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Solie's Tuesday Morning Report

Dedicated to Gordon Solie
January 29, 1929 - July 27, 2000

Weekend Edition

Thunder, SmackDown and ECW Reports

Steve Austin Reappears on SmackDown

Vows revenge on whoever it was that ran him down

Kid Kash is the new ECW TV Champ

The FBI takes the ECW Tag Straps

Corino "Pulled" From
NWA World Title Tourney by ECW

Chyna Doll: Part 3

Article about Joan Laurer by Liz Wilson


Volume 5, Issue 595 - September 9, 2000

Corino "Pulled" From NWA World Title Tourney by ECW

TAMPA -- Less than a week after signing a contract to appear in the National Wrestling Alliance World Heavyweight Title Tournament, Extreme Championship Wrestling competitor "Old School" Steve Corino has been "pulled" from the September 19th show by ECW owner Paul Heyman.

According to NWA President Howard T. Brody, word that Corino was being pulled off the show began circulating late Monday afternoon. By late Monday night, the story was confirmed, as Brody called the ECW owner to verify the report.

While Brody did not give details of the 60 minute phone call with Heyman, he did say the "conversation was long overdue," citing that neither party found fault with Corino because his participation was a case of "a non-malicious misunderstanding."

Brody also said that the NWA understands the need for Corino to pursue his opportunities in ECW, but added that the decision was "frustrating" nevertheless.

Meanwhile, Brody said that the void created by Corino offers a very unique opportunity for someone within the rank and file of the NWA to step up and "emerge from the rest of the pack as a bona fide superstar... something the organization needs. We need someone to rally around," Brody said.


Editor's Note: Here is the final installment of an article about Chyna from Talk Magazine.

CHYNA DOLL

from Talk Magazine, June, 2000

By Liz Wilson

Part 3

As Chyna looks back on Joanie's apprenticeship, she says: "For most of those people it was like an extension of being a fan. For me it was that I was going to be a star. No doubt in my mind. This was just one of the things I had to do to get there."

So were the "cheesy videotapes" and portfolios she made, those advertisements for herself she would FedEx and fax to booking agents at the World Wrestling Federation, World Championship wrestling, and Extreme Championship Wrestling. "I had to sell myself," she says.

The real selling, however, she did in person. In the autumn of '96, she got into her Dodge Stealth and drove down to a World Wrestling Federation show in Springfield, Massachusetts. She was wearing four-inch heels and a Victoria's secret catsuit, the sleeves of which had been cut off to better display her ample 14-and-a-half inch arms. There was a ticket for her at the gate. She sat way up in the nosebleed section. The road agent was supposed to come get Joanie for an interview during the show. "I finally get my shot, and he stands me up," Chyna says. She remembers being the last spectator to leave the arena. She was holding her portfolio. She felt like crying. Somebody selling WWF T-shirts told her the wrestlers were staying at the Holiday Inn in Hartford. She didn't want to look like another ring rat, a wrestling groupie. But she hadn't driven all the way from New Hampshire to get stood up, either.

Forty-five minutes later Joanie was in the Holiday Inn lobby, talking on the house phone. "I'm here," she said. "Can you come down and have a cup of coffee with me?" Joanie waited for the road agent at the bar. It was about 1:30 a.m.The wrestlers were dead tired. Finally, the road agent appeared, ordered a beer. Joanie went through her portfolio, telling him how she lifted and wrestled, and he tried to be polite, asking if she was hungry.

Two off-duty blond Heels dropped by their table. The road agent introduced them by their ring names: Shawn Michaels, whose persona was acrobatic and obnoxious, and Hunter Hearst Helmsley, who was muscle-bound and obnoxious.

"Oh, you're Hunter," said Joanie. "You trained with Walter Kowalski, didn't you?" As first lines go, that was a first. Before long, Shawn and Hunter and Joanie were sitting at the same table talking wrestling. Hunter needed some kind of manager or valet to get him over with the crowd. "Look at her," said Shawn, marveling at Joanie's superhero build. "She'd make a great bodyguard." Joanie understood immediately. "The first female bodyguard," she said. "Very cool."

