X-Pac/Kane vs. The Hardey Boyz (w/Michael Hayes) - this is a tune-up for the Hardey's Tag Team Title match on tomorrow night's taped RAW program. Jeff starts the match against X-Pac who dominates the early going. A little judicious double teaming turns that situation around. They knock Kane off the apron - he then tangles with Hayes on the outside. But X-Pac holds his own on the inside until Kane returns to the ring and breaks up the double team action. X-Pac gets his finishe and the pin on Jeff Hardey just before the Acolytes hit the ring. They start to beat up on the Hardeys but find they also have to contend with Kane and X-Pac. In the end Bradshaw throws the ring steps into the ring then ends up getting Tombstoned onto them by Kane (ouch!). Cut to commercial.
The Undertake and Paul Bearer come to the ring to rant at Steve Austin. He says he's out for blood now and wants a rematch at Fully Loaded. A First Blood Match (hopefully it will be more up-and-up then the last "First Blood " match we saw...
Mideon vs. Al Snow - European Title match - Mideon is introduced as the European Champion - is a taped interview he tells us he has been awarded the title as a reward for years of loyal service. The match is barely underway when D-Lo Brown comes down to scope out the current holder of "his" belt. In the ring, Mideon is dominaing the action. He stops to throw an insult at the former champ at ringside and it seems to distract his concentration. He starts to lose control of things but is just recovering when D-Lo runs in and attacks him. Snow loses due to outside interference.
Terry Taylor asks Stephanie about her relationship with Test. She tells him, and her brother to butt out. She also lets slip Test's real first name (Andrew).
Test vs. Jeff Jarrett - Intercontinental Title match - Test is showing us more and more each time he wrestles. He dominates Jarrett during the early going. The Champ bails then uses a shortcut to get his challenger out on the floor where he can turn the tables. Back inside, Jarrett is hitting on oll eight cylinders until he takes it back to the floor. This time Test gets the upper hand and rolls Jarrett back in before noticing a member of the Mean Street Posse at ringside. He abandons the match to drag the miscreant over the railing and starts pounding on him until the rest of the Posse show up and attack. Cut to commercial.
Bob (the Big Shooter/Idiot) Holly comes to the ring and demands that someone over 6'6" and 400lbs. come down and face him in the ring. Viscera answers his challenge. Could this be a strange take-off on the Rey Misterio Jr. "Giant Killer" angle? Viscera squashes Holly (literally) until he manages to move out of the way of a big splash. He leaves the ring and gets a chair with which he levels Viscera with two big shots. Now he's challenging Kane again! Kane answers the call as well and immediately chokeslams the Idiot. Here comes Paul Wight heading for the ring...wait...now the Undertaker is coming out too! UT enters the ring and stands across from his brother while Wight stares at he two of them from the aisle. He retreats but indicates that he will take them both on at some point. UT and Kane don't seem to communicate at all and then UT leaves the ring. Cut to commercial.
Terry Taylor interviews the Big Show about what just happened. He vows to take on UT and Kane either separately and together.
Val Venis/Godfather vs. Droz/Prince Albert - gimmick match - lets see if I have this right - if Val and GF win, then get the other two as "Garden Tools for a day" - if the Droz & Co. win - they get to pierce Val on whatever part of his anatomy they choose...OK.... n paper this is a no brainer. Droz is a rank amateur while his opponent is not much better...but this is pro-wrestling. Never-the-less, the match is very short and ends when the Godfather pins Droz after his partner accidently brais him with his tattoo case. In the back, Test is interviewed by Terry Taylor who asks the same question he asked of Stephanie...and gets the same answer. Test wants to take on Joey Abbs tomorrow night on RAW.
The Road Dogg vs. The Big Show - Jesse James definitely looks nervous as the monster approaches the ring. He attacks with his "shuckin' & jivin'" bit but Wight just chops him to the mat then grabs him in a bear hug. RD bites the big guy's forehead to escape but then run into a big slam. Wight goes for a standing elbow drop but misses. Uh oh - here comes Kane. He shoves the Dogg aside then faces Kane but X-Pac runs in and gets between them, trying to make peace. He talks Kane into leaving and they turn to leave but encounter UT and Paul Bearer on the platform. The two brothers stare at each other as we fade to black.
