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Solie's Tuesday Morning Report

Monday Night Wars Edition

Nitro Report

Psychosis is the new Cruiserweight Champ!

RAW Report

Sunday Night Heat Overview

Volume 4, Issue 453 - April 19, 1999
Editor's Note: I'd like to thank all of you who have been checking out the merchandise available from via my on-line Storefront (notice how I snuck that plug in there...) Last week I made just a shade under ten dollars - so, while it isn't exactly a gold mine, the Storefront (oops! there I go again... :-) promises to at least help to pay some of the out of pocket expenses I deal with each month in keeping this place alive.

Sunday Night Heat Overview

We get a video montage that outlines the latest twist in the Corporation storyline - Shane McMahon is kicking his dad out...again"...the slap heard 'round the World (Wrestling Federation). It is the "dawning of a new era..." according to Mike Cole and his sidelick The new boss comes down to the ring - the "A$$hole" chant is subdued. He admits to owing "Vince" an apology and goes into a long rant on the subject which comes to an abrupt end when he says" did I feel when I slapped my father..? It felt great!!!" He turns his attention to Steve Austin - who has Shane as special referee for the next PPV title defense. He tries really hard to convince us all that he's tougher then his dad...

Ken Shamrock faced his first big test of fire since quitting the Corporation - in a handicap match against Test and the Big Bossman. As could be expected, Test was the weak link for their team - and Bossman wasn't helpful by refusing a tag at key moments. In fact he abandoned the ring and left his partner in an ankle lock submission hold. Backstage, X-Pac is expressing his hope that Kane will show up in time for their Title defense later in the program.

Backstage, Test and Bossman are arguing - Shane sides with the Bossman and tells Test he is screwing up...again...

Tiger Ali Singh can't believe that the crowd doesn't like him. He makes depreciating remarks about his dress, nationality and etc. His saving grace is that he has money...he offers $500 cash to any woman who will kneel in front of him and massage his feet. PMS decides to take the challenge. They pretend to agree then have a problem when he wants to split the money two ways - $250 each. They grab his legs and hold him while a new-comer (Sean Stasiak - son of the wrestling legend Stan "the Man" Stasiak) runs in from the crowd and cleans house on him. They (Stasiak and the girls) leave Singh laying in the ring.

Jim Ross interviews the Rock regarding his situation with Steve Austin. He is in complete denial, as usual. "Austin is nothing, etc. yatta yatta yatta..." He vows to end Austin's career at Backlash and says he doesn't care who the referee is.

The Brood comes to the ring then we cut to a video presentation on the Ministry of Darkness/Brood storyline. Christian, Edge and Gangrell face Mideon and Viscera in a handicap tag team match. The Ministry guys dominate the match-up until Viscera misses a splash. Mideon falls out followed by Edge while C&G double team on Viscera in the ring. The Acolytes run in to aid their cohorts and spoil the match.

Sable comes out to shake her boody in a black sheath dress. Mike Cole interviews her in the ring. She toots her own horn regarding her current popularity then introduces us (formally) to her new personal bodyguard, woman bodybuilder, Nicole Bass, then gives us a grind or two to keep us happy.

X-Pac heads for the ring alone to face The Rock and HHH (w/Chyna) for the World Tag Team Titles. Kane is still a no-show at this point. Waltman's opponents are already waiting in the ring when he makes his entrance. The challengers attack as X-Pac enters the ring. HHH is ushered out and X-Pac manages to dominate them for about 2 1/2 seconds. Then, as he is in bad shape - the lights go out and here comes Kane! He cleans house then the Pissed Brothers show up followed by the New Age Outlaws. All of the extraineous players disappear along with the challengers leaving X-Pac to try and make contact with his illusive partner. He seems to have some limited success.

Nitro Report

Goldberg arrives in th parking lot vowing to have a World Title match with DDP tonight. Cut to the "Rachmannn" with his DJ friend and some girls from the crowd.