She was going to be a star. She just had to work out the details. One of which was Blais. One night around this time, she came home and told him, "I don't love you anymore." Joanie told him to get his stuff. She was crying as he started packing. But Blais was crying more. "It was very cruel," Chyna says. "I didn't care what the hell it took," Chyna says.

Three years later, Chyna's table at Sette overlooks the MoMA scuplture garden. She's nursing a glass of Merlot, talking about her breasts. "I've always wanted them," she says. "They were the one thing on my body I couldn't develop." As it happened, a regular C-cup didn't look right. She was too broad. So, after she broke an implant clotheslining some poor bastard in the ring, Chyna went to the doctor and got fitted for a custom job. The doctor was "a sweetheart." Chyna got him ringside seats.

Then there's the jaw. It's not what she started with either. "The boobs I wanted to do, to add that femininity. The facial stuff I had to do. I had reconstructive surgery because of a terrible underbite. As I got older it became more pronounced. I've been teased about my jaw from the time I was a little girl. The surgery changed the complete structure of my face, which I'm thrilled about." This very afternoon she plans a makeup-buying spree at Saks. "Above all, I'm a woman," she says. "I like to wear makeup and do my hair and wear pretty clothing, even thought I can't find anything to fit me."

Suddenly this sounds like another celebrity interview. Chyna sips her merlot and frets. She doesn't want to be seen as a hypocrite. "I worked so hard to get this unique body," she says. "I'm telling women, 'It's okay to be different, you don't have to be that stereotypical beauty--and there I go and get jaw surgery.'" Then again, surgery is to be expected, as is the occasional hypocrisy. She's a star now.

She took the name Chyna only because it sounded less hokey than Venus or Sheera. The name probably didn't matter much anways. The female bodyguard gimmick was that good. "My job," she says, "was to make people hate me."

As Joanie, she had moved in with Paul Levesque, aka Hunter Hearst Helmsley. As Chyna, she appeared as Helmsley's leather-clad bodyguard, a female Mad Max character. Her signature move -- "the great balls of Chyna"--was a sneak attack attack directed at the privates of Helmsley's opponent. She used an actor's method in delivering the blow, imagining all those who had called her a Beast. In fact, Chyna heard the crowd buzz with the same cruel remarks she'd heard as Joanie. She was getting over huge. Chyna was a new king of Heel. "It helped my career and it helped his," she says, referring to Helmsley. "It put a lot of focus on him, started getting him noticed, this unique thing we were doing: a woman who was beating up the guys."

After a while Chyna had delivered of her typically low blows for audiences to accept the idea of guys hitting her back. "Instead of looking on the guys as wife-beating monsters," she says, "They'd say, 'She finally got what she deserved.'" Another sip of merlot. "Now people don't feel sorry for me when I get hit," she says perkily. It's equal-opportunity ass-kicking.

All that is bad for standards and practices is great for the WWF. Chyna's star persona only got bigger: a muscle-bound dominatrix leavening her character with a kind of surgically enhanced sexuality. "I always had that in me," she says.

Meanwhile, Helmsley--now known as Triple H--became the WWF champ. He is a great heel, now immersed in an "angle" that has him married to Stephanie McMahon, the actual daughter of WWF owner Vince McMahon. Though story lines for Chyna and Triple H have long since diverged, Joanie and Paul still live together.

"It's a double standard," she says. She's talking about marriage, in particular the prospective betrothal of Joanie and Paul. "I'd like to marry him, but I don't think the feeling is mutual." she says. "He sees me venturing off and not being home for two months and he starts to wonder: 'She's not the mommy type.'"

Joanine speaks dreamingly of bringing her imagined child to Smackdown! or Raw. "Like Madonna or Rosie O'Donnell or Pamela Anderson Lee carting their babies on the set," she says. "I think that's, like, the coolest thing."

She wants to be a mother, though she hasn't seen her own in 14 years. "I see Joanie on television," says Laque. " I see a woman who's hidden behind all this. Deep down inside, I think she'd like to have some sort of home base. There's just something about her eyes."

For all of Chyna's villainous cool, Joanie has yet to assimilate in celebrity culture. She's still a fan. Last year she went to the Emmy's, her belated senior prom. She wore a sequin studded leather dress. "A hard shell molded to my body," she says. "They literally baked it on me. You pull up in this limo," she says. "There's like tons of limos, a huge line. And you get out and look over to the right and there's these big bleachers, with all these media people with cameras, screaming at the stars. And you look around and there's all these stars, all these people you see on TV and read about in the tabloids."

