Dedicated to Gordon Solie
January 29, 1929 - July 27, 2000
Both Johnny Valentine and his wife Sharon will appear February 10, 2001 at the Las Vegas Cauliflower Alley Club convention/banquet at the Riviera Hotel/Casino. At that time, the CAC will honor Johnny for his years in the business and award him both a plaque and cash (check). At this time he is seriously in great need of cash.
You, or any individual, can donate to this fund. All monies collected between now and February 10, 2001, will be given to the Valentines during the February 10th ceremony.
Your contribution (unless you'd rather remain anonymous), will be noted on the special award given to Johnny, listing your name and address (sorry, amount of your contribution will not be listed).
To donate to this very worthwhile cause, please send your check made out to the CAC Benevolent Fund and mail it to:
Note: 100% of your donation will go to Johnny Valentine. The Cauliflower Alley Club is not keeping any portion of the money.
For additional information about the CAC, please check out this legendary organizationís web pages at Scott Tealís dynamic, Whatever Happened ToÖ? site:
Contact: J Michael Kenyon, Director, Cauliflower Alley Club, email@example.com
New York, NY -- August 31, 2000 -- Little Bro' Ltd. The release of sensitive excerpts from the forthcoming pro wrestling book, "Bodyslams!", a reportedly hard hitting examination of the professional wrestling industry by former WWF/WCW TV announcer Gary Michael Cappetta has been delayed by the author's and publisher's legal counsel.
Upon the advice of attorney John Kelly of the firm, Davis & Davis, New York, the passages which were to be issued this Friday will be held up pending a closer examination of their content.
Sherry Lambert, a promotions representative for "Bodyslams!" has been assured that the book will go to press next week as planned in anticipation for its October 5th release. "We have received numerous requests from newspaper columnists, radio hosts and internet shows interested in interviewing Mr. Cappetta. We will remain on schedule and we'll begin lining up media appearances next week. This delay is to be expected given Gary's straight forward style of writing to tackle some of the more sensitive issues that the wrestlers and corporate insiders never address."
By Liz Wilson
Joanie Laurer was an ungainly girl with an underbite and unlikely ambition. Then she remade herself as Chyna, joined the World Wrestling Federation, and became a star beyond her wildest dreams. Here she is, a different kind of Miss America. Here she is, the girl no one took to the prom, all grown up, all turned out; jet-black hair, high black boots, tight black turtleneck, leopard-print mini.
The clothes don't make the woman, though. The body does. In heels, she's six-three, about 200 pounds-all muscle, except for the customized breasts, which seem roughly equal to those of the outrageously proportioned Standing Woman, who does her standing here in the lobby of the Museum of Modern Art in New York. In fact, as our girl passes Gaston LaChaise's 1932 Bronze, it occurs that she could kick sand in Standing Woman's face. The museum is crowded. People are checking her out. She's a spectacular mystery to the art students, pale kids with sketchbooks. But the tourists, they've seen her before: on TV, a player in the great American Kabuki.
"Excuse me," says a security guard.
"Yes?" she says sweetly.
"Excuse me," he says again, trying to get up his courage. The guard's days are spent in the presence of Matisse's dancers, Picasso's prostitutes, and Lichtenstein's comic book heroines. But to judge from the look on his face--an adoring expression one might associate with readers of Tiger Beat--he is only coming into the presence of real beauty.
"You're Chyna, aren't you?" he stammers. "I love what you do."
Yes, she is Chyna. Or, as she most likes to describe herself, "an empowered woman who kicks guys in the nuts for a living." Chyna is a professional wrestler: the right girl at the right time, in the right business.
It is difficult to overstate wrestling's influence on American culture. Wrestling has been on television since the Nielsen family received its first black-and-white set. Wrestling has survived Ralph Kramden, Walter Cronkite, and Johnny Carson. There would be no Muhammad Ali without a wrestler named Gorgeous George. Jesse Ventura was elected governor because of--not despite--his training as a wrestler. Wrestling is easily the most-watched programming on cable. It's the reason a generation of American boys know nothing of Monday Night Football.