We get Nitro Grrrrrls in red vinyl to start the show. Nitro is live from Gainesville, Florida.

The Armstrong Brothers vs. The Horsemen (w/Arn Anderson) - Steve Armstrong is wearing his old "Southern Boys" trunks with the pistols on the butt tonight. The Armstrongs actually dominate much of the early action in this one. But eventually Arn gets involved and changes the odds substantially. Malenko and Benoit have been wrestling in the classic Horsemen style lately, with help from the outside, of course, but like Arn and Tully - they are also superb competitors so it all holds up very well. Everytime the brothers start to get something together, another cheap shot tactic slows them down. They are plenty game, however, so they stay in it almost to the end. Steve gets a big bulldog on Malenko late in the match which allows Scott to tag in and clean house for a bit. Meanwhile Steve has been pulled off the apron and is pummeled by Arn. This leaves Scott to battle his opponents on his own - a recipe for disaster. The Texas Cloverleaf tells the tale. In the back, Piper looks over some paperwork and seems pleased - why am I sure this has someting to do with Arn Anderson's worries last week..? Cut to commercial.

Savage and his lady arrive backstage where they are met and barred from the arena by Doug Dillenger - Roddy Piper intervenes and says he will take the responsibility for letting them in. Mean Gene interviews Diamond Dallas Page who pauses to wish Hollywood Hogan a speedy recovery. He is asked about Goldberg - he says Goldberg needs to get "focused" and stop getting carried away with his Title quest. Page says he wants to put the Title up tonight...but..."that's not going to happen..." Oops! Here comes Goldberg and I'll bet he begs to differ. Sure enough - he goes nose-to-nose with Page who then agrees to take the match. Cut to commercial.

Piper and David Flair are conferring backstage over the "paperwork" - they seem to be planning to commit Ric Flair to a hospital for observation. They throw it to Mean Gene backstage who heads Page off to get a clarification about tonight's main event. He then has the truck roll footage of Page appearing to cause the injury for which Hogan is undergoing surgery this week. Page doesn't care to comment.

Psychosis vs. Blitzkreig vs. Juventude Guerrera vs. Rey Misterio, Jr.- Four-way match for the Cruiserweight Title - Alex Wright sits ringside dressed in black, with his mohawked hair died black, a black beard and shades. Psychosis and Juvie can be seen making an agreement to cooperate early in the introduction period. They follow this course faithfully throughout the early going but it falls apart when Juvie nails Pyschosis "accidently". Psychosis turns on his "partner" and demolishes him then faces a coordinated attack from Rey and Blitzkreig! They both fall out of the ring while the real battle goes on between Rey and Blitzkreig until the latter gets thrown to the floor. Juvey re-enters and it becomes a three-way, then a four-way again. Now the two masked mena re at it on the floor while the two "unmasked" men wage war on each other. Juvie gets a DDT then walks away so Psychosis goes for the pin on the Champ but Juvie turns back and breaks that up. Things are really moddled as we cut to commercial.

All four are in the ring as we return - feet are flying and so are various bodies. Juvie dive bombs Blitzkreig and Rey who are recovering on the floor then Psychosis does the same and gets all three of his opponents. Rey gets a powerbomb on Juvie but both of the other guys are right there to break it up. They are starting to stumble around the ring in utter fatigue. Now the pattern seems to be that two will go at it while the other two lie in semi-consciousness. But still, the downed guys keep getting up in time to make the save for each pin attempt. Rey begins to pull ahead but pauses to showboat and spoils his drive. Blitzkreig - the only one who isn't playing to the crowd - almost gets a pin on Psychosis. The crowd is getting a little restless as the match goes on and on. In the ring, Psychosis and Blitzkreig struggle for position on the top corner. Psychosis gets the upper hand and then drops his Guillotine and gets the pin! Psychosis is the new Cruiserweight Champ!