"There's Calista Flockhart and Lara Flynn Boyle, each about the size of Chyna's right leg. Then there's Sarah Jessica Parker and her husband, Mattew Broderick.

He steps on Chyna's foot. "Hey," she says, teasing. "You stepped on my foot."

"What?" "You just stepped on my foot."

"Oh," he says, turning away.

Chyna taps him on the shoulder. She's in character now. "You stepped on my foot."

"I'm sorry."

"Well, don't do it again."

That look on Broderick's face still makes her giggle. "Bug-eyes, scared," she says. "I mean, he's like this little peanut of a guy."

Later that night, Parker confronts her in the bathroom.

"You know, you really scared the pants off my husband."

"I was just joking."

What a great night. "I felt like the belle of the ball," says Joanie.

Mr. Blackwell put her number one on his worst-dressed list. "I wanted to tell him, 'Fuck off. I have like 40 wrestlers who would beat you up.'"

Gerry Blais couldn't miss Chyna's debut as a comic actress. The TV in the juice bar at the gym he now manages is tuned to 3rd Rock."He did a great job," he says afterward. "She always does. She's smart. She'll plan it all out, how to get from point A to B...I always knew, from the minute I met her, that she was destined to be a star."

He recalls that meeting in excruciating detail. He recalls the breakup, too--Joanie telling him to pack his stuff, that she didn't love him anymore. "Most devastating day of my life," he says. "I was saving for a ring...It took me so long to get over her, about three years...almost ruined everything in my life... I kept on begging her...I lived in a lot of confusion because I never got any closure from her...I never really got a reason...." When reminded of Joanie's ambition, he says, "But I was happy." Then, suddenly, he sounds a note of apology. "I should've been more ambitious," he agrees.

Blais sees the wrestling shows, of course. "I try not to, out of respect for my current girlfriend," he says, "but I still do." You wonder: Does Blais mourn the girl who left him, or the girl that that girl became? "People used to make fun of her big jaw and her nose and accuse her of being on steroids, which wasn't true," he says. "But I loved everything about her." Chances are, Blais will be watching the next time Chyna kicks some guy in the nuts. He'll be one of millions.

"It's good to know she still thinks about me," he says.



Finally!! The Rock'sand Mankind's Autobiographies are now both available at Solie's Storefront! Check it out for great deals on wrestling books, records and videos. In association with Amazon.com.


Thunder Report

The Natural Born Suck-Ups arrive back at the PowerPlant driven by Smooth. Maybe they plan to learn to wrestle...

Thunder was taped Tuesday night in College Station, Texas on the campus of Texas A&M. Kwee Wee and Paisley come down to the ring for the opening contest. His opponent tonight is Lt. Loco. This is a #1 contenders' match for the Cruiserweight Title. Speaking of the Champion - his awardedness shows up as the match gets underway. Tenay says something about Elix Skipper having held onto that title for a while - but I don't remember him defending that belt (at least not on TV...at least not lately). Before too long, both competitors are covered in the K Man's glitter. Guerrero is making his opponent look good. It is apparent who holds the experience advantage as the match progresses and Kwee Kee starts making rookie mistakes. Paisley finally has to bail him out and almost misses her chance as Guerrero stands waiting for her to push him off the top corner. She eventually comes through and Kwee Wee gets the duke. Major Gunns, who has been sniping at Skipper throught out the match, runs in and goes to town on Paisely until Tigress runs in to break it up. Then the rest of MIA runs in to rescue their team mate from a punk job. Out back, Bret Hart arrives at the arena as we cut to commercial.

Back to the PowerPlant. The Idiots are shown letting themselves into the facility earlier today.The catch Mike Graham and a trainee in the ring. Graham makes a good account of himself but the numbers are overwhelming. The thugs then go looking for Orndorff, pausing to beat up another trainee on the way. They surround Orndorff in his office, telling him its payback time. Then they attack him and drag him out to the floor of the facility to punk him. Security forces show up almost immediately, summoned by the first trainee they attacked. Something tells me this isn't over just yet...

