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Solie's Tuesday Morning Report

Monday Night Wars Edition

Sunday Night Heat

Nitro Report

Sting Wins Control of WCW!

Insane Clown Posse, Shane Douglas Show Up on Nitro

RAW Report

Volume 4, Issue 485 - July 18, 1999

Sunday Night Heat

The Undertaker appears on the big screen and then in the flesh at the top of the program. He makes a statement directed at Steve Austin asking, " does it feel to taste your own blood." (usually a little salty, actually...) The rest of the rant is the usual mystical trash talk. He confirms that he and Kane have reunited then brings Kane out to demonstrate the fact. He smiles evily as they leave the ring together.

Jeff Jarrett (w/Debra) vs. The Road Dogg - Intercontinental Title match - Jarrett interrupts Jesse's schtick to attack his challenger from behind. Ue is in charge for about 3 seconds then the Dogg turns the tables and the puppies come into play to distract him. Jarrett decides to attack the referee and knocks him out. The Dogg runs him down and thinks he has the pin but a second referee DQ's Jarrett then Billy Gunn and Chyna show up to run a number on him before X-Pac shows up to even the odds. Cut to commercial.

Mideon joins the broadcast team for this next match. He has D-Lo Brown challenging him for the European Title at the PPV.

D-Lo Brown vs. Gangrel - Brown seems to have his opponent's number in the early going so Gangrel drags him to the floor to turn the tables. Back inside the match goes into see-saw mode as Mike Cole mistakenly says that Gangrel brought Edge into the WWF. As D-Lo retakes the initiative in the ring, Mideon jumps to his feet and tries to distract D-Lo. But it doesn't work. Gangrel has to spit "blood" in his face to win the match. Mideon enters the ring and they punch the former European champ until Edge shows up to rescue him. Cut to commercial.

X-Pac vs. Hardcore Holly - Holly rants before the match that he won't fight X-Pac because he (Holly) is a "super heavyweight" - right... X-Pac attacks him for being an idiot. Holly barely avoids the bucking bronco, grabs a chair and whacks his opponent, thus getting himself disqualified. Kane comes down and delivers a chokeslam on Holly. This brings Paul Wight out to try and attack Kane but X-Pac levels him with the chair. UT calls Kane away - leaving X-Pac to deal with the Big Show when he recovers. Waltman is chokeslammed.

Ken Shamrock comes to the ring to make a statement concerning his run-ins with Steve Blackman. Jerry Lawler interviews him. Kenny tells a story about a fight he got into in his youth - he wants an "Iron Circle" match at Fully Loaded - a match within a circle of cars.

The Acolytes vs. Droz/Prince Albert - Droz eschews his dress tonight but wears fishnet stockings. PA faces Faarooq to start as the Tag Team Champions (w/Michael Hayes) appear to scout the competition. PA takes it for a few moments then turns the tables, so Bradshaw gets involved to control things as the Godfather and Val Venis show up. A melee breaks out on the floor as Droz and his partner pull a sneaky double team move to get the pin on Faarooq.

HHH (w/Chyna) vs. The Big Show - HHH doesn't seem to know how to approach the big guy so he starts punching him. No soap - Wight just grabs him and tosses him out of the ring then follows him to the floor. He is about to run his opponent into the ringpost when Chyna grabs her partner's foot and sends Wight into the pole. They re-enter the ring but UT and Kane appear and attack the Big Show. HHH seems a little put out at the interference but finally decides to join in as they put the boots to the big guy. The program ends on this note.

Nitro Report

WCW is really giving the Nito Grrrrls a lot of time in their opening montage these days. We open with the Macho Man challenging anybody but...on video, of course. Tonight Sting wrestles Flair for control of WCW. We hear that Dennis Rodman will be here tonight as well.

Nitro is live from the Metro Center in Rockford, Illinois. For some reason we get Scott Hudson hosting with the Brain. No word about where Tony is - has he ever missed a Nitro broadcast before? Sid Vicious will face Hollywood Hogan for the Heavyweight Title tonight as well. We cut to a video montage chronicling Ric Flairs term as WCW President. The video ends with the footage we just saw a few moments ago of Sting taking David Flair out.