Mean Gene invites El Presidente Flair to the ring for some palaver. Flair is cockier then ever, of course. I'm dying to see what Piper has in store for him. First Flair has to do his schtick and offer Gainesville a round of drinks. Yup, here comes Piper... Flair looks a little put out at the interruption. He stumbles over his lines and declares that he is still the Champion. Piper tells him he's getting senile and mentions that Flair has been signing papers he hasn't read... He tells Flair he needs to step down as president. Flair protests but Piper starts running down Flair's bizarre behaviour as of late (actually, what he talks about are things that happened before Flair was president for life). So, Flair starts taking off his clothes to show that he is still out of his head. Piper draws a paper out of his inside pocket as Flair is declaring himself the president of "the United States..." Mean Gene is asked to read the paper out loud. It is a commitment order - to put Flair away - to be executed by Piper with the assistance of his son David. Flair responds by firing Piper then saying that he is "giving Florida back the National Title from Tennessee..." Piper then announces that one of the paper's Flair signed is a contract to wrestle Kevin Nash tonight! Arn passes out!!! Piper says he's not fired, Flair says he is - but first he has to fight Flair at Slamboree for control of the company. Piper says "fine" and tries to leave. Flair follows him to the floor and then gets decked when Piper lets him have it in the aisle. Cut to commercial.

Brian Knobbs vs. Hak - Kendo Stick vs. Trashcan match - well, that's what Tony called it. Knobbs, late of the Nasty Boys is out to be the new king of hardcore. Oh, I see - it's Knobbs' trashcan vs. Hak's kendo stick. This brawl goes to the floor immediately. Hak gets the upper hand for a moment and uses the time to throw a table into the ring. Now a ladder comes into play which Hak uses then throws it into the ring as well as a new trashcan. The ring is strewn with all kinds of stuff as they finally return to it. Hak bulldogs his opponent onto the ladder then sets up his table. Knobbs is placed on it and Haks heads skyward - only to miss his victim and almost get pinned. Knobbs drapes the ladder over his head and spins it like a propeller to down his foe. He stops to jaw at the referee and fails to see Hak getting back up. Hak uses the trashcan again then positions Knobbs on the ladder and prepares to fly - but Bam Bam Bigalow runs out and whacks him with his own kendo stick. He falls headfirst onto the ladder which allows Knobbs to get the pin.

The nWo B-Team takes out Konnan on his way into the building. as we return. This DJ is very annoying... The Nitro Grrrrrls dance some more - to rap music this time.

Randy Savage makes a speech in the back then introduces Medusa Micelli as the trainer for his girl George. Cut to commercial.

The B-Team's conversation is interrupted by Kevin Nash who is in turn is interrupted by Scott Steiner who wants Nash's title shot at the PPV. Nash says, "No way, Jose..."

Buff Bagwell comes to the ring and demands a US Title shot vs. Steiner at the PPV. He reminds Steiner that he is not Buff and he is not the stuff...

Disco Inferno vs. Buff Bagwell - I guess this is Bagwell's "tune-up" match... Disco attacks before the bell to take the early initiative. Bagwell overwhelms his opponent moments later and forces him out of the ring. Disco returns and is again dumped out to the floor. He uses his second return to catch Bagwell sleeping the follows up in a fury. Disco dominates the next several minutes. Then he stops to showboat and throws away the advantage. The match goes into see-saw mode. Rather suddenly, Buff reverses a "Last Dance" into his own finisher, "the Blockbuster" and gets the pin. Cut to commercial.

Scott Steiner comes to the ring with three young lovelys. He rants about Bagwell's perfidy - reminds Buff that he has no friends in the promotion and calls him a "Chippendale" dancer, rechristening him "Boy" Bagwell. Cut to commercial.

Tony is being drowned out by the crowd as he talks about the Savage/Flair feud. More Nitro Grrrrls dancing in the ring with chairs as props. Then we get some more of the DJ. His equipment appears to fail him at the end of his performance. Cut to commercial again.