Mike Tenay interviewed the prospective bride and groom on tape about their nuptuals next week on Nitro. David isn't actually able to tell us whether or not his father will be there. Stacy (Miss Hancock) doesn't seem to want to let David say anything. Tenay's attitude throughout is beligerent - in fact Stacy takes offense and cuts off the interview after only a few questions. Backstage at the arena, Goldberg is looking for Bret Hart.

Three Count come to the ring carrying baseball bats and challenge Kronic. Kronic answers the challenge, telling them to hold onto the bats so they can use them for popsickle sticks! Kronic kicks butt as usual, but then the Harris Boyz run down and attack. The big guys all brawl out of the ring and up the aisle, leaving Three Count to win the match via count out.

Crowbar, speaking as his real self, Devon Storm, challenges Shane Douglas to face him in the ring. Then, on the "Lavalamp Lounge" segment, Mike Awesome interviews (or more accurately, hits on) Pamela Paulshock until Jeff Jarrett comes out and spoils the fun with a guitar shot.

Shane Douglas comes to the ring with Torrie and rants about fighting a war on several fronts. His speech is directed at Kidman but it is Crowbar who runs in and attacks him. Unfortunately, Crowbar is still suffering from broken ribs caused by Douglas' last attack n him. Still, he manages to stay in control for the most part until Douglas drops him mid-section first across the ring steps. From there it is all Douglas for several minutes. But then Crowbar comes back. In the ring, he uses his belt to choke out his enemy and gets a series of two counts. After a Dragon Sleeper drop he has the pin, but Torrie runs in and rakes his eyes. Thus distracted, Crowbar is pinned. Outside the ring, Daffney attacks Torrie and gets some shots before she turns the tables. Both end up in the ring as Daffney's friend, Ozzsy shows up but is afraid to enter the ring (not a wrestler, apparently). Douglas lays hands on Daffney and that finally prompts her boyfriend to try and help. He is headlocked and pummeled. Suddenly Madusa runs in! Wait! I thought she was headed back to the WWF! Madusa lays Torrie out with a back kick, then floors Douglas with an insiguri. Backstage, Goldberg is stopped momentarily at the door of Bret Hart's dressing room. After scattering the security troups, he enters the room but it is empty.

After the break, Bret Hart comes to the ring to make a statement about his recent shenanegans. Bret recites some of his history and then says that he figured out that Vince Russo is the guy with the stroke in WCW, so he decided to go with him. He plays a video of Goldberg giving him the concussion (via a back kick) that put him out of the business for the last several months. Goldberg comes to the ring as Hart razzes him and calmly tells the Hitman that he does feel some remorse about what happened. Bret accuses him of deliberately trying to end his career. Goldberg responds that he used to respect Hart, but he's changed his mind. He starts to leave the ring but Hart goads him into returning. He suckers Goldberg into the corner then Scott Steiner runs in and hits the monster with his steel pipe. As Hart urges him on, Steiner slaps on the Steiner recliner until Goldberg passes out.

After the break, Steiner left with a new, blonde, freak.

Next up, a World Tag Team Title defense for the Filthy Animals. The challengers are the former Champs, the Harris Brothers. The latter are all power and little finess. With their size advantage, the Twins dominate the action. In fact the two Champs are forced to save each other over and over. Eventually, the Champs turn the tables and Misterio and Tigress lay a double bronco buster on Heavy D. At that point Kronic shows up and attacks the Harris Twins - costing them the victory.

The next segmant is a recap of what happened Monday night in the WarGames match.

ICP joins the announce team for the next contest - Sting vs. Vampiro in a no-holds barred match. The fight goes immediately to the floor where Sting is dumped over the safety railing. Vamp follows him into the crowd and continues to pummel him until the Stinger turns things around. The fight heads back to the ringside area but stays out on the floor. As they brawl past the announce table, ICP gets physically involved. This is no DQ so, of course, their participation is legal. Sting turns the tables and then menaces Violent J. He turns back, however, and drags Vamp back and slams him on the table then delivers a fairly wimpy chair shot. Back in the ring, Sting is still in charge until Vamp sneaks in a low blow. The clowns keep asking Tony if he is okay. Vamp escapes finally and climbs to the top but Sting is waiting for him and slams him to the mat. Vampiro comes back with a drop-kick to the knee of his opponent and reverses the field. Sting reverses a whip and hits the Stinger Splash twice. The second time, Vamp gets his title belt between them. But still Sting comes back and gets the pin. Shaggy enters the ring and the two of them start in on Sting, who escapes to the floor only to face Muta. Muta rears back to spray his green mist, but Sting ducks and Violent J takes the mist in the face. Uh oh, here comes Goldberg. He dispatches the Dark Carnival then calls Bret Hart out. In answer, Team Canada appears on the screen and Lance Storm says they will be happy to come down and defend Canada's honor...after the break.