Sid Vicious comes to the ring telling the crowd that he hates them as he stalks down the aisle. He takes the mic and then motions for the crowd to quiet down. They won't, of course, so he starts without them. His psycho-babble is the usual blend of belligerance and mysticism - "I'm the ruler of the world..." yatta, yatta. I wonder if he also considers himself the "yardstick of the world"..? the "tape measure..?" Cut to commercial.

Nitro Grrrls in the ring as we return...

Jerry Flynn vs. Fit Finley - Finley has a grudge to settle, of course, after having his trophy stolen. He goes right after the younger man and has him reeling in moments. Flynn takes it for several moments then manages to reverse a move out of the corner and gets his feet into play to turn the tables. Finley comes back with a finger to the eye and Flynn is back on the defensive. They fall out to the floor where Finley goes for a chair but the referee follows them out and grabs it away. The distraction allows Flynn to recover for a moment but Finley goes for the eyes again. Back in the ring, Finley has a reverse chinlock when Jimmy Hart appears on the big screen exhorting his man to "come on, Flynn..." Flynn retakes the initiative again for a moment then Finley goes for the eye again. Suddenly Finley bolts for the outside looking for Hart. He finds him trying to squeeze under a bus but before he can do anything he is attacked by Hart's minions. They punk him and we cut to the board room where "Clueless" JJ Dillon is explaining to Lenny Lane and Lodi that their contracts are up for renewal and he wants to re-sign them but they need to sign them "in the proper way..." He starts naming brother teams (the Windhams, Booker and Stevie Ray) and says, "Everybody knows about you guys..." The L's think he's talking about them being gay, but no, he's talking about them being brothers??? I don't get it either... Cut to commercial.

Hollywood Hogan comes to the ring to talk with Mean Gene. He invents a new term "HollywoodMania" and tells Okerlund that after the reception he got from the crowds last week it has turned his life around - he going face folks... He promises to take care of Sid tonight then point himself at Kevin Nash. Cut to commercial.

Lodi (w/Lenny Lane) vs. Norman Smiley - Smiley has been scarce lately. Can't really say I'm happy to see him back. A measure of his impact is that I hadn't even noticed that he was gone... Lodi is no match for Smiley at all. He is a very good wrestler, while Lodi is...well...Lodi. They run out to the floor where Lenny tries to interfere. In fact he does a pretty good job of distracting Smiley who returns to the ring, still distracted and gets clobbered from behind. Now Lodi is showing us a little wrestling acumen, didn't think he had it in him. He distracts the referee so that Lenny can get in some shots then vice versa. Smiley comes back with a drop-toe hold to a body vice then rolls his opponent up and pins him. Smiley leaves the ring as the "brothers" try their hands at the "big wiggle". Cut to the stupid DJ then to commercial.

Sting vs. Ric Flair (w/AA/Aysha) - match for control of WCW - is preceeded by a short video recap. I expect Sting to win this because Flair is slated to take some time off next month. The only question is what will Sting do with it. Eric Bischoff has joined the broadcast team. Charles Robinson is the referee so Sting has the deck stacked against him. Sting handles that problem with a Scorpion Death Drop before the match gets started! A new ref comes out and we are underway. Sting is then all over Flair, gorilla pressing him and slamming him twice right off the bat. Flair retreats into the corner then gets in a low-blow from behind as his opponent moves in. Sting collapses and Flair struts. Sting rebounds out of the corner and gets a clothesline but he is still out of it. Flair tries to suplex him to the floor but the Stinger reverses it and he is back in business. Flair goes to the floor and is beaten there as well. Back inside he catches Sting in a hotshot but it has no affect. He turns his back and struts again but he is celebrating way to early. Sting surprises him and almost gets a pin but Arn drags the referee out to the floor and clocks him. Now Sid shows up and and blindsides Sting - setting him up for Flair. Back in the ring, the referee recovers as Flair goes for the figure four. He thinks he has his opponent but Sting is still in it. He beats his chest then turns the move over. Flair pulls away and tries to punch Sting out - but the latter just stands there and absorbs the blows. Flair recovers momentarily with a back elbow but Sting is relentless. He throws a Stinger splash but Flair pulls the referee between them. Now Aysha is in the ring - so Sting splashes her in the corner. He gets the Scorpion Death Lock on Flair but there is no referee. Eric Bischoff enters the ring and leans down to scream in Flair's face. Then he calls for the bell. Sting has won control of WCW! I hope this is going to be a good thing...