Kidman vs. Raven (w/Saturn) - this should be interesting if Saturn will stay out of it... Raven has a big size advantage but Kidman is so quick and so sound that it evens things out considerably. Saturn confines himself to calling "Go Rave..." from time to time. Raven gets his usual chair into the ring and drops Kidman onto it face-first (again as usual). Even as Kidman gets ready to throw a Shooting Star press, Saturn stays out of it, but Raven gets the chair on top of himself and takes Kidman out. At that moment the Horsemen run in followed by Rey Misterio. The Horsemen are ejected, then Saturn and Rey get it on, then the Horsemen run back in. Fade to video of Piper reading the commitment order against Flair earlier tonight.

Scott Norton vs. Scott Steiner - US Title match - this was supposed to be Konnan's shot - but we saw what happened to him. Steiner stops to shake the Weasel's hand then leans in to intimidate Tony. These guys are both gigantic specimins. Steiner dominates the initial confrontation but then Norton recovers and knocks the Champ out of the ring. Back inside he continues to thwart Steiner's power moves until the latter applis a low blow. They tumble out to the floor where Steiner cements his advantage. Back inside it is all Steiner. Norton is pounded into the corner. Steiner walks away and then comes back to find Norton back into it. Norton grabs him for a piledriver but straightens up and pokes the referee in the eye. Steiner hits two low blows then a belly-to-belly suplex to get the pin. Cut to commercial.

Kevin Nash vs. Ric Flair (w/AA) - Nash makes a speech after his entrance - he promises Hollywood Hogan that he will "break DDP's back" when the time is right. We cut to more video from earlier then to commercial before Flair makes his entrance.

Flair enters with Arn as we return. He has his private referee for this one, as usual. Flair finds out early on that he can't knock Nash off his feet so he better try something else. That doesn't work either... He tries to lure Nash out to where Arn can lend a hand but Nash stands his ground in the ring. Flair is back and is overwhelmed for the third time in the match. Robinson would love to intevene but he is intimidated by Big Sexy. Arn gets hold of Nash's leg and gives Flair a chance to turn the tables. He and Flair run the big guy's legs into the corner post. Arn comes right into the ring to do his dirty-work and Robinson doesn't turn a hair. Flair tells the referee to "check the time" then kicks Nash a good one in the groin (ouch!!!) He starts working on the left leg. He distracts Robinson again while Arn pummels Nash from the apron. Nash comes to life rather suddenly and is on the offensive again. Flair is knocked to the floor and followed out by Nash who rolls the ex-champ back inside. Flair back pedals to sucker Nash in and almost succeeds but Nash is way ahead of him. He puts Flair down then turns and knocks Arn off the apron. He then puts the jack knife on Flair - but Robinson leaves the ring!! Here comes Gorgeous George - she downs Robinson and steals his shirt. Then she enters the ring and counts the unconscious Flair out. Flair is stretchered away under the watchful eye of AA. Piper taunts him as they roll his carcass through the backstage area to the waiting ambulance - only it isn't an ambulance - the sign on the van says "Central Florida Mental Hospital." Arn and Flair are freaking out as Piper continues to taunt Flair about "basket weaving" and the like. Cut to commercial.

This whole thing about getting Flair's minor son's signature on the commitment order was just ludicrous of course.

Dusty Rhodes has joined the bradcast team for the next match.

Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page - World Title match - Page collides with th brick wall twice then gets an armdrag to start the match. Goldberg pops right to his feet then knocks the Champ to the floor. Page re-enters the ring in a hurry but Goldberg is out-wrestling him besides being about twice his size. Page knocks his challenger down with a shoulder block then gets speared. He comes roaring back and surprises the announcers and Goldberg with his intensity. He goes for the front chancillry to try and slow the monster down. Goldberg escapes and gets a FC of his own then makes it into a supplex. Page is blocked in a Diamond Cutter attempt (the second one so far). He gets a bigg clothesline that tumble both out to the floor. Back in the ring, page tries for a pin but fails. A reverse kick stands Page in the corner. Goldberg sets up for the spear but Page isn;t coming out to him. He tries it anyway and Page sidesteps. Goldberg hits the post hard. Page produces a weapon and uses it. Goldberg pops up again and spears Page and the referee. Now Goldberg has the pin but the referee is out cold. Page uses the brass knucks again and knocks his opponent to the floor. He pounds on him some more then sets up the stairs so that he can smash a chair against Goldberg's leg. The referee comes to and tries to intervene - he gets thrown against the railing. Page is going for the figure four around the post when Kevin Nash runs down and saves his cookies. Page hits Nash with the Title belt then splits - no running through the crowd this time...