The day Chyna showed up at the Museum of Modern Art, two of her World Wrestling Federation co-workers were on the New York Times best-seller list, their biographies moving more briskly than the works of a presidential hopeful, a couple of anchormen, a Pulitzer Prize-winner, and the Dalai Lama. Now, as ever, wrestling nourishes the American desire for bad acting, great stuntmanship, and a brand of vulgarity comnsurate with the age. Today's wrestling personas include pimps and jail guards, vampires and acrobats. But their ancestors are archetypes: bleach-blond heel, barrel-chested Babyface, the Giant, the Midget, and the bikini-clad, hair-pulling girl.
But there has never been a Girl like Chyna. There's never been a wrestler like Chyna. Her persona dispensed with wrestling's last taboo: violence between the sexes. It's one thing to beat up on the guys. It's another to get as good as you give. And people can't seem to get enough. Chyna dwells in the vortex of American Celebrityhood: on the covers of Newsweek and TV guide, as a guest of Jay Leno and Regis Philbin, with a recurring role on 3rd rock from the sun. The Harpercollins biography is due out soon. "I see myself as Wonder Woman 2000," she says. "Now women who aren't even wrestling fans look at me and go, 'Wow, cool.'"
She's been called wrestling's version of Xena, Warrior Princess, the hit show title character played by Lucy Lawless. This isn't a comparison Chyna particularly likes. All the wrestlers have gimmicks, and she dismisses Xena's as "the pseudo-lesbian thing." Neither Xena nor the actress who plays her took the hits Chyna did growing up. "When you look at Lucy Lawless," Chyna says, "she's not this muscular woman who would stick out in a crowd like a sore thumb. I am. When I first started, I wasn't cool. I was called beastly and horrible. Chyna didn't just happen overnight. It took years to literally mold this character into this beautiful kick-ass woman."
The metamorphosis of an unhappy girl from upstate New York into Chyna, Wrestling Princess, is heavy with dysfunction, dislocation, and desperate narcissistic desire. "Sometimes I wonder how I ever ended up on the right track," she says. "I've dealt with a lot of problems and rejection in my life. It still affects me. I've reached this pinnacle in my career, but when I look around I'm still very much alone." Big girls do cry.
Joanine Laurer was born 30 years ago in Rochester, New York, the third child in a miserable marriage. "My mom was a nutbag," she says. "My father was an alcoholic."
Family lore has the Laurer union reaching its finale as a Hardcore Match between two heels: Mom and Dad. Mom dropped a plate of spaghetti over Dad's head. Dad stabbed her with a kitchen knife. Dad got out. Mom got custody and, for a few years, public assistance checks. "Joanie was a very easy kid when she was younger," says her mother, Jan Laque. "I loved her dearly."
"It was always a constant fight, wondering what she was going to be mad about," says Chyna. Joanie, as she recalls herself, was a big little girl with a severe underbite and an unreasonable ambition to be a movie star. "She liked to dress up and do little skits for the family," says Laque. "I was always trying to perform," says Chyna. "It was an attention thing."
Joanie felt neglected compared with the miniature schnauzers her mother took to raising her with her new husband. "I think she was better able to show her love for those puppies than for me," Chyna says now. The dogs were raised in the basement, where the new husband had built a kennel."Just a chain-link fence around a bunch of two-by-fours," says Chyna. But it also served as a makeshift wrestling ring. Joanie would watch from the top of the stairs as her older brother and his friends staged matches. The boys would gladly roll around in dog crap just to pretend they were Bruno Sammartino, Sergeant Slaughter, or Killer Kowalski.
"I was to laugh, thinking, 'There goes my brother, doing his stupid stuff,'" Chyna says.