Nitro has a new opening montage tonight - I hope that means something good...but I'm not holding my breath.
The program opens with a recap of David Flair's World Title oddysey last week including the machinations on Thunder concerning Kevin Nash, Savage, Tori, the fake Sting, etc.
Nitro is live from the Georgia Dome in Atlanta, GA and we start with a Nitro Grrrrls extravaganza then cut to the announcers for the usual hype. Tony says Bret Hart is due back tonight. Also we will have a song from MegaDeath (?)
Juventud Guerrera vs. Chavo Guerrero - Chavo trips and falls on his way down the ramp. I hope they plan to fix that soon. Juvey taunts Chavo by aping his old "Pepe" riding move - Chavo, ever the serious one these days, doesn't take kindly to that. Juvey dominates the early going but he's showboating a lot as well. That will probably trip him up before long. Sure enough, the fight goes out to the floor and Chavo uses Juvey's distraction to turn the tables. Back inside he pus on a reverse Bow and Arrow then pancakes his opponent. Juvey gets serious and the match goes into see-saw mode for several minutes. This all ends when Juvey hits the Juvey Driver and then climbs the corner - but wait - Guerrero is playing possum! He jumps to his feet and upsets Juvey's balance. The match is back in gear when Savage and Sid show up (Sid is wearing the World Title) and enter the ring. Both of the combatants are squashed and then Sid makes a rambling speech, manages to flub his lines (referring to Savage he says, "...this mind's man...excuse me, this man's mind...") Nash appears on the big screen and challenges Sid to a Title match in sort of an offhand way ("...as long as you're wearing my belt...") Savage sputters through a rant but can't seem to put two words together - he's either really upset or he's acting like he is... GG shows up on the screen at one point asking, "Did I hear Randy? I thought I heard Randy." - uh yeah, George... Cut to commercial.
Damn - they seem to have lost the rap guy but the DJ is still with us...
Mean Gene invites the Flair's (father and son) to the ring. David has added shades to his outfit - he looks like an MIB without the suit. Ric says he's been looking for his mojo all day (whatever that means) then talks about Scott Steiner, who is out of action temporarily, and says he is going to take Steiner's US Title and hand it over to his son. His justification is that David won the match last week by count-out (?) so that makes David the #1 contender to the World Title?...whatever... Charles Robinson comes down escorted by Aysha and about ten beautiful women, with the title belt. I notice that he doesn't approve of what's going on - Flair has to tear the belt out of his hands and then gives it to David. The girls mob David on cue from Flair, Sr. Now Buff Bagwell appears and comes to the ring. He demonstrates that the crowd is more behind him then the Flairs and then taunts the Nature Boy into accepting a title match for his son. Great..another David Flair main event...be still my heart. Cut to commercial.
Rick Steiner vs. Vampiro - World Television Title match - Steiner starts hammering on his opponent from the get-go. Vamp comes back with some fancy kicks then gets suplexed and bulldogged. Steiner slaps on a grapevine submission hold and takes the duke with no trouble at all. In the back, Lodi and Lenny Lane are meeting in a closet to discuss their relationship. Lodi gives Lenny somenew tights - pink and blue to match his own... Cut to commercial.
We come back to a Bret Hart tribut video which goes into his trials of late since his brothers tragic death in Kansas City then cut to commercial.
Bret comes to the ring for a statement. He thanks the fans for their love and support. He pays tribute to his brother. He says he is really having a hard time deciding what he wants to do with his career and his life. He suggests that maybe it is time to move on to something else, which doesn't sit well with the crowd. He goes on to talk about how happy other athletes who have retired happily but for him, "it sucks." He stumbles and seems to be having a hard time collecting himself. The crowd encourages him by chanting his name. He says he has to take some time to think about what he's going to do and then thanks the fans, the wrestlers and everyone else he has worked with around the world once more before leaving the ring. It felt like a retirement speech, which I hope it was not - but if it was, I think we all understand. Cut to commercial.