RAW Report

Lots of footage of past events open the program. Rocky Maivia drives a hearse into the arena then debarks and enters the ring. His chest is bare under his suit jacket. He claims to have gotten rid of Austin last week and now he intends to conduct a funeral for the World Champ. He has a grave dug in a mound of dirt on th arena floor. He rants on as the crowd chants "Austin! Austin!" A camera outside awaits the arrival of Stone Cold. Cut to commercial.

Mr. McMahon confers with a security officer somewhere (in the studio, according to JR)

Road Dogg vs. Owen Hart (w/Debra) - on paper this is a squash match - despite his popularity, Jesse James still can't wrestle his way out of a paper bag. But he has been getting a push lately - this match is for a shot at the Tag Team Titles. The Dogg stipulates that he wants to see Debra's "puppies" if he wins the match. True to form, Owen soon takes control of the action. Lawler finds himself supporting the Dogg in this one just in the off chance that he might get to see Debra's boobs. And sure enough, the Dogg pulls it off with a pump handle slam. Debra seems happy to remove her top but Jeff Jarrett runs in with his guitar to interrupt the festivities. Meanwhile, the Undertaker is sending the Acolytes out to take care of the brood. Cut to commercial.

The Rock is rehearsing his eulogy for Austin in the back. Out front the Brood are making their entrance.

The Brood vs. The Acolytes - Christian sits this one out. The Acolytes start strong but the match soon settles into a see-saw job. Edge and Gangrel seem to have tag teamwork. But the Acolytes are all intense, brutal power and they continue to dominate the match. They are isolating Gangrel now. He comes back with a DDT then gets the tag. Edge knocks Faarooq down then is downed in turn by Bradshaw. He is about to piledrive Edge when Ken Shamrock runs in with his bat and starts laying into the Acolytes. The match is thrown out. Backstage, UT is livid that the Acolytes have "failed him..." If he keeps this up it's going to be a Ministry of one... Cut to commercial.

During the break, the Acolytes were attacked by other Ministry members.

The Godfather makes his first appearance as the Intercontinental Champion. He brings a passel of "garden tools".

Hardcore Holly vs. The Godfather - Intercontinental Title match - there is no offer from the Godfather on this one. Holly clearly is outmatched from the get go. He doesn;t seem to understand that this isn't a hardcore match. The ref gets knocked down before the Champ can get the pin. Holly goes out to get a weapon and uses it while the referee is on the deck. He comes back in with a chair but gets it kicked in his face. Goldust runs in and attacks the Godfather while Al Snow runs in and clocks Holly with Head. Godfather gets the pin despite Goldust's best efforts. In the back, UT is on the phone to Mideon telling him, "don't you fail me..." Stepahnie and her dad are getting readyu to be interviewed. Cut to commercial.

The Rock gets his shoes shined while he performs a monologue.

Ken Shamrock vs. The Big Bossman - No Holds Barred match - Shamrock meets his opponent in the aisle and the brawl is on. Bossman is getting the worst of it right off the bat. But then he asserts his size advatage and turns the tables. Shamrock is on the receiving end of some big shots then shoots out of the corner with a back elbow - but Bossman uses his size again to grab the initiative back. Shamrock takes it some more then comes back with a Frankensteiner and a suplex...and then the lights go out. The Undertaker appears on the TitanTron and reveals that he knows where to find Ryan. Shamrock bails and we cut to commercial.

Shane's stooges join the broadcasters for the next match.