Stupid or not, wrestling inspired a kind of exuberant amusement rare in Joanie's house. "I remember being very young--must've been in the fourth grade--and my mother taking us to one of those matches at the Rochester War Memorial," Chyna says. "It was very dirty. You could hear the sound of beer sticking to your feet. I don't remember who was wrestling or who was who. But the thing I remember most was my mother's demeanor changing. I remember her being rowdy, yelling and screaming and laughing and having a wonderful time." That never happened, says Laque. "I never took Joan to wrestling, Wrestling is not my style."
You wonder though, about the emotional grappling between mother and daughter. It intensified as Joanie reached high school. She began as a great student with a facility for languages. She sang in the chorus. She played the cello. She starred in high school productions of Die Fliedermaus and Grease. Then one day Joanie came home from school and found her mother trying to move in compliance with Jane Fonda's instructions. Joanie figured if her mother could do it, so could she. If mom did Fonda's aerobic routine once, Joanine did it three times. In repition, she found a kind of recognition, "a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment I wasn't getting anywhere else." Soon her fondness for Fonda became something more intense: a desire that led Joanie to the gym. She stared lifting weights.
As it happened, physical fitness did nothing for her relationship with Mom. Nor did it make her popular. Chyna remembers most kids ignoring the big girl with the underbite. She recalls none of the usual "kid things." She had no boyfriends. She remembers emphatically saying no to drugs. Of course, Mom remembers different. "She was like a zombie," says Laque. "We didn't know what to do."
So they had a sit-down: Joanie, mom, Mom's new husband, and a psychologist from an outpatient addiction clinic. "One of the things she told us is that she was doing mushrooms, whatever those are," says Laque. "We just weren't getting along, so my mother's obvious excuse was I must've been a drug addict," Chyna says bitterly. "That was the only reason her daughter could be so aloof and such a nasty girl."
At the psychologist's recommendation, Joanie went to live with her father and his new wife. Dad had stopped drinking. He could be charming and funny. But Joanie was never quite sure what he did for a living. Sometimes he'd advertise himself as "Dr. Laurer." Occasionally, he'd insert "Von": Dr. Von Laurer. It would have made a great wrestling name.
Once, as the bills started to mount, she remembers her pulled the car over and chucked the keys into the river. He said he was going to Eastern Europe, where, he told his daughter, he would be "teaching people about capitalism." Meanwhile Joanie kept lifting. Nothing could stop her. Not the kids who called her "Beast." Not the stepmother who asked if she were a lesbian. Sure, she'd go home, close the door, and get a good cry. But then she'd go right back to the gym. "Why stop?" She asks. "I felt ugly anyway. I didn't have a whole lot of friends. So what did it matter? It wasn't going to make it any better if I stopped. At least in that little gym world there were people who were staring to notice.
"I liked the looks I got. Guys in the gym would see me lifting this ungodly amount of weight. Or maybe they were just looking at my body, and I liked that. The more I lifted, the more people would look at me. You could just tell what they were thinking. 'Oh my god, she's so big. So strong.'" In those days most girls wanted to look like Olivia Newton-John, or as if they'd stepped out of the movie Flashdance. Not Joanie, though. Suddenly, Chyna says, "I felt unique."
To be continued...
Scenes from Nitro light the screen: Kevin Nash is the new World Champ, Goldberg is on a rampage and Bret Hart is back and swinging shovels. Thunder was taped Tuesday night in Tucson, Arizona.
Team Canada comes to the ring with their new "prisoner", Major Gunns. She wears a Canadian maple leaf on her brief top, and waves the Canadian flag with a remarkable lack of enthusiasm. Lance Storm is introduced by Elix Skipper then rants about how happy she is to be with them. The Canadian anthem starts up and she peels off her top to reveal an American flag bikini top. Team Canada are facing Kronic in the opening contest - and right away it seems like they are overmatched. The Major watches disinterestedly as they fly out of the ring and land on the floor. Elix Skipper is just too lightweight to have any affect on Brian Clarke. Adams comes in and puts the nail in his coffin, so to speak. Finally the two Canadians manage to drop Clarke with a double DDT. Storm comes in and is almost immediately downed again. Clarke gets a pumphandle slam on Skipper but Storm saves his butt. He tries to get Gunns to give him the flag...and she gives it to him alright - right in the gut. Storm is destroyed and pinned. After the match, Skipper gets into Gunns face which draws General Rection out to clean his clock. Storm back jumps him which brings the rest of the MIA out to drive the Canadians off.