Rick Steiner vs. Horace - TV Title match - Horace tries to assert his superior size but doesn't have much success against this wrestling machine. They go to the floor where he rushes Steiner, misses and slams himself into the railing. Back in the ring, Steiner is all over him. He grabs a head vice then rubs the challenger's face into the mat. Horace recovers and uses his fists to knock Steiner to the floor then goes after him with a chair. He rolls Steiner back inside but then Kevin Nash shows up and trashes Horace on the outside then rolls him back into the ring for the pin. Hollywood Hogan comes down and questions Nash's actions - "I thought you said this was just business..." Nash says, "I lied...cause this is real personal." Cut to commercial.

Psychosis vs. Eddie Guerrero - Guerrero takes off on his opponent in his usual super-aggressive fashion and is going for a pin in matter of moments. Psychosis comes back with some fancy footwork and gets a clothesline then the match goes into see-saw mode for a moment until Psychosis gets a tilt-a-whirl back breaker. He tosses Eddie to the floor then follows him out and rams his back into the railing then rolls him back inside and starts working on his back in earnest. Eddie is pretty out of it as his opponent pulls off a back heel kick off the top. He then takes Guerrero to the top and hits a Frankensteiner but then fails to go for the pin. It's a mistake. Eddie recovers and gets a Gorie special modified airplain spin then follows with a Frog Splash and the pin. The masked luchadores then hit the ring and punk him until Rey Misterio, Jr comes to the rescue. After they clear the ring they shake hands - an alliance is born (thank God! Maybe Rey will get out from under Konnan's thumb...) Cut to commercial.

Stevie Ray vs. Kanyon (w/the Triad) - the latter spend some time insulting Stevies mother before he makes his entrance. Stevie is determined to take the Triad apart after what they did to his brother last week. He tells his B-Team buddies to watch his back. Kanyon tries his "innovative offense" but finds that it's kinda hard to move a Mack truck around the ring. Stevie just shoves him off then starts whaling on him. The fight goes to the outside where Stevie steps up his attack. Kanyon catches his opponent coming back in and gets his first real offense of the match - then he goes for a splash off the top and misses. Stevie was playing possum (opossum..?). The other thugs try to interfere but Stevie ducks them and levers both of them to the floor - then he whips Kanyon into them as they jump back on the apron. He gets the pin - just barely then gets punked until Booker T runs in to save his brother. Cut to commercial.

The star of HBO's "Arliss" joins the broadcast team and mentions that "WCW will be on HBO" this week. Don't quite know what that means. He says he's here to scout Rodman. Macho Man and company come down to the ring Savage announces that he is running for President in 2000 (okay...)

Kidman vs. Randy Savage (w/the girls) - Savage grounds his high flying opponent from the get-go but eventually the Kid-Man gets in a flying head scissors and Savage bails. He grabs a chair, re-enters the ring and hands it to the referee. He cheapshots Kidman then rakes his eyes across the top rope. He is on top until Kidman levers him out to the floor then follows him out. Kidman is stymied when Savage pulls GG in front of him - then Miss Madness drop-kicks him from behind. Now it is all Savage again. At the announce table, the pretend sports agent is pretending this is a sport... Back in the ring, Savage is holding Kidman for Miss Madness who plants a drop-kick right in the Macho Man's face! Kidman has a moment of offense then Savage turns the tables again. He goes to the top and gets the big elbow then goes for the pin - but then pulls Kidman up on two. He clocks the referee then goes for the elbow again. Kidman is squashed. Dennis Rodman runs down and hits Savage from behind with his purse (well, that's what it looked like...) He is dressed like a pimp in feather boa and big black hat. "Arliss" runs in and wants to sign Rodman on the spot. Officials stream into the ring to get between Savage and Rodman. Meanwhile, "Arliss" is trying to sign a match between the two of them. Savage vows to make Rodman his "b*tch". Suddenly, appropos of nothing, Miss Madness and Medusa get into a cat fight. Do I smell two more matches for the next PPV? Cut to commercial.