Team Canada look a little less eager to fight when faced with the monster in the ring. Storm encourages Skipper to go in and get squashed, and then tries to split. But General Rection meets him on the ramp and forces him back into the ring where Goldberg does his usual thing and gets the pin.


SmackDown Report

Smackdown was taped Tuesday night at Freedom Hall in Louisville, Kentucky and opens with Mike Cole on his own because Jerry Lawler was injured on RAW. As he is explaining this to us, the King's music plays - but it is Tazz, who comes down to join Cole at the announce table. He is full of venom for Chris Jericho as he calls the Millennium Bug's match against X-Pac. In the ring, the match is pretty evenly fought with Jericho seeming to hold a slight edge but X-Pac holding his own throughout the match. About halfway though the contest, X-Pac got a bronco buster on his opponent, but then he climbed onto the corner and was snatched off and dropped on his head. Moments late, Jericho went for a Lionsault but X-pac got his knees up. Almost immediately, X-Pac slipped in a low blow then used the ropes for leverage as he rolled Jericho up for the pin.

Backstage, Kurt Angle is in conference with the Commissioner, who deliberately misunderstands the Olympic hero's words, interpreting them to mean that Angle is asking for a match against the Undertaker! He quickly agrees as Angle sputters a protest.

Edge and Christian come out to the ring to brag about their win over the Undertaker and the Rock (or the "Rockertaker", as Edge put it), then show the footage of Christian covering the Rock for the pin...twice. He goes on to toss out an insult at the hometown crowd - then show the video again, in slow motion this time. Then they show the footage from another angle. They are about to show it yet again when the Rock decides to make an appearance on the platform. He wants to take them both on in a handicap match tonight! They aren't willing to oblige so Maivia gives them a verbal whiplashing. The brothers confer and then present a compromise. They will give him the match he wants if he will agree that they can both be in the ring at the same time...and the WWF Title is on the line. He agress to both stips, then makes a prediction. He sees himself to whipping their monkey-a$$e$ all over Louisville! Backstage, Stephanie accuses the Rock of copying HHH, who is set to go up against Test and Albert in a handicap match.

Rikishi takes on Chris Benoit in the next match and pretty much destroys him in the early going. The fight goes out to the floor, where Benoit finally gains some ground with a kick to the midsection followed by a smash into the ring steps. Back in the ring, Benoit gets his big swan dive headbutt, but then Rikishi avoids a second one and then squats on his opponent for a two count. The big guy proceeds to get a series of two counts and is ready to put on the stnkface when Bull Buchanan runs in and attacks him. The Goodfather is not far behind and Rikishi is distracted fighting them off as Benoit creeps up behind him and get a German suplex followed by the pin. Too Cool runs in to help out and all three of them end up in the soup.

A video recap of the IC title sitution from RAW is next. This is followed by a more recent conversation between Mamacita and Eddie G. She is having second thoughts and accuses him of using her to get the Title. He blows up at her and smashes the belt against the wall, then shouts that he's always been there for her and she is ungrateful. He shows her the door...then stalks through it himself, leaving her in tears.