A black limo pulls up out back and disgorges the new World Champ and his retinue. They are met by the Natural Born Idiots, then head inside. After the break they enter the ring and each of the major players make a statement. Scott Steiner is pretty upset, he has two black eyes, a possible detached retina, and has been told that he can't wrestle at Fallbrawl - but says he plans to compete in any case - against Goldberg. Kevin Nash talks about his World Title match on Monday, explaining that he now realizes that Jeff Jarrett called the match fairly in order to not taint his victory. Yeah, right... Daffney and her secret admirer have appeared at ringside for some reason. They take seats. Nash says he is setting up a test for the Idiots (Tony calls the the Natural Born Suck-Ups). But he is interrupted by Booker T's music and the former Champ appears on the platform. Nash puts the Suck-Ups between himself and his nemesis. Booker calls his own back-up to the platform - Vito, Mike Awesome and the Filthy Animals. He finishes his speech then they head for the ring. The Animals engage the Suck-Ups while Booker and Awesome make it to the ring. Booker pounds Nash into the corner until security personnel pull him off and restrain him.
During the break, Nash threw Terry Taylor out of his chair and took over the booking for the night. He sends Reno out to face...somebody... Mean Gene talks to the General who challenges Lance Storm to a US Title at Fallbrawl. It is commented on that the wedding of David Flair and Miss Hancock will take place in Flair's home town (and his father's), Charlotte, NC.
Reno gets sent out to face Mike Awesome...poor guy. He is clearly on the receiving end from the get-go. He eventually side-steps a rush in the corner and gets some offense in. Then he goes to the floor and tries to intimidate Daffney's friend, Ozzy, but gets shoved back. Awesome attacks him and returns him to the ring for an Awesome Bomb and the pin. Afterward, Reno drags Ozzy over the rail and creams him. Backstage, Scott Steiner lays into Reno with his pipe because he lost.
During the break, Jarrett attacked Awesome backstage. WCW officials Jimmy Hart and Fit Finley try to restrain him but they are ineffective. In a pre-taped interview, Paul Orndorff talks about his work at the PowerPlant. Tony relates to Orndorff that some of his graduates (the Idiots, for instance), are not grateful for his help. Orndorff shows some of the old Mr. Wonderfull fire as he denounces his former students. I see an angle developing...
We are shown that during that interview, the Idiots were holding up insulting placards referring to Orndorff as old and out of it, etc. Booker T is interviewed by Pamela Paulshock - he has been booked to face Mike Sanders on the show tonight. He is not impressed...
Jindrak and O'Haire get a Title shot at the Filthy Animals. Before the match the Idiots tell Juvey and Rey Rey that in order to make it more fair, they can have the Disco Inferno help them. This program is turning into a version of the old WCWSN show if you ask me... As it turns out, these rookies are really not even a match for Juvey and Rey Misterio on their own. Throw in Disco, and Jindrak and O'Haire are really in for it. In fact, Juvey is a little over confident - and gives the rookie team their first opening. From the floor, they double hip toss Juvey back into the ring over the top rope. But still, Misterio gets the tag and the Champs are back in charge again. Rey eventually gets the pin on O'Haire (I think - I can't tell them apart...) after delivering a big leg drop on his inner thigh.
Backstage, Nash is tells Sanders to hurt Booker and take him out...like he could do that. Jarrett hands Nash a piece of paper with the name of the opponent he wants to face tonight. Nash says, "This could end your career..." Jarret agrees but says, "Book it."
