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Solie's Tuesday Morning Report

Monday Night Wars Edition

Sunday Night Heat

Nitro Report

RAW Report

D-Lo Brown Adds the IC Belt to his Collection!

Volume 4, Issue 490 - August 2, 1999

Sunday Night Heat

The usual recap stuff concerning the results of the "End of an Era" match opens the program.

THe Undertaker makes an entrance with the Paul's (Wight and Bearer). Uncle Paul has the mic and uses it to introduce his charges. He holds the mic for The Big Show who explais to the fans that he has gone over to the dark side purely for the power involved. He immediately threatens Kane and Steve Austin with the "Armegeddon" (apparently his new name for the chokeslam - I wonder if the Disciple copyrighted that term..?) UT goes into his rant and it is full of venom as well - he even tells the giant that he hates him and warns him that one day he (UT) will betray him. He does this in the the course of explaining to Kane that his problem is a lack of the killer instinct. He plans to eschew the lights and rituals from now on and just concentrate on pure evil. The Acolytes appear on the platform and throw out a challenge for a Tag Team match. UT calls them "ungratefull SOB's" and reminds them that he "brought them to the dance..." Michael Hayes is discussing strategy with his Hardey Boyz as we cut to commercial.

Hardey Boyz vs. Papi Chulo/Sho Funaki - Hayes joins the broadcast team and is on a "back to square one" approach for returning his team to the top. The Hardey's are dominant but Hayes gets upset when Jeff stops to showboat instead of going for a pin against Funaki. He leaves the table and coaches from ringside. He returns to th table after a bit as we see tha his team is losing ground. The fight goes out to the floor and the Hardeys start making their way back. Jeff gets a big DDT off the second rope to take the pin. In the back, Terri Runnels primps as Meat appears in the doorway behind her. She tells him he has a match - he looks exhausted again. Cut to commercial.

Edge vs. Meat (w/PMS) - Meat doesn't look quite as out of it as he did the last time we saw him but he is definitely lethargic. Still he is a much better wrestler (and stronger) then Edge and that plays to his advantage throughout the match. He dominates until he goes for his Meat Grinder suplex but has it reversed on him. From there it is all downhill and Edge picks up the pace. Edge uses his anemic spear to catch his opponent in mid-air then the Downward Spiral gets him the win. Terri humiliates him afterward by making him kiss her foot. Jaquie walks away in digust.

Jeff Jarrett (w/Debra) comes down to rant against D-Lo Brown. He rolls the video of himself attacking Ben Stiller and Brown's subsequent attack on himself. He challenges D-Lo to a match on RAW - title for title. Terry Taylor interviews Chaz (in his underwear) and Marrianna - Prince Albert comes by and gets fresh with the lady - precipitating a brawl as we cut to commercial.

Prince Albert vs. Chaz (w/Marrianna) - PA is rubbing his sore neck as he comes to the ring. He grabs a mic and rants about Chaz and his squeeze. He claims thet the doctor has forbidden him to wrestle but he wants to "make a woman out of Marriana." Chaz runs down and attacks him only to be in turn attacked by the guy that assaulted the Godfather last week (indie wrestler Vic Grimes). He wears a white suit this time. On his way out, PA lays a big wet one on Marrianna. Cut to commercial.

In the back, Prince Albert denies any knowledge of the mysterious man in white.

Steve Blackman vs. Mideon - Blackman attacks with a club from his bag before the bell can be rung then grabs a kendo stick and uses it as well. He grabs a couple of more "lethal weapons" from his bag but just brandishes them before Mideon is hauled away.

D-Lo is making his partner, Mark Henry excercise to lose weight as we return.

Undertaker/Paul Wight (w/Paul Bearer) vs. The Acolytes - Tag Team Title match - and a very short one. The challengers are disqualified whn they start swinging chairs around. Harcore Holly comes to the riing after it's over and gets in a few licks. UT is about to squash him, but the Big Show gets between them and saves Holly's cookies by hustling him away.

Nitro Report

Video recap of Savage's girl's little escapade last week starts the program followed by the Hogan/Nash/Sting Sid et al story then we cut to the opening logo.

Nitro is live from the Convention Center at Sioux Falls, South Dakota. More video recap runs down the Hogan/Nash/Goldberg situation. Scott Hudson and Bobby Heenan are together again. They talk about the reunion of Harlam Heat and play us some of that video.

The Triad come out to talk some trash. Kanyon does his usual schtick and gets his usual answer - and they call the crowd stupid. Page yawns as Kanyon talks about Harlam Heat being reformed - Kanyon then challenges them to a tag match (with Bam Bam I assume). Page then rants off on Chris Benoit and then Harlam Heat shows up to have their say. Oh - I see - this is the match.