Eddie Guerrero accosts Doug Dellenger, first in Spanish then in English. He says his wallet has been stolen by a masked wrestler. He wants a line up so he can point the culprit out. Cut to more DJ crap...
Ernest Miller (w/Sonny Oono) vs. Jerry Flynn (w/Jimmy Hart) - kickboxing match - this appears to be a legit match - 2 minute rounds. Both fighters know their stuff, most of the serious kicks and punches are blocked. Miller has a little mouse under his left eye after the first round. He connects with a backhanded punch in first minute of the second round and Flynn goes to one knee. After that, Flynn is clearly a little groggy. Miller downs him twice more and then gets himself DQ'd by attacking Flynn while he is down. It dissolves into a scuffle after that. Cut to commercial.
Lodi (w/Lenny Lane) vs. Van Hammer - the former come out wearing their matching tights. Lodi's has his web site URL on it (www.lodipage.com). I notice that their boots don't match. Hammer unloads on his opponent from the get-go in is usual aggressive style of late. Lodi bails and takes a little water break at the announce table. Hammer comes out and ends it then throws his opponent back inside. He gets a slam but then tries to rebound off the rope only to have Lane pull down the top rope and cause Hammer to tunmble to the floor. Lane pounds on him a little then rolls him back inside where Lodi gets a surprise Frankensteiner out of an attempted powerbomb. Lane is back in and climbing the corner while Lodi distracts the referee, but Hammer surprises him there and superplexes him to the mat then turns and hits Lodi with his camel clutch slam and gets the pin. Cut to commercial. Goldberg and Meng sit down and enjoy a pizza together in a clever WCW/Little Ceasar's Pizza tie-in. Goldberg says more words then in his average in-ring interview and Meng even has a line..."Nope."
Doug Dellenger is trying to explain to the luchadores about Eddie Guerrero's wallet being stolen. They don't seem to get it but they are led out of the locker room.
Mean Gene invites Vice-President Piper to the ring. Piper first says that he agrees with Curt Hennig and Bobby Duncum about rap music then he invites Sting to the ring in order to ask him some questions. A fake Sting comes out (you can tell right away because he has too much hair and he's too short). Piper smells a rat but goes ahead and asks his questions. All the fake Sting will do is shake his head to every one of them. Piper demands that he remove the mask he's wearing and he shakes his head to that suggestion as well. Piper wrestles him to the ground and removes the mask. The imposter succeeds in keeping his face concealed. Piper then turns his attention to Buff Bagwell - he wants a boxing match with Bagwell at Bash at the Beach. JJ Dillon appears on the ramp with Judge Mills Lane in tow. Lane is proposed as the referee for the match. Piper agrees. Cut to commercial.
More Nitro Grrrls as we return then cut to the @#$&%*!!! DJ.
Steve Regal/Fit Finley (w/Dave Taylor) vs. Konnan/Konnan, Jr. (w/BA/Swoll and some other idiot) - Konnan does his schtick then Rey throws out a couple of personal greetings. The two big Brits are all over Rey from the start. Taylor provides distraction so that they can do some doubleteaming. Konnan gets a tag and cleans house so that Rey can come back in a ride the bronco. Suddenly the Country Boyz hit the ring on the side of the Brits and even the No Limit Soldiers are unable to hold them off. The rappers get crapped. Cut to commercial. On the third go-round the Little Ceasar ad starts to lose it's appeal.
David Flair (w/Rick/Arn/Aysha and the referee) vs. Buff Bagwell - US Title match - I think I see a title change tonight... I mean another title change, of course. What the hell, if the WWF can give Mideon the European Title because he needed something to hold his pants up... Bagwell has no problem with "the Champ" of course. His biggest worry has to be the massd troups on the outside of the ring. David uses a backward low blow as his firat and only offensive move. Buff gets a blockbuster. Robinson counts two then mimes an injured shoulder. Ricka and Arn enter the ring and attack but Buff holds them off. Dean Malenko shows up and wades in on Bagwell's side. Aysha attacks Buff and gets slammed. Piper runs n a clocks Bagwell with something and that's it. David gets the pin. Cut to commercial.