As we return from the break, Jindrak and O'Haire are nursing their wounds and urging Mike Sanders to go win one for the team. He heads to the ring and Steiner knocks them down with his pipe. Soon Sanders is, of course, getting his clock cleaned by the former Champ. He is pinned in under two minutes. Backstage, after the break, Booker stalks the halls with a very slight limp while Mike Sanders tells Nash, "Hey, I think I hurt his knee..." He also gets clobbered.
Big Vito comes to the ring and challenges Chuck Palumbo, Palumbo comes out with Sean Stasiak. Vito kicks Palumbo's butt until he misses a splash off the top. As Palumbo assumes control, Stasiak is challenging anyone in the back to an arm wrestling contest. In the ring, Vito comes back with a diving DDT and takes the pin. Is this a pattern I discern..?
Backstage, Palumbo is looking for a place to hide backstage. He is unsuccessful...
General Rection comes to the ring with his boys. he and A-Wall are set to meet the Harris Boyz. This is actually a pretty good match-up sizewise, but the Harris brothers have the experience edge. In the middle of the match, Elix Skipper heads for the ring with Major Gunns to provide some distraction. Meanwhile, A-Wall is thrown out and through his own ringside table. He is out of it, leaving the General to face the opposition on his own. He goes for his moonsault but misses. The referee is knocked out by the twins. Then Kronic runs in and smashes the Harris thugs. General Rection gets the duke before he is attacked by Lance Storm. A-Wall finally regains consciousness and chases Storm away.
Backstage, Lea Meow is telling the Jung Dragons they need to be whipped into shape. meanwhile, Nash and Steiner go to fetch Jarrett for his match against...whoever it is... He is praying... As he departs for the ring, nash says, "I'm going to stay here and keep praying..."
Jarrett's opponent is revealed to be Kwiwi (w/Paisley). Well, I guess he better not get him mad... Jarrett attacks him during his intro, not allowing him to get his ring attire off. Paisley joins the broadcast team to Stevie Ray's chagrin for some reason. It is clear these two don't like each other. In fact, Kwiwi hold his own against the chosen one...although he doesn't, of course, win the match. In the middle of this match, Mike Awesome appears and distracts Jarrett - but still Kwiwi is unable to get the pin. The referee tries to push Awesome back up the aisle. Meanwhile, the match is the ring has gone into see-saw mode. Kwiwi gets a series of two counts. But then Jarrett hits the Stroke, and takes the pin. Afterward, Jarrett has a little rant to deliver, calling the just ended contest the "Match of the Year". Right...
Sean Stasiak faces Paul Orndorff for his arm-wrestling contest! Mr. Wonderful is 52 years old (my age!) and he looks fabulous! He is easily as big as Stasiak - bigger in fact. Orndorff wants to compete left handed (he is a south paw) but Stasiak insists on the right. So orndorff accomodates him, and holds the line - then reaches across and punches the punk! He then delivers a classic Orndorff piledriver. Orndorff leaves the ring and comes back with a chair but Stasiak bails. The rest of the Idiots charge in and they all get creamed!!! The crowd is eating this up.
Another limo pulls up out back and Miss Jones and the Cat emerge as we cut to commercial.
The Cat comes to the ring as we return. He calls Nash out for a little talk. Nash shows up with his thugs and pauses on the platform to drink a bottle of water. The Cat is unfazed and books a match for himself against Nash as the main event. He gets Jarrett first with Stener right behind him and takes them both out before Nash attacks him from behind. Miss Jones is right in there trying to help her boss but she is ineffective and then gets hit with a guitar! As the Cat is being punked, Booker T runs out and attacks with a baseball bat. This brings the Idiots out to turn the tables. Stevie Ray is threatening to get froggy, but Tony restrains him. This is typical nWo style overkill. The program ends on that note.