Bam Bam Bigalow/Kanyon vs. Harlam Heat - non-title match - Kanyon and Booker face off and Kanyon gets his arm twisted off. He bails for a moment then comes back and runs into a big drop-kick. Stevie Ray tags in and they double team him for a moment then he bails when he finds himself facing big Stevie. He returns and tags in Bigalow. Bigalow starts strong but thn Stevie turns the tables for a moment then Bigalow regains his advantage. They see saw for a bit and then Bigalow starts working on Stevie's long time shoulder injury. He is isolated as Kanyon comes back in. But only for a moment before Stevie explodes out of the corner and runs him down. Booker tags in and keeps up the pressure. Kanyon geta a bit of offense but he has to use Bam Bam as distraction to firmly turn the tables. Booker is on the receiving end now as Bigalow comes back in and steps it up. This guy always amazes me with his agility. Booker and Bigalow collide and both go down - then they both tag out. Stevie comes in and cleans house - then all four are in. Stevie and Bigalow fall out to the floor and continue to brawl while Booker finishes off Kanyon. He is going for the missle drop-kick when Page runs in to try and upset his balance. However, Chris Benoit runs in right behind him and hauls him off the apron. Booker gets the pin. Benoit then tells Page that he'll see him later. Cut to commercial.

Nitro Grrrrls fill the ring (and their outfits...) as we return.

President Sting makes his weekly appearance. He sets up a tag team match, based on crowd reaction - himself and Goldberg vs. Sid Vicious/Rick Steiner. Cut to commercial.

Ernest Miller (w/Sonny Oono) vs. Common Decency - MIller rants about Buff Bagwell and his hilarious impression and says he doesn't need the red shoes to beat anybody. He challenges Lenny Lane and Lodi (who admired the Cat's bunny slippers early) to come out - and they do. He invites them into the ring so they can talk about where he got the slippers (of course he didn't "get" them, Buff slipped them into his bag...) Miller attacks as soon as they are in the ring. Lodi bails early leaving his "brother" to face the music. Lenny is knocked to the floor where Lodi comforts him then chases Oono into the ring and gets himself laid out. Cut to commercial.

Mean Gene is in the ring as we return. He brings Hollywood Hogan to the ring (he's introducing him as Hollywood "Hulk" Hogan these days, by the way). Hogan is still able to get a substantial pop from the crowd. Hogan is wearing a necklace made out of paper clips for some reason as he rants off on Kevin Nash then throws out a challenge to Nash for a World Title match tonight. The chants of "Hogan! Hogan!" are deafening as he goes into the old Hulkamania posedown schtick and Bobby Heenan keeps reminding us that he hates Hogan even as he toots the Hulkster's horn. Cut to commercial.

Sting comes back for his answer from Goldberg. The big guy makes his way to the ring but is attacked by Steiner and Sid on his way. They hit him with a coal shovel then attack Sting the same way when he runs back to help. They drag him out to the arena (after locking Goldberg in a storage room) and back to the ring whwre Sting suddenly comes alive and Stinger Splashes both of them. But Sid resists the blow and gets a chokeslam. Meanwhile, Goldberg gets loose and runs in. The bad guys bail. I guess that means that Goldberg agrees to the match. He is bleeding from the back of his head where he was hit with the shovel.

Evan Karageous (rhymes with Outrageous) vs. Disco Inferno - Karrageous wins the first exchange with some snappy drop-kicks. Disco comes back with some fancy moves of his own and takes firm control of things. As usual he spends too much time showboating. Karrageous takes advantage of his distraction and gets a final flurry of offense before tossing a big drop-kick and getting air. Disco hits the Last Dance and that is that... Dave Flair is backstage with Tori saying that he has decided to just defend the US Title just once every 30 days as required. Cut to commercial.

More Nitro (Cow) Grrrrrrls dancing in the aisle. In the back, Sid is talking to himself. I wonder if he ever scares himself... Cut to commercial.

The First Family (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Dean Malenko/Shane Douglas - Flynn and Morrus are the representatives for the First Family this week. This is Douglas' second foray into the ring since his return to WCW. I'm glad to see that he can actually make it out before the action ends... His style in the ring is workman-like at best - I've never understood his appeal. He jousts with Hugh Morrus and barely gets the upperhand before tagging Malenko back in. Malenko gives up the advantage against Flynn (which seems highly unlikely, but what the hell...) Hart is there to distract the referee so that his guys can use subtrafuge to isolate Malenko. Is it just me or does it seem like Douglas' participation is minimal - just like when he runs in after his mates get punked. Flynn finally misses a rush to the corner to give Malenko a chance to tag out. Douglas comes in and subdues an already hurt Jerry Flynn. Hart tries to use the Hardcore trophy on Malenko but gets Morrus instead - then Flynn tries to jump onto Douglas and he gets Morrus as well. Morrus is pinned. Malenko grabs the trophy on his way back and says into the camera that he intends to give it back to Fit Finley. Finley, who is in the hospital after surgery on his leg for some slashed arteries, is a very popular guy in the dressing room. Cut to commercial.