The luchadores line up. Eddie says he has to see them without their masks. We see it all from behind the line up. Eddie comments on each one (either miming fright at their uglyness or asking why they wear masks) - one turns out to be Prince Iaukea. None turn out to be the thief.
Hardcore Hak sits on top of a ladder and protests the banning of hardcore matches on a pirated cable feed. He says he's going to have an unsanctioned "Junkyard Match" at Bash at the Beach. Cut to commercial.
The Country Boyz (now called "Curt Hennig and the West Texas Rednecks") sing their "hit" song.
The Triad vs. Chris Benoit/Saturn/Dean Malenko - 6 man match - this match barely gets underway when we are taken to a commercial break.
The Triad has Saturn on the ropes as we return (literally). Bigalow is choking him while DDP gets shots in from the floor. DDP tags in and misses a rush to the corner then gets clotheslined by Kanyon by mistake. Benoit comes in and then Malenko also as various of their opponents enter the ring illegally. The Triad are good at distracting the referee and they use that talent to turn the tide back in their favor. Benoit is in and being isolated now. He is caught in Bigalow's bearhug. He goes for a sunse flip but Bigalow is too big for that. Eventually he escapes and Satrun in tagged in. He tries to clean house but the Triad are entering illegally again and a melee ensues. Everybody falls out of the ring leaving Malenko and Kanyon. Malenko should have the pin but Bigalow leaps off of the top...and misses. Saturn and Benoit each lay their favorite top corner moves on Bigalow and Benoit gets the pin. Cut to commercial.
MegaDeath does their thing (yawn...) The song ends and Goldberg appears on the stage. Cut to commercial (where Goldberg appears for the fifth time tonight).
Sid Vicious vs. Kevin Nash - World Title match - Nash demands that Savage and company leave the ring area before they start the match. He says "If you want to see Gorgeous George again..." Savage complies for a biut but then returns and gets involved. The referee seems disinclined to DQ Sid so the match goes on with Nash fighting both guys. Then "Sting" shows up and joins in on Sid's side. It's not Sting, of course, as the real Sting runs in and clears the ring then helps Nash up. Nash thinks Sting attacked him, of course, and powerbombs him then splits. On the way back he taunts Savage saying that "what's left of GG" is in his dressing room. We watch Sting leave the arena then go back to Savage heading for the dressing room. He finds her with Tori and roughs both girls up (or pretends to - actually he tweaks Tori a little and then appears to attack GG on the other side of a wall where we can't see whats happening. The program ends on this disturbing note.
We open with a video recap (gotta bring everyone up to speed...) RAW comes to us on tape this week. Steve Austin comes to the ring at the top of the show and celebrates his fourth World Title reign with the fans who eat it up. He points out that Vince's four month "master plan" has come to nought and then accepts the "First Blood" match proposed by the Undertaker last night (or whenever it was) on Heat. Vince McMahon interrupts to add some add some stips to the match (what again..?) He offers to put up his own participation on WWF TV against Austin's agreement to never attempt again to win the WWF Title again should he win or lose the match at Fully Loaded respectively. In the back the Riock arrives as we cut to commercial. He will face HHH in a cage later tonight.
The Rock covers Michael Cole's head with a t-shirt before making a statement vis-a-vis his match with HHH tonight. He also rants against Billy Gunn.
Hardey Boyz (w/Michael Hayes) vs. The Acolytes - World Tag Team Title match - Bradshaw is informed that he doesn't have medical clearance to wrestle but goes for it anyway. The Boyz both dive out and topple the Tag Champs before they can get into the ring. The fight starts on the floor. Matt and Faarooq roll in and the match begins as Bradshaw is pummeling Jeff on the floor. Bradshaw seems none the worse for wear at least in the early going. Then he takes a boot to the head and it staggers him. He recovers but he looks a little dazed. Faarooq is doing a pretty good job of destroying the challengers all on his own. Bradshaw keeps taking those head shots but he keeps coming back. Faarooq and Hayes get into it on the floor while Jeff Hardey cracks Bradshaw over the head with Hayes' cane. Matt hits a Tornado DDT and takes the pin. The Hardey Boyz are the new Tag Champs!
