich Bischoff does his worst to try and keep the Horsemen out of the United Center last week in the opening video replay. Cut to Nitro Grrrrls in the ring. Nitro is coming to us live from the Target Center in Minneapolis, MN. Ric Flair's home town.
Tony tells us that the Horsemen are on their way to the arena as they speak - and, of course, Bischoff is in the house. Cut to more video replay of Bischoff's humiliation.
Saturn vs. Kaos - Kaos is calling himself "Kenny" Kaos for some reason tonight. Except for the opening moments, he gets very little offense in this match until he manages to dump Saturn over the top rope. Then he makes a critical error by rolling him right back into the ring. He maintains his advantage for a bit longer but he's really not getting in the heavy duty shots. Saturn surprises him in the corner with some kicks upside the head then lays him out with a back kick. A series of suplexes set Kaos up for the DDD and the pin. Cut to Mike Tenay talking to fans about Bischoff's hard times then to commercial.
Mean Gene calls Ernest Miller to the ring then gets upset at his attitude. He hands the mic to Miller and leaves the ring after giving him the "Italian Peace Gesture". Miller rants as usual - challenging "anybody". A "fan" charges the ring and gets downed by security. Miller tells them to let him go - and they do! The "fan" enters the ring and then gets stomped. What the hell was that all about..? Cut to video of the Nash /Hall feud of late then to commercial.
We get a Nitro Party tape as we retrun, cut to the Nitro Grrrrls dancing on the platform then to an nWo propaganda video for Scott Steiner. The announcers want to talk about Chuckie (please don't...) They show us some of his appearance on last week's show. Mean Gene has it right..."That's insanity...that's lunacy" - yeah, and it's really stupid as well.... Cut to commercial.
LWO (Psychosis/Hector Garza/Damien/El Dandy) vs. Chavo Guerrera, Jr./La Parka/LizMark, Jr./Ciclope - typical 8-man Luchadore stuff. At least this time it's pretty easy to remember who is on what side. All the LWO guys are wearing the shirts. The anti-LWO seems to be coming on with more aggression in this one, but the other side has better teamwork. Chavo is clearly the crowd favorite. At one point four of the eight competitors manage to launch themselves one after the other only to crash onto the mat. At the end La Parka starts hitting his own guys with his chair ands the match for his opponents. A new recruit? Eddie Guerrero comes to the ring to induct the new member. Chavo seems to want to join as well, but Eddie ignores him (and his horse). Cut to commercial.
Kanyon vs. Scott (the Putz) Putski - Kanyon comes to the ring on his own for a change. Usual response to his question... Putski must have something on Bischoff - otherwise why does everyone work so hard to put him over before beating him? Kanyon takes his lumps for a couple of minutes then goes to work taking his opponent apart. Putski gets a second short flurry (aided by Kanyon's inexplicable duck of his head) then is creamed by a Flatliner. Cut to HH promo then commercial.
Scott Steiner comes down to rant. First he insults the hometown crowd then brags on his sexual prowess (I think...) He puts Buff down, as usual lately, then challenges anyone from the Vikings to come face him. Rick Steiner appears and lays down some smack of his own. Scott retreats from the ring as Rick enters and demures from Rick's challenge. He finally turns back and goes to the apron then enters and demands a fair fight. Rick decks him then starts beating on him. Scott can't seem to get it together until he delivers a low blow. Now Scott kicks him in the side then goes out for a chair. He whacks Rick on the knee with it then goes to use it again but Buff Bagwell runs in and takes it away. Scott seems to thiat Buff will now turn on Rick but Buff swings the chair at him and he splits. Cut to commercial.
Nitro Grrrls dance on tape and then live as we return.
Goldberg signs autographs to benefit UNICEF.
Fit Finley vs. The British Bulldog - these two bulls start out wrestling straight scientific style. Neither of them seems to be able to grab a lasting advantage. Finley is the first to alter tactics as he stomps his opponent's hand on the mat then delivers several forearms before bouncing his head of the apron. The Bulldog comes roaring back but also knocks the referee down - then Alex Wright runs in a delivers a missle drop kick on the Bulldog. Finley gets the Tombstone and the pin then decks Wright for his trouble.
Mean Gene calls Chris Jericho down for a talk. He brings his geriatric "security man". he claims to have beaten "Dreamberg" three times and challenges him yet again. he says he will "knock the hair right off of the head" of the bald Champion. he then starts ranting at DDP who comes down to answer then rant. He kicks the "security guy" away, denies Jericho's claims then challenges him to a match tonight. Cut to commercial.