More Nitro Grrrrrls - I think they are trying to make up for last week when they were off the show making their PPV video.

Rick Steiner decides to come down while the announcers are talking about him. He comes straight to the announce table, grabs Scott Hudson, drags him into the ring and powerslams him! So much for Hudson substituting this week. Heenan headed for the hills, by the way. Cut to commercial.

Eric Bischoff is with us as we return. Hudson is being hauled away on a stretcher. Heenan joins Bischoff. Both seem a little shaken - good acting. Bobby acts like he is uncomfortable - worried about his health.

Bobby Duncum, Jr. vs. Saturn - for a change one of the West Texas Rednecks comes out on his own. Oops, I spoke too soon. Curt Hennig comes strutting down the ramp shooting his mouth off about Chad Brock's scheduled appearance on Nitro next week. He calls the singer, short, fat and bald. Brock, by the way, happens to be a former pro-wrestler. Hennig tries to distract Saturn so that Duncum can get the drop on him - but it fails. Saturn disposes of Duncum then challenges Hennig to put his fists where his mouth is. Hennig accepts the challenge, cowboy hat and all and we are on wih a completely different match. Saturn starts out strong but once Hennig regains his composure he is all over his opponent - and he has Duncum helping from the outside. Saturn fiights his way out of the corner so Hennig hits him with a mule kick to the groin to take back the initiative. He is on the top for a bit then Saturn comes back with some martial arts moves until Hennig uses his torn t-shirt to cover Saturn's face. That gains him a slight respite but then Saturn is back with a vengence. This brings the rest of the Cowboys to the ring and Saturn is hog tied and stomped until his friends bail him out. Cut to commercial.

We review the match between David Flair and Chris Benoit for the US Title last week - including DDP's interference.

Diamond Dallas Page (w/the Triad) vs. Chris Benoit - this is a knock-down drag-out from the get-go. Both guys are really pouring it on throughout the match. Page is bigger but Benoit has that speed and that intensity that even Page has a hard time matching. But Page is sneakier and takes control early on. Once on top he is relentless. Charles Robinson referees and seems to be calling it square. In fact, Page seems a little put out at him during what he sees as a slow count. Page goes to the top but Benoit jumps up and shakes the ropes to bring him down. Both collapse to the mat. They rise to their knees and trade punches. Benoit recovers enough to go after his German suplex - Page delivers a low blow from behind to thwart that move. Benoit then comes back with a DDT and Page is down.Benoit gets his swan dive headbutt then has to pause for a moment and knock David Flair off the apron. He comes back and rolls Page up for a pin. Pag and Flair attack after the fact but it's a little late at this point. Page puts three Diamond Cutters on him, the last one off the top rope then grabs a belt and starts whipping him. In the back, Sid is talking to himself again. He vows to have the greatest win/loss record of all time and refers to himself as the "Millenium Man." Wait a minute...which promotion is this..? Cut to commercial.

Mean Gene is in the ring again as we return. He calls the Macho man out for an interview. Savage comes out alone for a change, despite the fact that Okerlund introduced Gorgeous George as Savage's companion. Gene questions that immediately. Savage says he's put his Presidential campaign has been put on hold and GG is under lock and key. He threatens Hogan, Nash and Dennis Rodman with bodily harm. He calls Rodman to the ring - "lets get it on right now!!" he says. Bischoff notes that Rodman is in the building somewhere. Mona (Miss Madness) shows up. She pleads for her job once again. He questions her loyalty and forces her to beg on bended knee but still says she's fired then goes back to challenging Rodman. The Worm shows up with 4x4 and Swoll. He uses language which is bleeped, prompting Savage to answer in kind. Mona is still on her knees in the ring. Savage and Rodman trade insults. Then Mona hits Savage a low blow from behind. He staggers and that gives Rodman a chance to run in and deliver some blows of his own. He knocks Savage down with a clothesline to the back of the head then drops two elbows on him as we cut to commercial.