Konnan comes down and challenges Vampiro to a rematch. Vamp answers the call and the match is just getting underway when the Insane Clown Posse runs in and attacks Konnan. Rey Misterio runs in and breaks it up for a moment, meanwhile Raven shows up to hang out on the apron. Eventually Rey is overwhelmed and he and his mentor get punked by Vamp and the Clowns. Cut to commercial.

Nitro Grrrls dance on the platform as we return. Then we get a video recap of how Hogan won the title last week.

Ernest Miller's music plays and here comes Buff "the Cat" Bagwell to do a parody complete with somebody in a Sonny Oono mask and one of the Nitro Grrrrls (he calls her "Sonny Oh Yeah"). His impression is spot on right down to the red shoes. He clowns around for a while then Miller shows up and attacks. Bagwell gets the best of him at first. He turns to confront Oono then turns back in time to hit the Cat in the face with his own briefcase. But then Miller gets his shoe-weapon and brains the imposter. Miller gets the last laugh as he dances into an elbow drop in an obvious parody of the "People's Elbow". Cut to commercial.

The West Texas Rednecks come to the ring to their favorite tune.

Saturn/Chris Benoit vs. Curt Hennig/Barry Windham (w/Kendall/Bobby Duncum) - Hennig faces Benoit to start and they go at it fast and furious until Benoit drop-kicks his opponent's knee. He tags in Saturn and they double team on Hennig's knee. Windham has to rescue his partner with some help from his little brother. Benoit is tossed to the outside and punked then rolled back in for some more punishment as we cut to commercial.

Benoit is still on the receiving end as we return. Windham gets a big super-plex. Most people probably don't remember that Windham popularized this move many years ago. Saturn finally gets the tag and cleans the ring out, taking care of Kendall while he's at it. In the midst of his whirlwind, the Texans storm the ring and cause the DQ. Dean Malenko runs in to lend a hand - then, just as he is being overwhelmed - Shane Douglas runs in and turns the tide. He grabs a mic and yells out a call to arms to "take back WCW where it belongs..." (Huh?)

Sid Vicious vs. Hollywood Hogan - World Title match - neither of these guys can work a match to save their lives so I expect a short contest here. That plus it's about 4 minutes before the hour... Sid grouses with the crowd to avoid the lock-up as Hogan stalks him - then Sid bails out. He re-enters the ring and shows his power by shoving Hogan to the mat. Sid offers a test of strength - then bails again before they can lock up. This reminds me of a match I saw between Jimmy Snuka and David Schultz many years ago. Schultz kept leaving the ring in a mind game that eventually won him the match after Snuka got angry and careless. Sid comes back in and grabs the advantage for a bit but then Hogan regains his composure and retakes the initiative until Sid starts working on his injured knee. That turns things his way and he goes to work on it with a vengence - wrapping it around the post to punish it. He returns to the ring and lays a boot to the chest then grabs a cobra clutch. Hogan slips to one knee then starts to recover - but Sid rakes his eyes and hits a boot to the face. Sid goes for the legdrop - Hogan style, but the Champ rolls away and then comes alive. He gets his own boot to the face but Sid still stands - so he scoop slams him then starts posing for the crowd - Kevin Nash runs in and attacks Hogan - then Sting runs in to help Hogan - then Rick Steiner joins the frey. Suddenly some music starts up and Goldberg runs in to clean house. Sid, Nash and Steiner retreat as Hogan, Sting and Goldberg stand tall in the ring and the program ends.

RAW Report

The saga of McMahon vs. Austin plays out in video recap before the opening montage.

RAW was taped in Lexington, Kentucky on Tuesday night. Jim Ross and Kevin Kelly are the hosts (what is this..? sustitute host night?)