Scott Hall, in wrestling gear, carouses at a bar.
Wrath vs. Tokyo Magnum - why bother to decribe this..?
Replay of the Steiner Brothers incident from earlier tonight. Why do I think this is another swerve..?
Dancing Fools vs. Silver King/Super Calo - before the match can get going the Horsemen music plays and AA shows up with Benoit and Malenko. The luchadores turn the match over to them - but the Fools bail out. Erich Bischoff shows up at the broadcast booth to say that the Horsemen are working for free along with the luchadores. In the ring, the Fools have come back and are dominating the actiobn but only for a moment. Malenko takes Disco off his feet but Disco comes back with a neckbreaker. The Fools start to tag in and out - isolating Malenko but then they stop to dance. Benoit is tagged in while they aren't watching and cleans house. He grabs a Crippler Crossface on Disco, Malenko cuts off Wright and th Horsemen have won. AA enters the ring and calls the other Horsemen's attention to Bischoff at the broadcast position. Cut to commercial.
More of Hall at the bar.
Diamond Dallas Page vs. Chris Jericho - TV Title match - Jericho's tactic is to sting and run. He's trying to frustrate Page. Eventually DDP catches him and drops him on his face, but Jericho comes back and drops Page on his, on the turnbuckle. The fight goes to the outside where Jericho cements his advantage. Back in the ring he goes for a series of cavelier covers and fails each time. Page comes back with several punches and a discuss clothesline then a suplex. Jericho comes back with a jawbreaker and a Lionsault and gets two. He goes for a suplex but Page reverses it to drop into an armbar submission then tries a pin. Page stands him up and goes for a Diamond Cutter but is blocked so he turns it into a backslide. Jericho hits a low blow. He goes for the Liontamer but Page throws him off and hits a tilt-a-whirl side slam. Suddenly Goldberg is in the ring and spears Jericho. He goes for a Jackhammer but Page intereferes and delivers a Diamond Cutter instead. Page and the Champ are nose to nose and JJ Dillon is in the ring as we cut to commercial.
Hall seems to be really drunk at the bar...
Kidman vs. Rey Misterio, Jr. - Cruiserweight Title match - Kidman has a definite size advantage in this one but he is also a fantastic flyer. This can only be a great match. He seems to have Misterio's number through the early going. He drops into a reverse chinlock then releases it and applies the boots. He seems content to ground his opponent and that is probably a good strategy. When Misteruio finally hits the air waves he turns the tables immediately. But Kidman reverses it right back. Clearly this is a great young star on the rise. Misterio topples him to the floor and they both appear to have hurt their knees. Back in the ring, Rey hits a quick legdrop but can't get the pin. Kidman breaks free and hits a powerbomb. He grabs the reverse chinlock once again. Then he releases and whips Rey piller to post only to rush into a boot. Kidman is right back and runs down his smaller opponent. They criss cross and Kidman seems about to hit another powerbomb but Rey hits him about the head then levers him over the top to the floor. He follows it with a plancha. Kidman climbs up and meets Rey as he mounts the corner. They struggle for position and Kidman gets hung up and guillotined back into the ring. Still no pin for Rey. Now they are trading forearm shots, which favors the larger man. Rey is down as Kidman attempts...and misses a frog splash. Rey is on the top in a moment. He turns a Frankensteiner attempt into a Thesz press but still can't get the pin. Kidman comes back with a powerbomb but no cigar. He follows with a bulldog and climbs for the Shooting Star - but Rey upsets his balance then Frankensteiners him back into the ring. He gets a two count. They struggle again and Misterio drives Kidman's head into the mat. Still no pin. He climbs the corner and launches himself but Kidman drop-kicks him out of the air. The bell rings - the time limit has expeired. Cut to commercial.
The Sharon Sales Belton, Mayor of Minneapolis presents the Vikings' Kirby Puckett and John Randall and then invites Ric Flair to come down. Flair enters to crowd aclaim, "wooing" his way to the ring. The Mayor makes a proclimation that this is Ric Flair Day in Minneapolis. Ric starts his speech but Bischoff comes down to interfere. They get into an argumant similar to the one he had with General MacArther last week. A police officer escorting the Mayor confronts Bischoff and tells him he will be arrested if lays a hand on anyone. he gives him 20 minutes to vacate the building. In the back he discovers that his Cadillac is being towed!! The policeman mentioned some unpaid parking fines... Cut to commercial.