Vampiro (w/ICP/Raven) vs. Eddie Guerrero - Vamp comes in to a new ICP cut being releasd on an upcoming WCW album from Tommy Boy records and does the old Chris Jericho schtick, leaning into the crowd to accept their caresses. Guerrero is really outnumbered here. Of course he has, Misterio in reserve. This match is even faster and more furious then the Benoit/Page thriller. Almost inmmediately, the Posse get involved - tripping Guerrero from the outside. Vampiro is quick to take advantage of the situation. He throws Guerrero into a cameraman then follows him out and runs him into the railing, then the steps. Back in the ring, Guerrero is in trouble. Vamp gets a cover and a two-count. Guerrero fights out of the corner, but Vamp catches him in a chokeslam to regain the advantage. Vamp gets hung up on the top rope and one of the Posse comes to his aid. Eddie knocks both of them to the floor then knocks the other Clown off the opposite side. He returns to the original attackers and suicide dives them on the floor. As Vamp regains his composure, Raven delivers a cheap shot which gives Vampiro the win. They start to lay into Eddie but Misterio and Konnan show up to save his cookies. Cut to commercial.

Bischoff invites Hogan out to comment on the next match. The Brain decides to bail for the duration. We break for a commercial.

Sting/Goldberg vs. Rick Steiner/Sid Vicious - Hogan is disappointed that Nash chose not to accept his challenge outlined earlier. Sid and Steiner back off from the ring as Goldberg enters the ring. They turn and charge the ring and it's on two-on-two until Steiner and Sid are run out of the ring. Sid jumps on the apron and gets suplexed into the ring then rolls out. Steiner gets downed by Goldberg. Sting then fgoes outside and gets caught and rammed into the stairs. Back in the ring, Sting is in trouble and his partner is stuck on the apron. Sting breaks free and starts hammering on Sid. But Sid recovers and hits a chokeslam. Goldberg has to break up the pin attempt. Steiner then puts Sting into a surfboard. Goldberg is doing his part, distracting the referee so that the bad guys can double team his partner. Sting gets loose and hits a splash...on Sid's kneecaps. Again Sting's partner ditracts the referee, allowing Steiner to choke Sting on the apron. ASteiner then goes for a chair which brings Hogan to his feet. He grabs the chair and hits Steiner and Sid with it - causing a DQ on Sting and Goldberg. Nash runs in at the last second before the program fades.

RAW Report

RAW comes to us on video tape tonight.

The Acolytes immediately come out for the interview. Bradshaw dares the Undertaker and the Big Show to bring their punka$$es out. Faarooq added his two cents. They got Hardcore Holly instead. Holly says it's the Acolytes' lucky night because "his boys" weren't in attendance for the Raw show. He refers to himself as "the leader of the super heavyweights" and asks The Acolytes what they want to do. Bradshaw asks Holly which one of them does he want to take on. Holly say's "both" and is promptly destroyed. Edge is interviewed backstage and says he is very disappointed in his little brother Christian. The participants in the next match make their entrances then we cut to commercial.

Edge vs. Gangrel - Bloodbath match - a black plastic bucket of blood is placed on a big box on the outside of the ring. Gangrel dominates the contest, knocking Edge to the floor several times and outwrestling him at every turn, then brings in a chair. But Edge manages to kick it into his opponent's face. Edge later goes for his wimpy spear, but ends up ramming into the chair Gangrel is holding. Gangrel comes back with the Implant DDT. He heads for the bucket of blood, but the lights go off. When they come back on, Gangrel is covered in blood, with Christian standing next to him. Edge takes the win. Christian walks into the ring and hugs Edge, apparently they were officially a team again. Good, Gangrel doesn't need either of these losers to weigh him down. Cut to commercial.

Shane McMahon comes out to rant. The "A$$hole" chants come on strong. Shane laments his father's situation then turns to Jim Ross and makes threatening noises. He gives his dad credit for creating the wrestling business, saying that even Ted Turner owes McMahon for his success and compares his father's balls to grapefruit (Wow! That's gotta hurt! How do you buy pants with a condition like that..?). He says he's promised HHH a win at SummerSlam, then focused his enmity on Test. Test then appears on the platform and promised to go after the Posse one by one until he gets to Shane then says he'll make Stephanie an only child and stick that "silver spoon" where the sun don't shine.

The Big Show/The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Road Dogg/Kane - the underdoggs start out strong and after some byplay, hit a double clothesline that sends the big guys over the top to the floor. But later it is Road Dogg who ends up facing the Undertaker with nothing but his fists (not enough by a long shot) and then being isolated until he hits low blows on the the Big Show then UT to make his escape. Kane comes in cleans house then sets and delivers a chokeslam on his brother but is distracted by the Big Show who then snaps his neck off the top rope. He is propelled into his brother's clutches and Tombstoned for the win. Wight drops a splash on the big red machine for good measure. The Acolytes run in to help but are taken out by a baseball bat wielding Bob Holly. In the back, the Rock arrives and bullys some fans. Cut to a video of Maivia making a promotional appearance in Pittsburgh then to commercial.