SmackDown was recorded Tuesday night in Fayetteville, NC. Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley makes a surprise appearance at the top of the program and states that she and her husband are reconciled and experiencing "wedded bliss" again. She further says that she was at her injured brother's bedside Sunday night and Monday. Kurt Angle comes to the ring and tries to stir the pot by insisting that HHH hit Stephanie on purpose. She isn't buying it - but then Angle brings up the embrace that HHH and Chyna engaged in and shows the footage. This seems to sway Stephanie and that brings Chyna out to set the record straight - but Angle twists the situation, so Chyna threatens him with bodily harm and heads into the ring. Stephanie gets in her face and then Angle uses the distraction to attack Chyna. Edde Guerrero runs down and chases Angle away. Angle and Stephanie leave together and we go to commercial.
Back in the dressing room after the break, Angle continues to sew discension and then Hunter shows up and finds them together. He gets upset and Angle splits then Stephanie slaps him and demands to know why he didn't tell her about his encounter with Chyna. He replies that he didn't mention it because it didn't mean anything - it was a friendship hug. He loses his temper but then says he is going to go away and cool down while she regains her senses.
The Road Dogg comes to the ring and denounces the Right to Censor. This brings RTC to the platform and Bull Buchanan does some denuciation of his own then runs in on the attack. They grapple rather dispiritedly for a couple of minutes and then Steven Richards decides to get involved. He hits the Dogg in the back as he bounces off the ropes. His head goes down and Bull goes for a scissor kick - but the Dogg recovers and sidesteps the move then uses Bull's momentum against him and gets the pin. Backstage, Chyna demands a match with Angle, but the commissioner demures. Instead he makes a triple threat match - HHH. Angle and Eddie G.
Next up, Jacqueline, Edge and Christian against Lita and the Hardeys in a "six-person" tag team match. This is a typical Hardeys/Edge-Christian outing with plenty of high flying action and occasional wimpy spears. Add in Jacqueline's ability to stand toe-to-toe with most men and it makes for a fast-paced, high impact contest. As usual (or so it seems...) Jeff Hardey wins the match with a Swanton Bomb on Christian. After the match, the Hardeys join their father at ringside to celebrate.
Angle catches up with Stephanie, who is standoffish and doesn't want to talk to him. She tells him she wants some space.
Saturn comes to the ring with Terri to defend his European Title against Al Snow. Saturn is acting somewhat possesive toward his companion, pulling her skirt down when she flounces it up during their entrance, for instance. In the match, Snow shows his superior wrestling skills - Saturn is a veritable suplex machine and a martial arts expert, but Snow definitely shows more skill on the mat. Terri has to distract the referee and then Snow by grabbing Head and jumping up on the apron to give Saturn a chance to turn the tables - but he doesn't. She leaves Head behind as she is knocked off the apron, which confuses the referee for a moment. The distraction almost gives Saturn the chance to slap on the Rings - but not quite. Snow reverses the move into a Dragon Sleeper and wins the match!! Al Snow is the new European Champion.
In the dressing room. Hunter has calmed down and finally manages to explain his relationship with Chyna. She accepts it - but then he has to bring up her kissing Kurt Angle. "Just Joe" is listening outside the door as Hunter gets upset again and starts breaking furniture. After the break, Al Snow tells Kevin Kelly that he is going to take the European Title back to "all the people of Europea...
The Undertaker comes to the ring to face Chris Benoit for a chance to challenge for the World Title. Benoit shows a lot of savy by going after the big guy's pins - trying to cut him down to size. But his strategy really doesn't get a chance to come to fruition as UT battles back. Then Kane runs down and intereferes. He beats his brother into the corner then starts in on Benoit. But this lasts only a moment and then both Benoit and Kane go to town on UT. The Rock then runs down and helps the Undertaker to thwart his attackers. Benoit and Kane get back into it briefly on the outside, then decide that is getting neither of them anywhere.