More Nitro Grrrrls...
Scott Hall/Stevie Ray/Scott Norton vs. Lex Luger/Konnan/Kevin Nash - Nash fails to show up. We finally see him in the back, apparently he is drunk as well!! He's wearing an Outsider's T-shirt as he staggers through the halls. In the ring the match is starting three on two. Nash stumbles out into the arena doing his Scott Hall impression. Hall and Nash seem to be toasting one another! The match gets underway with Konnan and Stevie Ray. Stevie dominates at first but then gets run down as Konnan explodes out of the corner. Both sides exchange and Luger faces and manhandles Scott Norton. Stevie has to distract Luger for Norton to turn the tables. Stevie Ray then comes in to continue the assault. They are tagging in and out and isolating Luger until Luger and Norton criss cross and clothesline each other down. Somehow Hall and Nash are tagged in and drink together. Hall turns his back and Nash rveals that there is nothing in his cup!! It was swerve!! Nash demolishes his former partner who falls out to the floor and is led away by his partners. The match is over. Cut to commercial.
Michael Buffer introduces the main event.
Hollywood Hogan vs. Horace - I guess the fact that these guys are related is what makes this a main event match. Hogan intimidates Buffer out of the ring before he can introduce Horace then calls Horace out. He tells Horace to reveal his last name. Horace says it is Hogan. Hogan then calls out the reat of his thugs to witness what is about to happen. Hogan tells his nephew that he is proud of his and that he loves him. He grabs off his nWo shirt and seems to be about to induct Horace into the group. But it is another swerve (predictably) - he attacks his nephew then whips him with his belt. He goes out to get a chair then hits Horace with it as a message to the Warrior. Medics put Horace on a stretcher but Hogan runs out and overturns the guerney then goes back to the ring to continue his rant against the Warrior. Speak of the devil - the Warrior runs in (sans his duster for a change) with a baseball bat and clears the ring - Hogan bails of course. Then jumps on the apron and distracts his enemy so that the Giant can grab him and chokeslam him. Hogan spraypaints the Warrior then drops the big leg on him. He finishes his rant with the Warrior laying in the ring. Cut to commercial.
Bret Hart comes to the ring to issue a challenge to Sting. He says he has been inspired by Hogan's actions and that he gets no respect from the fans, yatta, yatta... He's decided that the way to get respect is to kick Stings can. Sting comes out, of course, with a big grin on his face. He attacks Hart immediately and this is the real main event. He is all over Bret, throwing him to the floor and following him out to beat on him some more. Back in the ring, he taunts him then nails him. Bret is prone and Sting is stomping on his hands. He scoop slams him and goes for a pin. Then he tries a Vader Bomb type move and meets the upraised knees of his opponent. Now it is all Hart until he tries for a drop of his own and meets the boot of Sting. Sting gets the Scorpion but Hart is in the ropes. But Sting refuses to release the hold. Extra referees come down to try and pull him off, no soap. Then Stevie Ray and Vincent attack but still Sting resists. He finally lets go and wastes both of his attackers. Meanwhile, Hart escapes. The nWo guys retreat as Hart srrumbles up the ramp. Sting comes bounding up and chases them through the entryway as we fade to black.
The opening is a montage of images and sounds from the Austin/McMahon feud. Yes, Steve Austin has been "fired" (whatever that means...)
Black balloons and confetti drop from the ceiling as an ersatz version of "Happy Days Are Here Again" plays. The entire WWF roster troups down to the ring for McMahon's party to celebrate the demise of SCSA. Commissioner Slaughter then appears. The crowd chants "Bullsh*t!" The Mr. McMahon is introduced. He is rolled out onto the platform amidst his entourage (dogs and all) and says he has an important announcement to make concerning the WWF Title. He guarrantees that there will be an undisputed WWF Champion at the end of the Survivor Series. There will be a 16 man tournament to detrmine the new Champ. He shows a freeze frame of Steve Austin's face at the moment he was fired and says that if Austin ever comes back he'll have to buy a ticket. Vince talks about how it felt to fire Austin and concludes that it was better then sex. He then addresses the wrestlers in the ring, saying he hopes they all learned a lesson from the events of last night. He quotes "McMahon 3:16" - "I've got the brass to fire your a$$." Suddenly a live shot of Austin appears on the the TitanTron wearing hunting gear and toting a assault-style hunting rifle. Cut to commercial.