McMahon and company come down to the ring. Vince is still in his wheelchair. He leaves the chair to hobble into the ring, then the chair is handed up and he reseats himself. He says he hopes that everybody brought their cameras because he expects this to be the last time we'll see Steve Austin on RAW. He offers his guarantee that Austin will lose the title on Sunday. He then turns to the Undertaker and tells him that his career is on the line as well. UT doesn't take to kindly to that and tells McMahon not to try threatening him, he'll beat Austin but he'll do it for himself. They have some words and then HHH decides to intervene - which gets him a threat from UT. HHH turns to Vince and starts tooting his own horn - angling to get UT's spot at the PPV. UT says "the road to Fully Loaded and Steve Austin lays through the Undertaker." Vince ponders this development and decides to make a match betweeen UT and HHH for the coveted spot in the main event. So we get HHH vs UT again. (yawn) Austin's music blairs forth and he comes driving into the arena in a Blood Mobile! He stops and climbs on top - somebody throws him a Steveweiser. He addresses the Undertaker saying that he plans to lock UT in the truck and then extract blood from Vince's skull before the night is over. Cut to commercial.

Road Dogg vs. Chyna - Dog Pound match - Vince and HHH are in conference in the back as we go to the ring for the introductions. We get a video recap of the feud so far between the two then come back to find Chyna stalling. She ducks at the last moment and tries to get the match started without wearing the collar but Jesse downs her and trys to put it on. Before he can get anything done, Billy Gunn runs down and spoils the match by attacking him. X-Pac saves his cookies. Does anyone else see the resemblance between these constant run-ins and DQ's and what the WWF used to pull back in the eighties? Then we'd get squash match after squash match to fill up the hour - now we get the big stars in the ring but most of the matches end in run-ins, frequently before any real action even gets started. Cut to commercial.

Shane and the Posse comes to the ring. Shane wants to apologize for hitting his sister last week. He invites her to the ring for that purpose...or so he says. In the back, Test is trying to talk her out of going to the ring but she says, "He's my brother, it will be alright." Yeah...right... Shane offers her his apology - then says, "...but it wasn't my fault..." and lambasts Test. Then he tries to fix her up with Joey Abbs again. She isn't interested. Abbs adds his two cents - saying that she "blew" her first opportunity with him - but he's willing to take her back... She stalks out of the ring while Shane screams after her about how he's going to "take care" of things. In the back, the Rock manages to sign an autograph and intimidate a fan at the same time.

Val Venis/The Godfather vs. The Hardey Boyz (w/Michael Hayes) vs. The Acolytes vs. Droz/Prince Albert - 8 Man Elimination Tag Team Title match - this is silly - as these types of matches always are. Prince Albert is pinned and eliminated almost immediately. Val throws himself into Bradshaw'a arms but manages to come back with a powerbomb. Jeff Hardey is tagged in and then the Godfather comes in on the other side. Moments later, Godfather hits Bradshaw with his cane and the Acolytes are eliminated. The Hardey's face off against Venis/Godfather. Michael Hayes proves the key as he distracts Val Venis so that the Hardey's can blindside him and take the pin. Cut to commercial.

A GTV feature shows stars of "Mystery Men" - Ben Stiller, Janeen Garofalo, Paul Reubins and another actor in a hotel room talking about wrestlers and Debra's puppies among other things. Stiller discovers the camera and it gets cut off.

Jeff Jarrett (w/Debra) come to the ring. He rants about puppies and Steve Austin. Jerry Lawler has arrived and joined the announcers.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Christian - Intercontinental Title match - Christian manages to out-maneuver his more experienced opponent and gets two pin attempts right off the bat. Debra is distracting the referee as Christian gets stunner variation but fails to get the pin because the referee is out of position. Jarrett tries to use the guitar but Christian gets it away from him. Before he can use it, however, the referee grabs it away which distracts Christian so that Jarrett can knock him out and pin him. Then the lights go out and Jarrett gets a Blood Bath. Edge comes down for no particular reason so they get into a brawl. Edge will challenge for the IC title on Sunday.