The Dudley Boyz show up at a bar room to take on the Acolytes in, what else, a bar room brawl. It appears that Faarooq is injured early on - possibly glass in his eye, so Bradshaw pretty much takes care of the Dudleys on his own. As Tazz is making snides comments afterward, Jerry Lawler suddenly appears out of the crowd and attacks Tazz from behind, hoking him with a leather strap until a swarm of officials separate them.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley-McMahon comes out with his sweetie to face T&A all on his lonesome. It is clear as the match developes that Albert is the one with the talent in the latter duo. HHH handles Test easily but Albert turns things around before handing it back to the "weak link". In their conversation ringside, the announcers have somehow twisted things around to make it appear that Test was the villian in the infamous wedding day situation last November. Amazing... Throughout the match, T&A ignore the rule that says they are supposed to be tagging in and out, but HHH still manages to hold his own. The critical moment comes when Trish Stratus gets physically involved only to have Stephanie drag her out of the ring and slap her to the ground. Test reaches over the ropes and grabs Stephanie then menaces her on the outside. HHH is down in the ring and sees none of this. Kurt Angle runs down and rescues her then gets a shot in on Albert - giving HHH the chance to apply the Pedegree and take the win. In the back after the match, Hunter is not happy about what just went down ajnd refuses to acknowledge that Angle's help was needed.

The Road Dogg is up against Eddie G for the Intercontinental Title in the next match. Chyna comes to the ring with Eddie, but there is none of the usual lovey-dovey much on their way to the ring. The Dogg makes the mistake of turning his back on Eddie to hepl Chyna from the ring - he gets blindsided for his chivalry. Throughtout the match, Chyna tries hard to put a brave face on it and cheer her man on to victory - but there is a definite reluctance showing, since the Dogg is an old friend from her DX days. In the end she helps Eddie by shoving them over in order to reverse a roll-up and give him the pin. Afterward, Chyna tries to explain things to the Dogg, distracting him so that Eddie can attack him from behind. She thinks she convinces him to lay off her friend, but he turns back and starts in on his vanquished foe once again. She returns and convinces him to break off the attack.

The RTC faces off against Too Cool in the next match. They make up for their lack of size by being the better tag teamTowards the end of the match, Scotty goes for the worm on Buchanan, but the Goodfather runs in and breaks it up. He then turns the tables and has the Grand Master ready to pin - but Rikishi runs in and drops a big leg on him while the referee is busy dealing with a brawl on the floor. GM pins GF, then the good guys dance. Back at the bar, the Dudleys and the Acolytes have earned new resopect for each other and seem to be pals now. Kaientai show up to crash the party, but they don't succeed.

Next up, the Undertaker against a decidedly reluctant Kurt Angle - it's true, it's true... HHH watches the dead man manhandle his nemesis on a backstage monitor with a big grin on his face. Angle is being squashed during the early going but eventually the quality of his athleticism shows through and he turns the tide. He gets some devestating shots to the sternum as the U Man is draped on the edge of the apron. Backstage, HHH and Stephanie are exhibiting different reactions to what is going on in the ring. Suddenly, Chris Benoit runs in and spoils the match. He and Angle start to do a number on the Undertaker, but HHH runs in and chases Angle from the ring area. Back inside, the dead man powerbombs the Wolverine then leaves him laying as he splits.

Backstage after the break, Stephanie is unhappy with her husband for attacking Angle.

Steve Austin appears from his home in Texas to announce that he hasn't forgotten what happened to him. He is demanding that the person who ran him down step forward and reveal his identity, so he can kick his butt. Right, like that's going to happen... Backstage, the Tag Champs are looking to the future after they beat ther Rock - but fail to look behind them as he attacks and lays them out.

After the break we learn that Edge has been taken out of action - so Christian has gotten Kane to be his partner! This is a chance for Kane to become the champion once again! Despite the stip that says that Christian and his partner can both be in the ring at once, Christian chooses to sit out the action on the outside for some reason. In the ring, the Rock goes for a Rock Bottom, but Kane thwarts it with a back elbow smash. The fight goes out to the floor where the Rock delivers a big shot with the ring bell. With Kane laid out, Christian finally springs into action and attacks the Rock from behind. Back inside the ring he continues his assault by choking Maivia, then goes for a pinfall and gets two. Kane returns to the frey but is stopped ion the apron and turned back by Maivia's big right hands. Christian is then laid out with a spine buster then goes for the People's Elbow. But Kane is back and shokeslams the Rock then goes for the cover...but Christian breaks it up. This precipitates a brawl bewteen the two partners as Rockie still lies in the ring. Edge runs down to help his brother. he keeps Kane busy while Christian sneaks back into the ring carrying the World Title belt. He stalks the Rock, but then is caught and Rock Bottomed for the pin. Kane comes back and drags Maivia to the outside where he slams him through the announce table. The program fades...