Mr. McMahon is being wheeled down a back hallway as we return. He orders the Bossman to collect his family and get sthem out of town then says he wants to the camera to stay there for documentation of what happens tonight.
Ken Shamrock vs. X-Pac - non-title match - video from earlier shows DX hanging out with Motley Crue. Shamrock attacks X-Pac from the blindside just as the bell sounds. They keep switching back to McMaohn and his toadies as the match continues. In the ring the IC Champ is dominating the European. Police officers guys appear ringside and arrest Chyna! They put her in handcuffs and haul her away. In the ring X-Pac makes a brief comeback then gets squashed again. He breaks free and goes for the bronco buster but Shamrock moves out of his way then comes back with a suplex. As Shamrock is taking control, Mankind comes down to ringside to distract Shamrock. He gets his clock cleaned but gives X-Pac the chance to get the win. In the back, Chyna is put into a unmarked police car and driven away. Officers warn DX off then approach Austin sitting in his SUV. They inspect his side-arm (a .38 special) then ask him for his autograph! McMahon is having a fit as he watches this go down... Cut to commercial.
Head Bangers vs. LOD 2000 (Droz/Animal) (w/Hawk) - the Headbangers come to the ring and do their own version of the NAO intro - ending with, "We've got two words for you - you suck!" LOD dominates the opening moments but then the Bangers apply their superior teamwork. It doesn't last long for them as the Roadies come right back. Suddenly Hawk distracts Droz and causes him to get pinned. Back to the McMahon entourage - the remaining guys all decide to leave him while they go get coffee. He can't believe it! Neither can I... Cut to commercial.
McMahon sits alone in his office until "Mr. Socko" pokes his head in the door. McMahon is actually happy to see Mick Foley.
The Undertaker makes an entrance with Paul Bearer. JR reminds us that Bearer turned his back on Kane last night. Of course, UT can now trust him, right? UT makes a speech explaining that he and Bearer have reconciled saying, "Brother Paul has returned to lead my ministry of Darkness." He calls PB a visionary and calls this the beginning of a new era. He talks in riddles - not unlike the Warrior actually. Paul Bearer addresses Kane calling him "stupid" and "weak". UT then reveals that he did set the fire that maimed his brother because Kane was weak. Kane's music rolls out and here comes UT's "little" brother pushing a casket. He uses his voice box to challenge UT to a casket match tonight. Backstage Mr. Socko has donned a security badge. Mankind is suggesting that Mcmahon hire Austin back so they can all be a "clique" (him, McMahon, Austin and Mr. Socko). McMahon vetoes the idea so Foley suggests they play some game and starts rooting around in the plastic trashbag he brought along. Cut to commercial.
McMahon is chewing out Foley as we return - he throws him out of the office.
Steve Blackman vs. Jeff Jarrett (w/Debra McMichael) - Mrs. Mongo makes her debut on RAW looking more serious (in a business suit) then we remember her. She also wears a rug. Blackman is fast and very fluid but Jarrett largely outwrestles him between martial arts blows. We don't get to know who would have won because the Blue Blazer runs in a spoils the match by attacking Blackman. Jarrett retrieves his guitar and goes to use it on his creamed opponent but Al Snow runs in only to be distracted by Debra then hit from behind with the guitar. Cut to McMahon's office where the phone is ringing. Vince hesitates to answer and when he does it's Austin saying, "Times up you sorry b*stard..." Cut to commercial.
McMahon is on the phone questioning his driver in the parking lot who says he can't see Austin outside. Vince orders him to back the car up to the door and have the back door open for him - he's coming out. Vince cautiously rolls out to the limo and starts to get in but Austin appears from the other side with a hunting bow. McMahon tries to roll away but Austin tells him to freeze then goes and retreives him. He starts wheeling him into the building. The chair overturns but Austin forces him back into it. He takes him back to his office, wheels him in and slams the door behind him. Cut to commercial.
Austin is tormenting Vince in his office. He questions him about his hunting experience. Vince says he's been on a safari but only took pictures. Austin taunts him with a rather small hunting knife.