Mankind vs. HHH (w/Chyna) - Foley has little trouble dominating the former head of DX - but then there is Chyna on the outside to count into the mix. She hands the advantage to HHH then stays close to lend a hand from time to time. Once he has the advantage, HHH is relentless but Foley is still in it. The battle out to the floor where Foley runs HHH into the steps then HHH returns the favor. Back inside, HHH maintains his advanateg and then ges for a Pedegree - but Foley blocks it and then lays HHH out. He dons Mr. Socko but Chyna grabs him abnd drags him to the post. The bell is sounded and the Corporation descends on Mankind. HHH is going for the Pedegree on a chair when Paul Wight shows up. He chokeslams Test while the rest of the thugs split. Mankind gets a mic and reminds Wight that they still have a boiler room match on Sunday. Maivia is waiting out in the parking lot for Austin to show up. Cut to commercial.

Billy Gunn vs. Jeff Jarrett (w/Debra) - this is a pretty even match-up. Billy has the size advantage while Jarrett has an experience edge. Owen Hart walks over and interferes almost as soon as the match starts so the Road Dogg runs in to even the odds. The experience factor shows when Billy goes for a drop-kick but Jarrett puts on the brakes. As Billy comes back and goes for a pin, Debra bares her bra on the apron to distract him. He moons her but the distraction worked. Billy is being punked while Debra goes ahead and strips off her top. In the back Maivia is rfusing an interview while Vince and Stephanie wait for their segment. Cut to commercial.

The Big Show vs. Viscera - this match points up just how huge Wight really is. He dwarfs the gigantic Mabel who fights back valiantly but to no avail in the end. One good giant shot in the corner puts him in limbo. Wight hiplocks him out of the corner. Viscera comes back for a while then Wight puts him down again...then the lights go out. Here come the Underaker and Paul Bearer. UT enters the ring and goes nose-to-nose with Wight. UT attacks first but Wight fights him off. UT grabs a choke but Wight reaches right past it to slap on one of his own. Viscera is back in to help, then Mankind runs down to help fight them off. UT splits while leaving his minoin to the wolves. In the parking lot we are still waiting for Austin to show up. Cut to commercial.

Stephanie and Vince McMahon are interviewed from a TV studio somewhere. Vince aknowledges that he might not have been there for Shane when he was growing up. Stephanie expresses confusion about her brother's behaviour of late. Suddenly a security guy tells Vince they have a problem. He runs out and finds Mideon in the parking lot and attacks him then tries to hit him with a car, Mideon commandeers the car and beats a hasty retreat - another failure for UT to punish... Cut to commercial.

We get a replay of what just happened as we return.

Val Venis vs. Sable?? - Sable comes to the ring after Val makes his entrance. She declares there will be "no grind tonight" but she has an announcement. She tells th crowd she will be shooting another session for Playboy. Ivory and D'Lo show up at this point and Ivory goes right after Sable. D'Lo attacks Val and here comes Nilcole Bass. She grabs Ivory and chokeslams her as the brawl goes on out on th floor. D'Lo carries his companion away wih Sable's outraged shrieks ringing in his ears. Cut to commercial.

The main event tonight is Austin's funeral as conducted by the Rock. The eulogy is sprinkled with the usual compliment of Rock cliches. Meanwhile Steve Austin drives up outside. He commandeers the Rock's car and positins it just right then runs over it with his 3:16 monster truck!! He then drives into the arena to crack a Steveweiser. The Rock is foiled again as Austin runs right over the hearse for good measure. They have a knock-down-drag-out brawl by the graveside in which Austin creams the Rocks roody-poo candy a$$ then dumps him into the grave. He cracks another beer and sprays it on the Rock. He has his custom belt in hand. Shane McMahon runs up and bops the Rattlesnake with a shovel. Fade to black.

I'll be back on Thursday night with the Thunde report and the second installment of my exclusive Ricky Steamboat interview. Until then...

At least that's the way I see it...

Earl Oliver
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