ECW on TNN

The program is coming from the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City once again this week. Styles and Gertner are in the ring for their usual opening remarks. Gertner barely gets his sexual connotations out before Mr. Network shows his face and declares that the show is cancelled! For about the ten millionth time, Cyrus dares Gertner to attack him. As he is getting into Gertner's face, running on about gutless New Yorekers, Paul Heyman runs in and takes him out with his cell phone!! Talk about a vintage moment! Of course, then Rhino shows up and hoists the boss through a table set up for him in the corner - then Cyrus is back challenging anyone to come face Rhino. An enraged fan (apparently) takes up the challenge - and then the locker room empties as the entire cast of athletes weighs in for a donnybrook. Somehow, this sorts out to a World TV Title match between Kid Kash and Rhino as the Sandman's music starts to blair forth from the PA system. Sandman goes back to his old style, taking his own sweet time making his way to the ring to take over the battle from Kash - who is down in the corner. He hits Rhino repeatedly with his cane - but then the Rookie Monster shakes it off and hits him with a spear. Rhino goes back to fighting with Kash as the Sandman falls out of sight. Then Rob Van Dam's music starts up. RVD runs in and hits Rhino with a VanDaminator. Bill Alfonso then sets up Rob's chair on Rhino's chest then drop-kicks him off of a springboard dive from across the ring! He and Kash then hit a double splash from opposite ends of the ring - and Kash gets the pin! Kid Kash is the new TV Champ! Beats the hell out of 25 minute promos at the top of the program...

The Blue Boy (aka the Blue Meanie) is into it with Balls Mahoney as we return from the break. The Blue Boy is a much more serious scrapper then we remember the Blue Meanie ever being. He has slimmed down a bit (about 100 lbs.) and changed his appearance substantially. He also brings Jazmine to the ring with him nowadays. Mahoney has his hands full, trying to dominate the proceedings. He does manage to almost get the oin - but Jazmine is distracting the referee. Balls confronts the lady and is himself distracted and almost pinned. But he comes back and usas a chair to gain the pinfall. He delivers a nutcracker suite on Jazmine after taking the duke.

What follows are some recaps of Jerry zLynn getting pinfalls over Rob Van Dam and Justin Credible during the last few weeks. The a truly bizarre scene - in front of someplace they are calling "ECW New York" - a guy with a prosthetic leg gets it torn off after he is thrown out of the joint.

Tajiri and Mikey put their Tag Team Titles on the line against the FBI - in the persons of Little Guido and Tony Marmaluke (who is in it to win his stripes). "That Guy" is now being referred to as "the Sinister Minister" - I think I liked his old moniker better... Marmaluke show off his excellent training (by Dean Malenko, no less) by slapping a short arm scissors on Whipreak early on. Of course we all know what Guido can do - these are a couple of wrestling machines. The crowd is quite appreciative of the non-stop, hold and counter-hold style action. Tajiria and Whipwreak are no slouches as they show with some fancy coordinated moves then follow up with simultaneous drop-kicks to their opponent's heads then a pair of STF's. The challengers end up on the floor being comforted by Big Sal - Tajiri throws a moonsault and takes them all three to the floor. Now a table is brought into the ring and Guido has it drop-kicked into his face. Sal tries to interfere but he is similarly dealt with. Guido is tied to the tree of woe by Tajiri and kicked in the face. Then he is whipped to the opposite corner where Whipwreak comes off the top and catches him in the face with a chair. This goes on for a while longer until Mikey misses with another chairshot and loses the initiative. The table is set up in the corner as Mikey is being isolated. But then Mikey escapes with a tilt-a-whirl suplex onto the top rope. Guido is run into the table but doesn't break it. It is Big Sal who finally turns the tables, dispite being sprayed in the face with green mist. Guido gets the pin on Tajiri and the Tag Team Titles change hands for the second time in two weeks.

That's it for now. Until next time...

At least that's the way I see it...

Earl Oliver
Editor, Solie's Wrestling Newsletter



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Bret Hart's Weekly Column in the Calgary Sun


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This page is a personal tribute and is in no way connected to any of the wrestling promotions mentioned on it. It is dedicated to the memory of the Dean of Wrestling announcers, Gordon Solie.

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