The Rock vs. Billy (don't call me Butthead) Gunn - Maivia runs out to meet Billy on the ramp. They brawl back into the ring where Billy gets the immediate advantage. He stops to pose then gets run down as Maivia explodes out of the corner. Billy gets a neckbreaker to turn the tables again. They fight out to the floor and Billy is still in charge as he posts his opponent then runs him into the railing. They roll back inside and Billy goes for and gets a jackhammer slam. He showboats some more then pounds his opponent's forehead. Maivia fights back but Billy stops him short with a knee lift. Maivia comes back with a Samoan drop but he is out of it - both guys are down. They recover at the same time and the Rock gets a flurry of offense ending in a DDT - but Chyna has the referee distracted. Chyna grabs a chair and whacks the Rock as he bounces off the ropes for the People's Elbow. Mr. Posterior drops a leg on the back of Maivia's neck and takes the pin. Cut to commercial.

HHH is brown nosing in the back as Al Snow makes his way to the ring.

Al Snow vs. The Big Bossman - Snow seems really out of it every since Head got spiked. He runs out to the announcer's table then starts tossing chairs into the ring. Bossman just watches this all calmly. Snow enters the ring and demands that Bossman hit him with his night stick. Bossman obliges then handcuffs him to the top rope then beats on him some more. Snow seems to enjoy it. Cut to commercial.

Edge/D-Lo Brown vs. Mideon/Gangrel - this is a weird matchup. All four start the match then Edge and Mideon fall out to the floor. Both sides exchange partners and Edge and Mideon face off on their hands and knees before finally locking up. Mideon wins the encounter. I just figured this out - D-Lo is after the European title while we all know abpout Edge and Gangrel. In the end, Edge holds Gangrel off while D-Lo frog splashes Mideon and gets the pin.

Test vs. Steve Blackman - Test has a beef with Blackman and meets him at ringside to start the match on the floor. Back inside, Blackman grabs the initiative but not for long. The match goes into see-saw mode until Blackman grabs a leg submission hold. Clearly he is the superior wrestler but both these guys are really rookies. The match is pretty pedestrian. Test gets a gut wrench powerbomb to recover then they start slugging it out. Test climbs the corner and launches himself onto a karate kick. The Posse runs in and attacks Test - thus ends the match. Blackman just watches as Test is punked then held down so Shane can slap his face. Ken Shamrock runs in with a baseball bat to chase the bad guys away. Do you think this "Countdown to Millenium" has something to do with Chris Jericho? Cut to commercial.

Big Show/Shot vs. Kane/X-Pac - so why does X-Pac think he can trust Kane? And why is Paul Wight teaming with Steroid Bob? Why is the sky blue? I'm just full of questions tonight... Kane and Wight get it on outside while Holly attacks X-Pac. He dispatches his opponent then attacks Kane on the floor. The Undertaker comes to the ring and chokeslams X-Pac. He then grabs the ring steps and clobbers both Wight and Holly. The Scarey Brothers stalk away without so much as a backward glance - but then Kane turns around and returns to check on his former team mate. UT returns as well and then stands in the ring as Kane watches the replay of UT demolishing X-Pac. He takes it in - then attacks and chokeslams his brother! He picks up his partner and heads back up the ramp where X-Pac recovers and they reconcile. Cut to commercial.

HHH vs. The Undertaker - match for the right to face Austin for the title on Sunday - gosh, I wonder who will win this one. Does anybody really believe that McMahon is going to pin a PPV on HHH's shoulders? Not too likely at this point. It's a fun match to watch though as Chyna gets involved and the fight spills in and out of the ring. In the back, Austin prods someone off camera to follow him out to the ring to get a "Blood Donation." He runs in to spoil the match followed closely by the Rock, who goes after HHH while Austin and the Undertaker brawl at ringside. HHH and the Rock disappear into the crowd. Meanwhile, Austin is forcing UT towards the Blood Mobile. Vince is looking decidedly nervous as the two fight around the area of the truck. Eventually Austin keeps his word and throws UT into the back of the truck then locks it. He returns to the ring then notices Vince in his wheel chair. He lays a right hand into Vince's forehead, then waffles him with his title belt. Vince is opened up. Austin signs the contract and then celebrates in the ring. UT gets free and attacks Austin with a beer can, cutting his forehead again. He takes the Smoking Skull belt and stands on the apron with his tongue hanging out as the program fades.

I'll be back on Thursday. Until then...

At least that's the way I see it...

Earl Oliver
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