The Hardey Boyz are talking about their victory with Terry Taylor when their feed is interrupted by GTV - Droz and Prince Albert are suiting up for their stint as the Godfather's "Garden Tools".
Gangrel vs. The Godfather (w/two good looking "Garden Tools" and two reeeealy ugly ones) - Godfather invites Val Venis to come down and enjoy the spectacle with him. Droz actually seems to enjoy dressing in drag, but PA is humiliated. Gangrel attacks while GF is distracted by the show. He dominates the first few exchanges but the Godfather is nothing if not resilliant and comes roaring back and takes the pin after a leg drop. The two new "girls" attack Val on the outside while Gangrel gets a blindside on GF then joins in the assault on Val. Edge runs down and tries to reason with Gangrel. In the back, Test is telling Stephanie not to worry about something... Cut to commercial.
Test vs. Joey Abbs - Test tackles his opponent on the ramp and then drags him back to the ring. Back inside, Abbs turns the tables quickly but Test comes right back and Abbs is back on the defensive. The match goes into see-saw mode for a moment then Test gets a big chokeslam. Here comes Shane dragging his sister toward the ring. Pete and Rodney show up from the other side of the ring and Test is punked three against one. Stephanie goes to her friend's aid after the bad guys split. Cut to commercial.
In the parking lot, Chyna is complaining to police that DX has tagged her car with graffitti.
D-Lo Brown is in the ring to make a statement - ranting about Al Snow, who sneaks into th ring and bashes him with a cookie sheet as he turns around. The fight goes to the flkoor and heads to a concession area where Snow gets a broom and breaks it over Brown's head. They fight up and escalator and back down. D-Lo uses a potted plant as a weapon then they fight over to a bank of phones where D-Lo does some "1-800-collect" schtick. Then he finds a shovel and uses it. They fight into a backstage dining area next. where D-Lo throws a frob splash from one table to another. Brown has dominated this until this moment. Snow gets a little offense then is run into a table. Mideon gets involved and turns a couple of tables over on D-Lo. Snow puts him onto a table then disappears only to reappear being raised up on a lift. He splashes Brown and gets the pin. In the hallway, the police officers are questioning Tony Garea, Sgt. Slaughter and Howard Finkle about the whereabouts of Road Dogg and X-Pac. The Fink "finks" on them and points the officers in the right direction. Cut to commercial.
Road Dogg vs. Val Venis - Val has ben mugged, of course, so we are unclear as to whether he can compete. He looks a little shaky for about 2 seconds then goes to town on the Dogg, who comes back briefly but again succombs. Val seems in fine form as he stops to pose for the ladies. The Dogg is making his comeback when the police show up with X-Pac in handcuffs. They interrupt the match to arrest Road Dogg and then haul the two of them away. Jeff Jarrett and Debra come to the ring as the two accused taggers are being hauled off to the hoosegow.
Jeff Jarrett (w/Debra) vs. Chaz (w/Marianna) - Intercontinental Title match -Chaz has a rather unorthadox style and it throws Jarrett for a moment or two. Lawler is going on about puppies. Debra tries to distract Chaz but it isn't doing the job so Marianna engages her in a cat fight - Chaz is finally distracted enough to be pinned. Jarrett is about to use the guitar when Thrasher runs in a breaks that up. Cut to commercial.
Edge vs. The Big Bossman - Edge has gone back to entering through the crowd these days. The Brood seems to have disintegrated. The Bossman overpowers his opponent early on but Edge shows us some heads up wrestling moves to turn the tables. He gets a missle drop-kick and a two-count. Bossman comes back with a big splash and gets a two-count of his own, then another and a third. Edge comes back with a cradle but no cigar. They struggle again and Edge hits a spear and gets the pin. Bossman comes back and whacks him with his night stick then cuffs him to the bottom rope. Christia runs in to help but turns his back on Bossman and also gets clubbed and cuffed. The Bossman starts to beat on both of them with the stick. He chokes Edge and gets in his face, then we cut to the back where Mike Cole is interviewing HHH and Chyna. Chyna says she intends to press charges. HHH complains that he doesn't want to fight the Rock - he wants a title shot. Cut to commercial.