Tazz heads to the ring to have a match and lay some of his usual intimidation on the announce team. He wants to know where JR is, he makes a sick joke about Ross' medical condition. He threatens to make Lawler another victim - but the Millenium Bug shows up and interrupts his tirade with a rant of his own, telling Tazz that he has changed the mood to one of total boredom, and various members of the non-wrestling crew all want a piece of him. Y2J further tells Tazz that he considers him to be a schoolyard bully and he intends to treat him as such. The fight gets underway and is relatively even during the early going, then the tide begins to shift toward Jericho until Tazz suddenly bails and attacks Lawler. As soon as he turns away, of course, the King attacks and gets in some licks of his own. Tazz retreats back into the ring and locks a Tazzmission on his opponent. But Jericho finds a way out of the hold...a low blow. He uses a Lionsault to take the pin. Tazz tries to attack lawler again but is hauled away by a phalanx of referees. Backstage, "Just Joe" tattles on HHH to Kurt Angle, implying that Hunter is beating his wife "again..."
Bactstage again and Kaientai are having a laugh watching the Dudleys getting destroyed during the ladder match from SummerSlam. The Dudleys walk in on this and chase them out of the room. This followed by the Dudleys making their entrance to face Kaientai in a match. The Acolytes appear on the platform as the match gets underway and they are dressed to provide some "protection" - but it isn't clear who they are working for. In the ring, the Dudleys are creaming their opponents as the Acolytes look on but resist getting involved. As Taka is subjected to a 3D - the Acolytes hit the ring and put Devon down so that Funaki can pin him. The Acolytes split as the Dudleys pull out a table and set it up inside the ring. Both members of Kaientai are sent through the table with no Acolytes in sight to prevent it.
Angle finds Stephanie in the coffeeroom and wants to know if Hunter has been hitting her. She insists that they simply had a fight and will work things out. After the break, Val Venis confronts Trish Stratus and tells her they are finished. She says, "You'll be sorry..." after he leaves.
Venis is involved in the next match against his longtime rival, Rikishi. Val runs in and goes right on the attack, taking the early advantage but failing to hold onto it as the big guys knocks him out to the floor, then follows him out and runs him into the steps. Back inside, Rikishi squashes his opponent three times in the corner. Then the Right to Censor run in and attack Rikishi - but he fights them off. Richards comes back and delivers a shot with the ringbell, thus giving Venis the pinfall.
HHH is apologizing to his wife again (is it me or is he always doing that...love is having to say you're sorry...again and again and again... He promises to control his temper, they embrace...and then a knock sounds at the door. A policeman is at the door and says that a complaint of spousal abuse has been lodged against Hunter and they want him to come downtown for questioning. HHH is hauled away despite the protests from his wife that he has never hit her (on purpose, that is...) They encounter the Commish in the hallway and he declares that since HHH is being taken away, he will book the main event as a singles match between Angkle and Guerrero...and orders Steph to be in Angle's corner!
Sure enough, Stephanie appears as a somewhat reluctant companion to her friend who would like to be more. Guerrero wastes no time in attacking Angle as soon as he enters the ring.Angle is knocked to the floor at Chyna's feet and ends up being bouced between the two of them. Back inside, Guerrero is creaming his opponent with punches as the referee tries to break it up. Guerrero eventually is knocked to the floor where Angle grabs a chair but Chyna wrestles it out of his hands. Back inside, Eddie G lays in some heavyduty forearm uppercuts in the corner then gets a two-count. Angle knocks Guerrero off the apron and he falls on Stephanie. She responds with a slap and the distraction gives Angle the opening to turn the tables. Now it is all Angle, but he is unable to finish the job. Guerrero makes a comeback and slaps on a sleeper. This gets the girls involved and distracts the referee so that Angle can use the IC Title belt to bean Guerrero and get the pin. Chyna attacks Angle and ejects him from the ring then turns her ire on Stephanie. But Steph stands her ground and Chyna is so surprised that she almost lets the bosses daughter get away with it - but not quite. She drags Steph back into the ring and puts her down with DDT. Stephanie and Kurt limp away and the program comes to a close.