We return to footage from Fully Loaded - the Rock vs. HHH is reviewed.

Billy Gunn was interviewed, along with Chyna, who is wearing a hat. He sets up what is supposed to be a video of the Rock coming out of the shower but in fact is an obese woman. Maivia appears on the TitanTron and runs his mouth back at them.

Jeff Jarrett vs. D-Lo brown - Title for Title match - the match starts with a round of fisticuffs. D-Lo is clearly in control from the get-go. Jarrett starts to leave the area but changes his mind. The fight goes to the floor where Jarrett is dropped onto the stairs. Back inside, Brown goes for a flying move off the top but gets drop-kicked out of the air. Jarrett starts to work on Browns shoulder then switches to a sleeper. D-Lo almost goes out but then recovers. He escapes but runs into Jarrett's knee to the gut followed by a DDT and a two count. D-Lo comes back with a catapult and drops a leg then goes for the cover. No cigar. The referee gets knocked out just before Brown hits the Sky Low on Jarrett. Debra attempts to distract him but he ignores her and hit Jarrett with one of the belts and takes the win - and both titles. Cut to c commercial for Goldberg's movie.

Terry Taylor catches up with Jarrett who blames Debra for his loss.

Stone Cold Steve Austin rants off on HHH saying that his whole speech last week was bull. The Undertaker shows up with the Pauls and challenges Austin to a Title match tonight. Then they attack him and leave him laying in the ring.

The Big Bossman vs. Viscera - Hardcore Title match - a rather uninspired match as these types go. It goes almost immediately to the floor and then into the crowd and up near the platform. Bossman tries to use a fire extinguisher as a weapon but Viscera grabs it away and sprays him with it. Viscera goes for his big splash with Bossman positioned on a table but misses and tastes wood. Bossman then uses his nightstick to beat Viscera senseless and take the pin. Please give this title back to Al Snow or Road Dogg (or even Bob Holly) so we can get back to some decent matches!

In the back. Mike Cole interviews Steve Austin who is livid. He accepts the World Title match against the Undertaker. HHH finds out and is not happy about this development. Cut to commercial.

Test vs. Rodney - Test was immediately attacked by both Rodney and Joey Abs as he makes his way down to the ring. Rodney sends Abbs away but then his advantage is short lived. Test takes the fight back to the floor, runs his opponent into every object in sight, manhandles his opponent. He works on his arm with elbow drops from the top corner then forces him to submit to a hammerlock. He then continues to work on the arm for a while with a chair no less. Abbs shows up again but Test is ready for him with the chair so Abbs backs off. Test goes back to work on the arm, whacking it with the chair on the apron before stalking away. HHH manhandles Cole backstage when informed that Austin has accepted the Title match. Cut to commercial.

Steve Blackman vs. Val Venis - Blackman brings his bag along and then has some footage of his auto "accident" involving Ken Shamrock then does his worst impression of Ernest Miller. Val comes out ith his usual aplomb and delivers his double entendre opening speech. Blackman lets him have his say then attacks immediately. Val hammers back and, of course, he is actually a wrestler. He puts Blackman into a submission hold, which the latter breaks up with a succession of low blows. Once he regains his verticle base, Blackman takes control with some swift kicks. Val almost gets the pin with a fisherman's suplex. He is back on top again momentarily but then dives right into an upraised boot. Shamrock runs in at this point with a chain and chases Blackman from the ring. He catches up with him but then is restrained by a security guy. He escapes and catches Blackman again in the backstage area. He pounds on him with his chain enclosed fist until officials break it up.

Stone Cold Steve Austinvs. The Undertaker (w/The Big Show, Paul Bearer) - World Title match - no holds barred - HHH shows up ahead of Austin and confronts UT. Austin arrives at the ring and a three way fight breaks out, then a four way - with Wight fighting HHH while Austin and the Undertaker beat on each other. The Acolytes show up followed by Kane, then the Road Dogg, then Bob Holly, then Billy Gunn, then the Rock. The ring is full of bodies then the fight spills out to the floor. In the ring, Austin Stuns Billy as HHH Pedegrees the Road Dogg and the program fades.

I'll be back Friday with the Thunder Report and the next installment of the Ricky Steamboat interview. Until then...

At least that's the way I see it...

Earl Oliver
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