King William Gunn (w/Chyna) vs. Meat (w/PMS) - Meat is not paying attaention as he entyers the ring and gets knocked off the apron. Billy drags his opponent inside and continues his assault. Meat comes roaring back and shows us his westling savvy for a moment but then Billy overwhelms him with a Fame-Asser and takes the pin. PMS comes in and Jacquie gets in Meats face. Chyna grabs her from behind, spins her around and DDT's her then Billy does the same to Meat.Chyna pulls a can of spray paint out of her bag and the two of them do their best nWo impression. Funny that Chyna happens to have spray paint handy...
Th Big Show/Bob Holly vs. Kane/X-Pac - Wight and Kane get into it first and start toe-to-toe. X-Pac is in jail so this has become a handicap match. Kane is down when Holly tags in. He pummels Kane for a moment then one punch puts him on his can. Kane puts a boot into Holly's throat. The Undertaker and Paul Bearer show up thus distracting the Big Show. Meanwhile Holly is making some inroads on Kane by drop-kicking his knee. It's not enough as he is chokeslammed and pinned. Now UT enters the ring and the two brothers attack Wight. They manages to double suplex him then split and go there separate ways. Kane heads out but UT comes back and hits Wight with a chair. Wight is bleeding like a stuck pig as UT leaves the ring. Cut to commercial.
The Rock vs. HHH (w/Chyna)- cage match - HHH thinks this match is pointless and so do I - but my reasoning is different then his. I just think Helmsley is not Main Event material. He is athletic enough but he needs a gimmick...or a personality. HHH and Chyna enter then we go to commercial.
Maivia enters as we return. The cage is an unusual design with diagonal bracing between the uprights. That should make the walls extra stiff. Maivia dominates the first exchange and immediately tries to climb out. HHH knocks him off the wall and his face connects with the corner buckle. HHH is in control now. Chyna throws him a set of handcuffs which he uses to knock Maivia down then fastens one cuff to a diagonal brace. He goes back to work on Maivia and runs him into the wall. He tries to cuff Maivia but the Rock hits a low blow to turn the tables. HHH reasserts himself and g=tries to climb out but Maivia catches his leg then armwhips him off to the mat. Maivia crawls toward the door where the referee waits to open it up - but Chyna downs the referee then slams the door in Maivia's face. HHH is helped out of the ring and seems to think he has won - but JR reminds us that the referee hasn't seen him leave the ring. Maivia recovers and catches HHH on the ramp. They brawl back to the ring and HHH is catapulted into the outside of the cage. Maivia drags HHH back inside the cage as the referee recovers (fancy that...) In the cage, Maivia gets a Samoan drop then starts to climb out. This time HHH catches the Rock's leg and pulls him back. Maivia gets a DDT but he is shaky as he starts his climb again. He decides to turn around and deliver an ax handle as HHH gets to his feet. HHH comes back with a clothesline and both are down. HHH recovers first and heads for the corner. Maivia catches him and prevents his ascent then climbs up with him. HHH shoves him off and continues over the top but Maivia climbs back up and catches HHH's hair. Now both are straddling the top of the cage and punching each other until Chyna throws HHH a chair. He whacks Maivia with it then decides to go for the door. On his way dfown he slips and straddles the top rope. Now HHH is laying in the cage while Maivia is laying on top of the wall. HHH struggles to the door but Maivia just manages to drop to the floor before HHH can get out through the door. Billy Gunn attacks Maivia on the outside as we fade to black.
I'll be back on Thurday. Until then...
At least that's the way I see it...
Editor, Solie's Wrestling Newsletter
This page is a personal tribute and is in no way connected to any of the wrestling promotions mentioned on it. It is dedicated to the Dean of Wrestling announcers, Gordon Solie.
Copyright 1999 - Jump City Productions