Yoshihiro Tajiri hits a drop-kick to the face of his opponent as the program opens. We are in the middle of a tag team match recap in which he and Mikey Whipwreak advance to the finals of the Tag Team Title tournament. ECW is coming to us on tape from New York city at the Hammerstein Ballroom where the one night tournament is underway. Steve Corino is invited to the ring and arrives with a guitar player Billy Corgan in tow. He is in the middle of an interview as the #1 contender to the World Title when Lou E Dangerously comes in to shut them all up. His bully boys punk Corino and Corgan.
The Sandman and Chilli Willi take on Rhino and Justin Credible in a tag team tournament brawl. Within seconds, the two good guys are on the mat and the bad guys have a chair in the ring. But Sandman recovers and gets his hands on his cane. He gets in a couple of shots but is overwhelmed and almost pinned after being piledriven into the table. The second pin attempt succeeds - Rhino and Credible advance.
Next up, Simon and Swinger (w/CW "I'm notta" Anderson) wrestle their semi-final match against Danny Doring and Roadkill. The match is a slugfest, plain and simple and S&S are tossed to the floor immediately, then Doring hits them both with an inside to outside splash. Back inside S&S fare no better until their friend the fake Anderson gets involved. Now it is Simon against Doring and he is doing much better with a series of suplexes until Doring succeeds in putting on a double DDT. Roadkill is tagged in and handles both opponents with sidewalk slam for each in turn. He then plants Simon Diamond with a fall-away slam then goes for a top rope splash. But Swinger knocks him off the corner and he smashes through the time keeper's table. Doring is double teamed in the ring and pinned. S&S advance.
We switch to a bar in town then back to see Tommy Dreamer and Jerry Lynn taking on Credible and Rhino and doing a pretty good job of it. But they make the mistake of focusing attention on Francine, which is enough distraction to almost cost them the4 match. As they are flying out of the ring, however, Spike Dudley runs in and delivers some personal revenge on Rhino. As Justin Credible re-enters the ring he is caught by Lynn and piledriven into oblivion (hey! that rhymes!) Dreamer and Lynn advance.
This sets up Dreamer and Lynn to face Simon and Swinger and Tajiri and Whipwreak in the three-way dance final match. Dreamer is back in his neck brace as he makes his way to the ring for this one. His face is all broken up as well. Before the match gets underway, we swtich to the end of another match involving Dreamer, Lynn and Rob Van Dam. Back to the match at hand... Simon sits in the ring watching as Lynn and Tajiri go at it. Swinger comes in to face Mikey and Dreamer. he exhibits his guns (biceps) and challenges the two of them to a test of strength. They oblige then put him down with a double hair pull. All semblence of order now breaks down as all six men are in the ring - then flying out to the floor for a ringside brawl. Dreamer fights Tajiri, Lynn takes on Simon Diamond and Whipwreak goes against Swinger. Back in the ring Lynn grabs a submission hold on Simon the Tajiri joins him to work the rookie over. Swinger is dragged in and ganged up on as well. They are hung up in the tree of woe in opposite corners and worked over. Then the Deamer/Lynn and Whipwreak/Tajiri teams turn on each other - giving Simon and Swinger a chance for revenge on all four of then. CW gets involved and that allows Simon and Swinger to double team Dreamer and eliminate his team. They then succeed in getting the same move on Whipwreak but fail to get the pin this time. At the critical moment, Tajiri sprays green mist in the eyes of Simon then Whipwreak pins him. Whipwreak and Tajiri are the new World Tag Team Champs.
I'll be back on Monday. Until then...
At least that's the way I see it...
Editor, Solie's Wrestling Newsletter
This page is a personal tribute and is in no way connected to any of the wrestling promotions mentioned on it. It is dedicated to the memory of the Dean of Wrestling announcers, Gordon Solie.
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