The Rock vs. D-Lo Brown (w/Mark Henry) - D-Lo has little chance in this one - plus he has Henry to distract the referee while Maivia gets in illegal shots. He does manage to toss the Rock out to the floor where Henry gets in a shot or two then rolls him back in. D-Lo then misses an elbow drop and blows his advantage. The People's Elbow is wasted when D-Lo gets a thumb into Maivia's eye but then the Rock comes back with that Rock Bottom to get the pin. Henry and D-Lo gang up after the match and Henry gets in a couple of his big splashes. In the back, Austin is still showing off his knife. Cut to commercial.
Now Austin is starting to demonstrate his hunting bow...
Tiger Ali Singh excoriates the crowd concerning their eating habits. Babu is bar-b-qing pigs intestines (Kilbassa). Singh offers $500 to anyone who will come up and swallow Babu's sausage whole. A very buxom woman wearing a circus top answers the call. She turns out to be a sword swallower. The Godfather struts out and claims that the sword swallower used to be one of his "garden implements". He's here to collect his cut. Singh tosses Babu to the wolf. Babu gets slammed then officials run in to prevent a brawl.
In the back, Austin has shot an arrow into a picture on the wall. He asks Vince if he's ever seen "Deliverence" then orders McMahon to "squeal like a pig" - Vince starts yelling "Oink! Oink!" and we go to sell something.
Now Austin is asking Vince if he ever saw "Misery" - Vince starts yelling "Help!" so Austin tapes his mouth and upper body with duct tape, then goes looking for a sledge hammer.
Mankind vs. Val Venis (w/Terri Runnels) - I can't imagine that either Shamrock or Goldust (or both) won't interrupt this one. Mr. Cheese is still smarting from last night, his gyrations are stilted. During the match he definitely seems hobbled - but then Foley is hurting as well. Val manages to dominate the early going, but we all know how much punishment Mankind can absorb. Of course, Venis also manages to crotch himself on the second rope thus throwing it to Foley. He puts his opponent down then dons Mr. Socko ad grabs the Mandible Claw. As I suspected, Shamrock runs in with a chair and whacks Foley on the knee about this time. Val gets the pin. Mankind attacks Shamrock in the aisle and they battle into the crowd. Then Goldust makes an appearance on the TitanTron - Mr. Cheese has made himself a dangerous enemy...Terri whispers something in Val's ear that appears to shock him.
In the back, Austin is lecturing McMahon, telling him that he has big plans for him and they will be carried out tonight. Cut to commercial.
Austin decides they should watch some TV. He wants McMahon to choose either Kane or the Undertaker in the upcoming Casket Match. Vince declines at first but then picks Kane. Austin says that if Kane wins then they will "do things the easy way" but if he loses they will "do things the hard way, the Steve Austin way..."
Kane vs. The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) - Casket Match - Kane goes right on the attack and dominates the first exchange. He chokes UT in the corner then slings him across the ring. UT meets him rushing in with a back elbow. The match goes right into see-saw mode. UT clotheslines Kane over the top and into the casket, but Kane drags him in there with him. They trade blows then sink into the box. The lid is lowered and they can be seen breaking the casket up from inside it! This is basically a very flimsy coffin. They spill out onto the floor where Kane gets the upper hand and then starts after Paul Bearer. UT catches up to him on the ramp, hits him with a chair and stomps him silly. He and Bearer disappear through the entry way followed by Kane with the chair. Back to Austin and McMahon - Steve figures Vince has lost the bet so he is getting ready to take the boss somewhere... but we leave them to go sell something.
Austin wheels McMahon toward the arena floor. The announcers kill time as we wait for them to appear somewhere. They finally show up coming through the entryway and down to the ring. Vince is forced to drag himself into the ring. Austin has them play back Vince's speech from the beginning of the program. McMahon is on his knees and weeping. He tucks a letter into Vince's breast pocket to read later, then forces him to look at the screen. McMahon's face is there in real time. Austin pulls his gun, points it at Vinces head and fires it...it's a toy with a flag that reads "Bang 3:16". He stands Vince up and it looks like he has peed his pants. Austin says as much then stuns him. He celebrates some with th crowd then delivers another stunner before we fade to black.
I'll be back Thursday with the Thunder Report and a new installment of Joseph Holt's column, "From the Top Rope..." Until then...
At least that's the way I see it...
Editor, Solie's Wrestling Newsletter
This page is a personal tribute and is in no way connected to any of the wrestling promotions mentioned on it. It is dedicated to the Dean of Wrestling announcers, Gordon Solie. Copyright 1998 - Jump City Productions